Syria's Spotty Future

Syria's Spotty Future -  Pastel

This is one of a series of pastels I did with spots. This one I finished in June 2011. I name it Syria's Spotty future.  Considering it's 3 1/2 years later

The other 2 pastels I did in the same time frame, inspired by Syria's Arab spring. Also finished in June of 2011, after which I haven't really drawn.

Syrian women watching the sunset on another brutal day

Mosque in Damascus under a blood red sky

New funky sarongs

Found a few more sarongs at value village in the past few weeks. These are the prettiest ones.

The pink one was totally new, never even been washed. Was also $5.99, the most expensive 2nd hand sarong that I picked up. 

Love the pretty design on this one

Love the colours of this one

Not a big fan of Royalty

However I do have to give credit to Queen Elizabeth II, she has chutzpah!  This article is well worth the read.

This time it's true.....

Back in 2011, I likened the head of Saudi Arabia to Schrodinger's cat.

Today he's really dead. Here's a summary of his life.

While KSA is still the most backwards country in the world, where women still can't drive, he "apparently" tried to slowly bring his country into the 21st century. May he RIP.

First dress of 2015

Burda 8510 with a Digital print Rayon

Burda 8510

Gullible yes, stooopid, no!

Was reading something the other day and I had an AHA moment.

1) I shouldn't be reading random things on the internet in the middle of the night.[Well other then silly little articles about sex. Those are always fun]

2) I should always verify what I read with reputable sources. Though sometimes reputable sources don't talk about certain things. However if all articles I find on a subject are from some obscure papers, and all based on one another... sounds like ... well.. bs.

3) If it makes me really think WTF, then I should investigate more, because it's likely the rantings of a not all here individual. I've had people in my life that were not always centered in reality.

4) There are a lot of deranged individuals with really strange agenda's. Including heads of states.

Failed relationships

Beautiful sunrise

All I could think was WTF?

It's the 2nd or third night in a row that fall asleep around 10sh and wake up around 2ish. ANd then have a phenomenally hard time getting back to sleep.

I did read some between 2 and 3 AM this morning, and I'm not sure how I stumbled upon the 9th circle group but if any of what I read is true... then.. wtf. 

Sometimes I wonder how much of the news that we are exposed to is real and how much is fabricated. I wonder about Charlie Heddo for instance. Sounds like a ploy to get rid of more of our individual freedoms.

Anyways here is a link to an article I found, and what makes me believe it's true is that it does refer to incidents I have heard about. Of course the best way to make people believe what you write is sprinkle it with half truths.

I dunno what to think but whether imagine or real it's very CREEPY!

I wonder what my dad would think. Sadly he's not around anymore for me to ask.

A Syrian Story.

Is a poignant short film by my 2nd husband. Check it out here. It has been shown at many film festivals and is still being chosen for more.

I don't blog about Syria anymore, but the Syrian people are still in my heart. It's horrible that it's going on almost 4 years later. It's horrible that the world not only watches by but different countries provide the arms for the different terrorist factions. Make no mistakes the average Syrian wants nothing to do with ISIS or Al-Queda, or  having a muslim state.  The average Syrian just wants a country where his children can grow in peace without fear for having an opinion that is different from it's ruler.

Awesome week-end

Wonderful week-end spend in the company of my friends from Kingsbury. I generally have a great time when I spend it with them and this time was no exception. We wandered around several thrift shops, where I found some more silk scarves. We found some cool lingerie that fit my friend.

It sucks that clothes made for more voluptuous women assume they want to hide their curves. Sometimes a voluptuous woman wants to show off her beautiful assets and it sucks that no one seems to cater to that.  I tend to like mideval clothing on rubinesque women because it is made to make them look pretty as opposed to hiding them under tents or very conservative clothing.

We also went for a walk in Bois de Liesse with husky, who just had a blast. She got to meet a whole bunch of friendly dogs, along our walk, and I will do fine having my own husky when I move to Cape Breton.

My friend also made some awesome jerk. I found it perfect but it was a bit hot for some of those who ate it. My friend was not impressed, and found it a fail, but I loved it. Having 3 lunches with it this week. YUMMY!

Salon Amour et Seduction

Was the first time i went to Le Salon de L'Amour et Seduction and it maybe the last time. So many of the booths had little to do with the subject.

One of the first booths upon arrival was POTS and PANS. Like  WTF? ??? There was 2 different booths dedicated to bamboo pillows. Then half a dozen booths trying to sell 'erotic vacations'. and nudist clubs. That's a real waste of space. Other then the fact that all performers also had booths. Which left not so many booths to sell lingerie and sex toys. You would think the bigger sex shops in Montreal would have had a booth but they didn't.


Even some of the booths with toys didn't even have demo models and boxes were sealed. So can't tell what you're buying. Some of the booths with lingerie & corsets were just thieves. We saw a sexy dress there for $60 and we found the same thing at La Vie en Rose l'entrepot, for $20 plus an extra 40% off. So that boutique went to all local stores bought at cheap prices and resold for lots of money.

That leads me to think that the prices for the booths are especially steep.  We figured we would have had a better time and seen more cool new stuff if we had gone to three big well known sex shops around Montreal.  I'm not going back ever again to this Salon....

