Is it Monday again?

It's been a while since I've been moodier then the temperature.

I've also just realized that while work forces me to take 2 weeks vacation at Christmas, most of this time will be spent alone as most of the people I know already have plans or are busy during that period of time.

I should have planned myself a trip but there was too many unknowns and I hate unknowns. So like usual I painted myself into a corner and now I'm feeling down and unloved because I did that. Nothing new really.

You'd think with age and forethought things would end different but I suppose I'm crazy thinking that if I keep doing the same thing something will change.

But apparently I'm just crazy.

It's a gloomy Monday of course.

Crazier to think that my friend will find time for me on week-ends. And I believe him each time he says he will, and when he doesn't I feel all defeated. . I spent all week-end anticipating for nothing. Then on Monday I feel like a fool.  How many times can I be fooled? I'm just as gullible as when I was a kid and the adults used to make fun of me.

The other way to be is to believe nothing and think everyone is just an asshole.....

Either way it paints me like an idiot.  What kind of fool believes?  Me obviously. What a fool I am.