Hot and saucy

 

Lately with my lunch I've been having hot sauce. At home I have a bottle of Franks but I saw this one at a good price at Maxi and decided to give it a chance.   Does not burn much in your mouth, but afterwards you feel nice and warm. It has a nice taste, unlike, say Tabasco, which is icky tasting... 

I've been eating this hot sauce with my Protein Power Goddess bowl. YUMMY!

 

I was not crowned today...

It was just a fitting. Spent an hour in the dentist chair and his assistant kept using me to put tools on for dentist to then use later, but she but them too close to my neck and that seems to trigger in me the urge to want to hit her. Thankfully I didn't :)

I usually take Decarie blvd to NDG avenue, then down Westmount blvd to Lansdowne, then Sherbrooke to Mount Pleasant And then it's the search for parking up it or down Elm.

View down Lansdowne between Cote St Antoine and Sherbrooke Street West.

Enjoying the new Shampoo.

I picked up some new shampoo to help with my itchy dry winter scalp. I mean I already only wash my hair twice a week, because of how dry my scalp gets. This is not new. Until I was 5 my mom only washed my hair once a week for the same reason and twice a year I'd get an oil treatment.

The shampoo I picked up Jason Tea Tree Shampoo smells nice, feels nice when I use it, and it does remove the itchies. Bonus, I talked about my right ear that has seborrhoeic eczema. Well one wash of the ears at the same time as I shampoo scalp and it's gone.  Will be washing the outside of my ears with the shampoo the rest of the winter.  Between that and Noxzema, my ear is happy!

I also got the conditioner. Smells just as nice and makes my hair nice and manageable.

Cold wind blowing on....

Some might recognize a song by the Tragically Hip in that title. 

-27C plus the wind. So cold it was all hazy out this morning

Toby can't make up his mind!

So got the last 2 tarot decks last night. The Crystal vision Tarot and the Tarot of the Celtic fairies,  along with Crowley's Thoth book.So everything arrived within 10 days

.Toby seems to like the two that start with Crys.....

Girls, Girls, Girls

Nope not talking about the Motley Crue Song.

I've been watching Girls for a while now. At first it was like watching a train wreck but I couldn't help myself. Mostly because I didn't want to see how stupid one can be as a 20 something female in a large city. I was not much better at that age.

I like the TV show Girls even more after knowing it is written by a 20-something woman, Lena Dunham, for whom I have a lot of admiration.

It sucks what when someone is as outspoken as she is that the backlash is phenomenal. It's like they want to silence her. Interesting article I read this morning about Lena Denham.   I will be hunting down her book. Dunno if my local library will have it or if I'll have to buy it, but I want to read it.

Hate speech comes in all forms.  It amazes me the backlash against a young articulate woman, but EVERYONE Is CHARLIE, and that's mostly hate speech.

Just sayin....

He sits with the decks

Toby sits surrounded by my new tarot cards. In the wooden box, mini deck tarot of the pagan cats. Behind it the Crysalis Tarot, The blue box is the Silver Witchcraft and the box in front to the right is the Mystic Dreamer Tarot. 

 Ultimately my cards always have cat energies. I tend to not let anyone else touch my cards, especially not the deck I use for reading. But my cats always sit on the decks, walk on the decks. So my decks always have cat energies and these decks will be no different.

The Adorbs....

See how big kitten got? He's almost as long as Jethro. Toby is just 9 months... and almost as long as a Maine Coon. Big Kitteh!

Embracing life

I've probably mentioned before that all my walls came down during the fall this year. This is a good thing, as my walls had gotten phenomenally thick since my dad's death in 2003. 

At the point my dad died, it was just too much. My mom left us in 1999,  I left a 5 year relationship in 2000, my Grandfather left us in 2000, I had surgery in 2001, our favourite 12 year old cat left us in 2003, my children moved to live with their dad in 2003, and then my dad died.

The doctor I was seeing at the time said there had been so many events and so much loss in my life, that she didn't believe I could handle one more thing. She suggested I see a therapist, but the one I had been seeing back then went on maternity leave and I could not see myself starting over with someone new at that point. It was just more then I could handle.

I spent 2 years completely celibate. Which is completely out of character for me. Until then I had gone from one relationship to the next, with little break in between any.  I was celibate at this point because I was so fragile, anything going wrong could have destroyed me. Touch was too much. Though I am fussy as to who touches me and why, this is the point where I stopped wanting anyone to touch me.  That's when I started to cringe at most physical contact.

I build a wall, a very thick wall to protect what was left of me, my sanity, my ability to continue on, like a wounded warrior.  Sadly as time passed and things changed, I was stuck behind my wall. So thick, and I wasn't sure how it was going to come down.

I suspect this wall did not help my relationship with my 2nd husband. Especially since he could see way beyond the wall. His misguided attempts at trying to poke holes into my wall, did not really help, other then to increase my paranoia and put up curtains in the more volatile areas. I do know he meant well. He really did want to help me find my way out of my maze.

I'm more or less at peace with the events that have happened since 1999. I'm still processing some things, but lately my emotionally processing has gone from slower then a snail stuck in crazy glue, to the pace of a turtle. I'm processing a lot of the hurt, and the pain and trying to turn it into positives.

I'm sad that the POF guy got involved in a situation where he could not deliver, but really it's HIS loss. I'm an awesome person, and he'll never get to know exactly HOW awesome I really am other then in his dreams.

I will dance with the stars again, and feel the waves of the ocean. I will soar like the red-tailed hawk and roar like the bobcat.  I will embody the spirit of the dragonfly and bring magick to those around me. I will listen to wolf's wisdom, and continue walking through the path less travelled. I will continue tearing the walls that chain me. I will be one with all that is, all that was and all that will ever be.  I will dance with Kali. I will go to places I've dreamed, but never thought possible.

I'm in the closet

About the fact that I still go and look out the window when I hear the snow removal vehicles. Just 5 minutes ago I was looking out the window watching a truck from the city going around the island in front of my house removing a fair amount of loose snow on the 2 inches of ice covering the road.

I will also go look and watch my driveway being cleared by the guy I hired. Of course most of this happens in the middle of the night. Since it wakes me up and I won't be able to fall back asleep with the noise, why not watch the truck move the snow.

I bumped someone.

Yesterday for the first time since I learned to drive, I actually was the one who hit someone else. I've been driving since 1993. Somehow managed not to stop on time, so hit the car in front of me.  The hit in 2009 driving around  Yamaska, I hit a stupid Sebring but the old lady was responsible. 

I was coming along Kingsley and when I tried to stop, the ABS kicked in and did not stop in time before it tapped the little car in front of me.   I stopped, got out of the car, so did the dude. I had hit the bumper dead on straight and he could not find a scratch. It was actually a good thing I did not try to go sideways, I would have hit his bumper at an angle and that would have left a mark.

I've been hit a lot harder. at a stop sign, both times on dry pavement.  I should have slowed down more before attempting to stop but at the same time there was layers of ice.

So far I've received from Amazon in 2 packages, The Pagan Cat Tarot, The Mystic Dreamer Tarot, The Silver Witchcraft Tarot, Crysalis Tarot, and the book, Tarot for yourself.  Still waiting for 2 Tarot decks and one book.

Also stopped at Fabricville and picked up 1.4m of black velvet, which I got 40% off. I will be making pouches for my new Tarot decks.

That's what she said

Sad end to the day

Today I left work at 4:30 and headed to the Rideau funeral home in DDO. It's the first time I go to a viewing of a co-worker. though he isn't the first of my work colleagues to go.

I've been emotional all day. And since Monday every time I walk in front of the flags it makes me cry.

My right ear has seborrhoeic eczema

Yesterday while talking to a co-worker I scratched the back side of my right ear, and found it to be completely covered in flakes. At first I was wondering if someone hadn't dropped a large amount of hair gel or even white glue behind my ear, though I was puzzled how I would not have noticed.

I went home and rinsed it out with water figuring if it was something on my ear it would rinse off. No, it was back once it dried.   I ended up pulling tons of flaky dead skin and putting Vaseline on it.

When I mentioned it to my friend currently living with me, she said I probably had eczema. Since I do get other forms of eczema elsewhere on my body I thought it made sense. I mentioned it to my friend at work, who also suffers from eczema and she says she gets that from time to time as well.

I did some googling and apparently this form of eczema is called seborrhoeic eczema. While the Vaseline did make my ear feel better, tonight after I put my hair up I will put Noxzema on it.

I've had it before but a much milder version. And usually it goes away alone. What puzzles me most is that I was covered it in behind my right ear, and my left ear is just fine.  

Trust Issues

I feel all discombobulated

Probably because it was a full moon a few days ago and I haven't slept well the past 2-3 nights.  That should improve as the moon wanes.

I hope people drive better today then yesterday. I live so close to work and I wanted to kill most of the ones I ran into yesterday.  Some were so afraid of the ice they were going as slow as 15km/hour. Dunno but generally in the worse conditions the speed limit is actually ok.

I've been an emotional basketcase, crying almost every day the past few days. Losing a beloved co-worker will do that to you. I've been tearing down lots of my emotional walls the past little bit, so I'm more likely to cry like a little girl then I would have a year ago.

To get me to cry a year ago, you had to really try and then you were more likely to get anger, not crying. Been crying a lot the past bit. Crying because of breakthroughs crying because of emotions I thought I'd processed, crying because of the good, the bad and the ugly.

And on that note, am taking my crying self to bathe and get myself ready for work.

The big excitement in my life this week will be when my Amazon orders arrive. As it stands 3 packages are on their way, 2 from UPS and 1 from Post Canada so far, with 5 of the 8 items I ordered. One is supposed to arrive today!

Stop signs exist only for ME in this part of Montreal

Already a sign of stopping at a stop sign is a sign of weakness and for many if they see you stopped, it means they don't have to stop.

But on ICY days it seems EVERYONE cannot stop. Except me.

I seem to be able to stop at stop signs, and my doing so means NO ONE ELSE DOES.

On a day like today I feel like driving like the road belonged to me and see how people like it when I blatantly disregard street signs.

I hate people. I hate the West island of Montreal, I hate Montreal, I hate being here at my job.

and 2015 already really sucks.

Good-bye Lorenzo :(

So I got the info for Lorenzo Delpeche's viewing and funeral

Viewing is on Wednesday January 7th, 2015 at Rideau Memorial Gardens from 4pm to 9pm. 4275 Sources blvd

Funeral on Thursday  January 8th, 2015, at 11 am 4250 de Maisonneuve West. Westmount. The church is the Bethel Gospel Chapel 

EDITED: Here is the link to online obituary. 

Walk away from Amazon.....

Good thing I'm working tomorrow, I need to step away from the browser and Amazon.ca.

Yesterday I ordered 4 Tarot decks:  Crysalis Tarot, Crystal Visions Tarot, Silver Witchcraft Tarot and the Tarot of the Celtic Fairies.

Today I ordered 2 Tarot decks: Mystic Dream Tarot and Tarot of Pagan cats,  but in the mini format which should be the same size as regular playing cards, for playing crazy 8's for instance. :)  No I don't intend to play cards with the Tarot of the Pagan cats, but it will fit in my camping gear more easily then bigger Tarot cards.

I also ordered 2 Tarot books, One is Crowley's Thoth book. I could have sworn I had a copy but some of my books have disappeared with time.  The other is a book that my daughter has Tarot for yourself, by Mary Greer, and I wanted to use it to do practice my tarot reading skills. It's very likely I gave the book to my daughter because at the time I did not use it. But I know I've looked for it twice in my house since she left. So best buy myself a new copy.

As for the two friends of mine who so nicely tried telling me I wasn't a fool, well it doesn't matter whether I was or not, if I feel like I was played like a fool, it's a feeling.... and it's going to take a while to go away. 

Double Dick Dude

Stumbled upon this article this morning, posted by a friend and found it fascinating.

This man was born with 2 fully functionally penises. If you want to see it for yourself just go on Tumbr, and search for DoubleDickDude.  You can also  read this.

I'm very curious to read his memoir. I find it awesome that he is currently happily in a relationship with a couple with whom he has a nice 3-way relationship.  It just goes to show that for just about any differences you might have someone out there is going to love you not despite it but also because of it.

Finding that person might be hard but I think in this day and age with the internet, we have a much higher chance of finding people who like us for who we are then ever before.

My baby called me :)

I was so thrilled last night, my youngest daughter. who currently lives in London, UK,  messaged me on Facebook and asked if it was ok to Skype.

I only have skype on my Android at the moment, but I have skyped already several people that way, full video no less and it amazes me that sometimes it's even better then MSN messenger used to be back in 2007 with video. Though it has it's issues too. Sometimes sound still doesn't come across properly.

Anyhow, we talked about 2 hours, was very cool. I is a happy mama.

I've also spent hours on this site researching tarot decks. There are 3 that are really talking to me at the moment that are for sale on Amazon and I might actually order them today.

My friend in Ireland wants me to do a reading for him, and I've tried reading with both my Witches Tarot [the Ellen Cannon Reid version] and my Tarot of the Spirit without much success.  I've outgrown my witches Tarot and I'm finding my Tarot of the Spirit too dark. 

 I haven't been able to read with my Thoth Crowley deck since my early 20's.  I mean I can, but it scares me a little. I've predicted deaths and destruction with that deck with scary accuracy and was made to be afraid of it.    I still LOVE my Thoth deck. I love to sit with it and meditate. But I really don't want to read anyone's future with it.

The 3 decks that are talking to me the most at the moment are the Chrysalis Tarot,  the Mystical Cats Tarot, and the Tarot of the Celtic Fairies.   I've got them in my Amazon cart ready to purchase.

There was the Rainbow Travellers Tarot that talked to me but must be purchased from the Artist. Not sure I want it that badly atm.

There's a few others talking to me that I put in my Amazon wish list, like the Mystic Dreamer Tarot, the Celtic Dragon Tarot Kit, The Silver Witchcraft Tarot Kit, and the Sacred Circle Tarot: A Celtic Pagan Journey.

I have spent hours looking at tarot decks and reading reviews. It's not the same as seeing the cards in person like I used to be able to at the Melange Magique back in the day.   They had a binder that displayed each deck they had for sale, as many cards as would fit the page for the deck.  Helped me choose the Witches Tarot and the Tarot of the Spirit.

I'm such a fool

This guy I met on POF back in September, I get the feeling he's had a fun time stringing me along.

December 19th, the day my vacation started he said it was great to be on vacation that he'd see me a couple of times at least.

What a load of hogwash. I got exactly ONE FUCKING text message from him since the 19th.

Yep. Couldn't even be bothered to send me messages during his vacation.I can't believe I bought into his story. What a fucking naive idiot I have been.

The sad part is I like the guy. But at this point I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth.

You know when you tell someone you have trust issues and they do exactly what it takes to make them worse.

I mean I didn't want an intense relationship where you spend 24-7, 7 days a week with someone. I thought wanting to see someone about once a week and talk most days would be sufficient. Along with the odd week-end camping or canoeing trip.

But apparently that's too much too ask.

Apparently I'm at the very bottom of things that matter for him.

You'd think at my age I wouldn't be played like a fool, but apparently there's no fool like an old fool.

Happy 2015 - with a bad start.

The new year started poorly. Looking at my Facebook feed this morning I realized something was horribly wrong. I saw a message from a ex work colleague to another work colleague about his passing.

I was shocked. I've worked with Lorenzo Delpeche somewhere between 15-20 years. He was a funny, interesting and a sweet man.

He used to screech my name in his high falsetto voice when he would see me, which would make me blush a little and smile coyly.

With most interactions, I would leave with a smile on my face. He brought smiles and laughter to most who got to know him.  He was a big man with an even bigger heart.

He leaves behind 2 young daughters, family and friends who miss him already tremendously. May you rest in peace Lorenzo.

Updated with funeral information.

Toby tries to woo her

This is the third visit Toby makes to my friends house in Kingsbury. Their female cat is never impressed with other animals. She barely tolerates the dog and cat she lives with. So she is generally unimpressed with Toby's presence in the house.  Usually just being in the same room, Pixel growls. Toby managed to get reasonably close and within line of sight. Maybe there is hope!

Despite all the warnings Toby got, he really liked hanging out under the Christmas tree, and we did tolerate him when he wasn't attacking the tree.

The little putz and his shenanigans

Despite having been sprayed a few times with the water bottle I caught him pawing at a hanging decoration. When he heard the camera click he ran probably remembering the water bottle.

 Here the little putz hides on the chair to paw at the dog's tail.

Kittens

Have you ever tried to do a tarot reading with an inquisitive kitten?

I don't recall but he seems paws-on. He always seem to want to touch the cards

Tobias doesn't know .....

As Toby gets acquainted with the skateboard I have big plans for him.

Innocently sitting on the skateboard

Poor sleep

What a day. Didn't get to sleep till 4am, but then really didn't sleep much, and was up by 9am. My stomach was having another one of them days. I still have mounds of pots and pans from Sunday but no motivation to do anything.

Eventually after dosing in and out of sleep in my chair part of the afternoon, I went to sleep around 4 and slept straight till 11pm. Of course that's not going to help me sleep tonight, but this nap was longer then most of my nights sleep in the past week.

I felt badly, I was invited to dinner that evening but I could not bear thinking about going out in the pissing rain with the nausea and all. 

Perhaps the stress of the holidays. Hopefully my tummy troubles are going to be over soon.

Interesting find online

While I don't believe in labels, sometimes they help you figure out things. I've never really been strong on monogamy, but at the same time I do build lasting relationships with people. Some of which are strongly emotional and intimate but the relationship itself is platonic and within standards norm of friendship or what society considers normal.

Of course fact I build such relationships just as easily with men or women, including some in lands far away puzzles some people, but it doesn't make me defective. It just makes me 'different'.

With time and age you realize that you can find people who you click with and like similar things you do and have similar expectations. I found this interesting article on  Solo Polyamory a lot of which makes sense to me.

I have many close friends, with close emotional bonds, including my 2nd ex husband. We might not have been "happily ever after' material but the love and friendship between us certainly hasn't changed. I told him not to long ago, that my condition to sign the divorce papers was that he had to promise that I would always be a friend, that I could not stand losing my friend. We were good friends before we became more and losing that good friend would really hurt.  But I should have no such fears.  We're good. He said as much and he was sincere. I could see it in his eyes.

My family these days consists of my daughters, my close friends and my cats, and sometimes I'm not sure I want a primary relationship. Those are often messy and complicated.... and I don't do well in them. 

And then it was 2

By Monday 3pm, I was alone with an old friend visiting from Ottawa, who stayed till Tuesday. We got to hang out. and talk and not do much of anything.

We had the mussel leftovers, it was just enough for a meal for two and as it turned out he hadn't sampled the mussels on Sunday.  I wanted to make French fries to accompany the mussels but it didn't happen.  There was enough mussels.

Still want to make fries with my brand new vegetable cutter, that cuts vegetables and small potatoes, and it julienne. I love juliennes.  I wonder if this would cut sweet potatoes, probably not. Maybe that's what I'm going to have for dinner tonight. French fries, cut with my brand new fry cutter.

Monday morning though I was up early and at Club Tissu in Laval so my eldest daughter could choose a sewing machine for herself. Went spent an hour or so there, she got lesson on the machine she liked and bought and that extended my membership by 3 months.  So she goes back to Halifax with a sewing machine. She may not yet get into making her own clothes, but she can use it for her crafts.

It's that time of the year

I left work at noon on Friday, and only go back to work on the 5th of January.

My daughter arrived by 4pm boyfriend in tow, I was just about to doze off,  was another day where I was feeling on and off.  

Did some cooking that night and on the Saturday.  I would have liked to go to Ikea with my daughter but was not feeling healthy enough. I felt totally drained and the thought of being at IKEA at this time of the year with all the people made me shriek inside.

I stayed home and cooked, my friends came in from the townships on Saturday night and I had a nice time chatting with them and my daughter. 

Sunday most people dispersed and I had the house to myself for a few hours to get ready and finish most of the cooking. People starting arriving around 5:30 and a nice time was had by all

I was disappointed that my new friend did not even stop in briefly at least to meet a few of my friends.  But I could dedicate a whole entry to that topic but it's probably not worth the effort.

The Chile Shrimp was a success as always. I made 4lbs of shrimp and it went like that. Poof.  There was no left overs, in fact some folks didn't even get the chance to get a 2nd serving.

My daughter made mussels, oh they were divine.  YUM.

Husky visits

She felt at home on the bed right with the pack

This is too cute not to share

I've always found men that actually spend quality time with their children, very sexy. So I had to share this article with dads who do all sorts of fun stuff with their kids.

I have to say I got a step-dad I was 10. He was phenomenal. I got to put curlers in this hair and try different hair do's on him. He gave me airplane rides around the house, and he was 6ft3inches, so that was a lot of fun. I used to walk around using his shoes, since they were size 13, and clunk away  He played all sorts of cool games with me as a teen though they would tax his brain.  Heck even in the last few years, in his wheelchair, he would go shopping with me, because he knew I enjoyed that.

I've been an emotional mess this past bit, with raw emotions busting out at the seams all the time, so just writing this entry and looking at this article is making me cry

It's just one of those days.

He loves playing with the windchimes in my studio

Tired this morning

I was awake till 2:30 trying to get zen with my sleep.  Before that I was cooking. I managed to make ratatouille and rosemary chicken last night, along with some rice, since I'm having ratatouille for lunch today and tomorrow.

I managed to get kitchen reasonably back clean once I was done since today is cleaning lady day, and I don't want to hunt for my stuff.

I was chatting with my buddy in Ireland when I got home, then chatted with a friend on and off, took a Skype video call from a friend in Ottawa and also talked to my not quite ex husband. It's rare that I spend the entire evening chatting. Was more sociable then usual but it helped me get through cooking.

What I would do without my little Galaxy S4 mini...

Also ran out around 8pm to stop at the bank drive through and pick up a few items I could not cook without. On the way back I came on my street from Pierrefonds blvd, and it's parallel to it for a while. My street rarely gets snow removal so it still had about an inch of snow. I drove the whole length around 35km/hour slaloming while listening to Riders on the Storm. Epic :) 

I'm so duh this morning, but I'm psyched. 2 more days and then vacation till January 5th.

Weird. I just threw up. I have a feeling it's the B complex, sometimes it sits funny on an empty stomach.  It can't be anything else, cause as soon as I was done, the heavy nausea from being starving hit me and I just downed my bowl of cereal and I feel fine, now.

For some reason it reminds me of something that I talked about last night with one friend about the chinese proverb "May you live in interesting times"

Well then it's being interesting!!! 

Toby: up close and personal

When the alarm goes off Toby comes to cuddle... up close and personal.

Yay Facebook.....

So in excess of 80 people wished me a  happy birthday on Facebook, some on my wall, some in private messages, some with cute little videos, some with cute cards, and even an ex with his brothers computer. I should mention even my youngest first cousin took the time to wish me a happy birthday and tell me that we may not communicate much but he loves to follow what I do on facebook. I know how that feels, I love to just know what people are up to and that they seem happy.

Also got a few emails, phone calls and even someone stopped at my door to give me a birthday hug.

Close to 100 people wished me happy birthday. Which was a shitty day, made less shitty by the fact that many people took the time to think about me.

After the big hug from my friend I took a nap from 5pm to 10 pm. When I woke up around 10ish I felt a lot better. Finally felt human. I had a long chat with a friend and went off to bed feeling good, I hope she felt the same way.

Sadly I have yet to cook for my Yule dinner on Sunday the 21st, but you know what? I will come home early most days except for today I have therapist appointment at 6.

I'm going to cook some of the food some nights this week and it will all work out. No point in panicking. ANd I can also cut the menu if I think I can't pull it off. This would stress me out a lot other years not this year.

Alone in my own shit!

I fell asleep around 9ish last night and was fine till about 3ish this morning. This is where my bowels decided it wanted to expel just about everything it was harbouring,  in a highly liquefied form. Though I managed to sleep with a hot water bottle, to a gurgling belly, I woke up feeling wet and nasty.

I have to say this is a positively shitty way to start my 52nd year and this is probably more then you wanted to know about me today. but fuck really? Another bout? Making it the 4th time since I been back from Toronto that I have to fucking run to the goddamn toilet?

Figures of course that I had brand new sheets and these are whitish with snowflakes. They are now soaking in the washing machine.

I won't be shopping. In fact I'll probably be sitting very close to one of my 3 toilets today.  Me and my shitty sense of humour :P

Today I get my winter tires on

This morning I'm going to get my winter tires on and get an oil change as well as get the cabin light in my truck looked at. Otherwise I'm not having issues with it.

I seemed to remember having a hard time moving the tires,  225 60R18. Apparently they weigh anywhere from 26-30 lbs. I guess after moving my 38lb canoe alone, the tires don't seem particularly heavy anymore. or as awkward. 

 

So tires in truck and leaving to be there for 7:45. Yuck.

Otter boxes for mobile phones.

A co-worker dropped his Samsung galaxy 5 in his garage thus morning and completely shattered the glass. He was using a Samsung case.

I just dropped my Samsung galaxy 4 mini in its otter box. Three co-workers reacted like I'd killed my phone. I drop it often though usually not on purpose and LOVE my Otter Box. 

The only thing that would make it perfect was if it was also waterproof.  

Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini with Otter box. It's clunky but safe :)

 

Nor'Easter decenber 11 2014

Photos of driveway and drive to work.  Love the snow.

Dress finished in the wee hours of Wednesday Morning

McCalls M6889 with a thick green poly-cotton knit

This is the third time I use McCalls M6889 and I got it perfectly for my body this time. No gaping neckline. Fabric is really comfy. Looks a bit like I'm wearing sweatshirt fleece but it's not.

I feel totally naked without my beloved Samsung Galaxy S4 mini....

It's so pretty outside this morning. We had a Nor'Easter go through overnight and this morning everything was covered in snow. It's heavy wet snow, so it was stuck to all the trees and until it warms up it looks really surreal. I would have taken photos except that I had neither a camera nor even my !(*%#(*&%()*# android.

Though to be honest it amazes me that I don't forget it or lose it more often!!!  I left my phone I think on the stairs next to where my purse and lunch bag was. I guess I thought it was either in my sweater pocket or in my coat pocket, but no. I noticed it at the first red light on Sources.

Perhaps when my new laptop arrives I'll be less attached to my phone but until that time I'm feeling NAKED without my stupid phone. And it's not like I use it as a phone that often. Usually it's used as a texting/chatting device.

It keeps me sane during 5 minute mode changes at work. Yesterday I spent 3 hours doing mode changes. In between I'd look at my phone, read articles. Do something to prevent myself to lull myself into a coma. Doing nothing for 5 minute chunks while waiting for software to finish it's task is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Yay Asthma.

Soon winter vacation will be upon us. It won't be too soon. Toronto left a bitter taste in my mouth and I was sick for some time afterwards. I'm still clearing my lungs of mucus. It's weird because I hardly have a cough, but I'm still taking two swings of Buckleys "Coughs and Congestion" two to three times a day.

What I've found is it helps with the lung congestion a great deal, and instead of coughing unproductively forever, with the Buckleys I'm coughing productively very infrequently.  Of course not used to this so I skip taking a dose of Buckleys and then I end up with mild asthma attacks later on.

With this series of infections I've had coming back from Toronto I've almost emptied 3 x 100ml of Buckleys. I have 2 bottles that probably have 2-3 more doses left and one I finished already. Good thing I stocked up on Buckleys in Toronto before I got sick and then again at Walmart the first week I was back home.

Yes I *hate* Walmart for everything it stands for. Making poor people poorer. But I have to say, the meds that I can't find anywhere else I can often find in the Pharmacy at Walmart. Like Buckleys Coughs and Congestion when it was hardest to find, and Rougiers "Strawberry Extract", which keeps my tummy happy when it's unhappy.

I can't believe I fell asleep on my couch around 8ish last night up until midnight where I got up, migrated to bed and went right  back to sleep, even Toby crashed quickly.  I didn't wake up till 3:45 and then fell back asleep until the alarm around 6ish. I know I needed the sleep, I had one night this week-end I didn't sleep, though I took nap both Saturday late afternoon and Sunday late afternoon.  Finally catching up on the sleep I hadn't gotten since Toronto.

Hanging with my homies!

In Memory of December 6th, 1989

In Memoriam of December 6th, 1989

You are gone forever but not forgotten
The memory of your tragedy lives on
It is a pity that you were attacked and killed
For just fulfilling your potential

There is a malaise in society
That was created long before you came to be
It will not go away so easily
Perhaps your death will make the problem clearer

There were those who looked on in disbelief
Those who were confused and deeply hurt
How can someone decide the fate of others
Is there no justice for the living?

The work of a madman for sure
But there is a madperson in all of us
Some say that he was just a marginal exception
But how can we learn to trust others again

Perhaps this incident will make people think
Of all the injustices committed towards women
Perhaps the next time she cries injustice
Society will believe she her complaint.

The answer does lie within each one of us
To forgive him who focused his personal anger on women
To help others learn to love and help themselves
And make this world equal for both men and women.


In your memory: Genevieve Bergeron, Helene Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Havierncik, Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz, Maryse Laganiere, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay,Sonia Pelletier, Michele Richard, Annie St..Arneault, Annie Turcotte

Blood red sky

When I ran my bath this morning noticed that the sunrise was quite colourful

Geese? In December?

On the way out of work around 4ish today I noticed migrating geese. I can't remember the last time I saw geese migrate in December. Usually they are long gone by now. I guess this bunch didn't get the memo.

Why did you open the light, I was sleeping....

I'm still a feminist!

I've been a feminist since I was a small child. I've always felt that being a girl shouldn't prevent me from doing whatever I wanted in my life.  Asked at age 6 what I was going to be when I grew up I would answer "Medical doctor" or even "Prime Minister". Little did I know how much I would hate politics, politicians and  how full of lies public life is, but it never occured to me as a 6 year old girl that I could not do this as a girl in 1962.

I find it appalling the things women still cannot do in 2014.  Simple things like same pay for same work. As a competent computer technician I feel I should earn the same amount of money as another competent technician who does similar job. I am recognized as a competent tech in my field mostly because I use to work 3 times as hard as the boys. I had to be better then them all the time to be noticed as even competent in the field.

When I started in 1992, I used to get razzed about my gender all the time. It only stopped when I started to razz the guys the same way they razzed me.  I've actually told co-worker who couldn't figure out a hardware problem that I quickly resolved that the reason I managed to resolve it that quickly is that I didn't have a penis between my legs to confuse me.

A few weeks ago I had to do reviews for my employees and I know my boss checks our bug database to see how many problems each employee documents.  I realized I had 3 times the number of issues as my best guy, who is my 2nd. Everyone else has put less issues. To be honest I seem to have found as many issues as the rest of my team put together. This has been a constant for many years. Some of it is that I go on projects before the guys so I find the blaring issues. The other thing is I test the more complex configs and that finds the weirder issues.Some of it is that I'm that good at finding issues.

All of this to say that I'm over 50 and I still strongly feel that gender is not relevant in how good you are at something or another.  Yet in 2014 there were still plenty of things women were told they could not do. 

My kitties sun in the kitchen

For a bit this morning I tried to get some vitamin D. I had company.
Can you believe the bronze coloured desert lynx kitten is 7 months old. He's huge.

I'm vibrating with the string. No really?!?!!

Tobias at 7 months old.  Each tile is 12". Draw your own conclusions.

All 4 of my kittehs were hanging out. Yep Ziva was the Diva on the chair!

Toby enjoying the packaging of cat toys

Looking for Christmas presents - Looking for Photos? Christmas Photo shoot?

My friend Nina Haigh is an awesome photographer. I love her work, her vision. She's also easy to work with, energetic, enthusiastic and a ray of sunshine. I'm not just saying it because she's my friend. I'm saying it because these happen to be things I love about her.

Check out her ETSY SHOP  , there you might find prints you really love.

Check out her Facebook page.  where you can find the  Holiday Portrait Sessions,  which makes the perfect gift!!!!!

It happens that I also take photos where she takes photos and it always amazes me the angles that she sees that I don't see. It helps she's got professional training, but she's also quite the artist.   This photo below is one of my favourites, it's along the Lachine Canal in Lachine or Lasalle, I confuse all the beautiful weeping willows along that shore of the Montreal island.

Photographer: Nina Haigh

She works in the Eastern Townships, she's closest to Richmond, but she also travels to Montreal to do her art.

Tuesday on my mind

I've come to the epiphany that there was some sort of shift after I went to Toronto.  Basically things haven't been the same. And we all know how well people with ADHD deal with change. At first like a bull in a china shop. Give me a few weeks and I have adapted.  Also it's the time of the year I hate the most, the time leading to my birthday and Christmas.

That and I've had 3 viral infections, two stemming from colleague who was sick when we travelled and the last caught due to the other two. I'm still fighting the last one. My back is still twingy, I wake up and I have so much congestion, you'd think it was allergy season.

I've been an emotional basketcase needing support. I can't seem to face work today. Yesterday was so dismal, I hid at my desk most of the day. Today, I'm going to stay home in hopes that rest will make me better.

Of course the two episodes of cold sores in my right nostril did nothing good, and when I go through outbreaks of herpes it puts me in a vile mood. I've been ignoring this fact but it keeps reminding me.

As for my friend, he was sick all week-end. Why he couldn't text me he wasn't well, I dunno. I guess that's what I need to get across. He means well.  And apparently whether that makes me an idiot or not is left for others to figure out but I really do like him.  I did figure out I'd rather see him once a month then ever see the asshole from May 2014 again.  So that must mean something. Few men my age get me excited, and he sure does. My friends in Kingsbury remind me to be patient. That if this works out at all for me it will be in the long term and take it slow. My friend in Ireland tells me to take it slow.

SLOW DRIVES ME INSANE.  I can't walk slow, drive slow do much of anything slow..... I gotta go go go go go you know? Like the energizer bunny.

I was reading Savage Love this morning, I've been reading Dan Savage for years, he's taught me a lot. He went on to say that to make a relationship work you have to ignore the things that you don't like and focus on the ones you do. No one is perfect but one person is ok enough to make it work.   He makes a lot of sense. Any relationship is a compromise and while I'm an only child, I still manage to pull of the whole compromise thing at least half of the time.

Is it Monday again?

It's been a while since I've been moodier then the temperature.

I've also just realized that while work forces me to take 2 weeks vacation at Christmas, most of this time will be spent alone as most of the people I know already have plans or are busy during that period of time.

I should have planned myself a trip but there was too many unknowns and I hate unknowns. So like usual I painted myself into a corner and now I'm feeling down and unloved because I did that. Nothing new really.

You'd think with age and forethought things would end different but I suppose I'm crazy thinking that if I keep doing the same thing something will change.

But apparently I'm just crazy.

It's a gloomy Monday of course.

Crazier to think that my friend will find time for me on week-ends. And I believe him each time he says he will, and when he doesn't I feel all defeated. . I spent all week-end anticipating for nothing. Then on Monday I feel like a fool.  How many times can I be fooled? I'm just as gullible as when I was a kid and the adults used to make fun of me.

The other way to be is to believe nothing and think everyone is just an asshole.....

Either way it paints me like an idiot.  What kind of fool believes?  Me obviously. What a fool I am.