Comes the Dawn

It's been a long time since I read this, and needed it today:

Comes the Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open,
With the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn...,
With every goodbye you learn.

Author Unknown

Help my friend out if you can

A friend of mine is going through a rough time.   She says:

"I've run into financial difficulty after being rejected (again) from CSST and finding myself unable to work a regular 9-5 due to my physical health limitations.

That being said - I do have a lot of skill as a photographer and a lot of art available for sale!

If you are looking for photography services or art please look though the albums to see what is available (feel free to ask for custom orders as well)

There is also a GO FUND ME campaign as well if you prefer to go though that : http://www.gofundme.com/c0n9ak

If you are unable to help out financially please share both this event and the gofundme

I can accept payments in cash, cheque, paypal, credit card or e-transfer

I appreciate all the help!"

And then it was 2

By Monday 3pm, I was alone with an old friend visiting from Ottawa, who stayed till Tuesday. We got to hang out. and talk and not do much of anything.

We had the mussel leftovers, it was just enough for a meal for two and as it turned out he hadn't sampled the mussels on Sunday.  I wanted to make French fries to accompany the mussels but it didn't happen.  There was enough mussels.

Still want to make fries with my brand new vegetable cutter, that cuts vegetables and small potatoes, and it julienne. I love juliennes.  I wonder if this would cut sweet potatoes, probably not. Maybe that's what I'm going to have for dinner tonight. French fries, cut with my brand new fry cutter.

Monday morning though I was up early and at Club Tissu in Laval so my eldest daughter could choose a sewing machine for herself. Went spent an hour or so there, she got lesson on the machine she liked and bought and that extended my membership by 3 months.  So she goes back to Halifax with a sewing machine. She may not yet get into making her own clothes, but she can use it for her crafts.

It's FRIDAY. Yes!

I messaged my friend to ask if she could help me put my canoe back on it's wooden 'horses' when she got to my place, and she asked me to turn it around so it doesn't accumulate water, which made sense.

So I went to turn it around and in doing so realized that if I just moved one end, because of how high the snow is, I was able to put the canoe back on it's horses by myself. I did it quickly before work. Tonight or tomorrow I have to go position it properly and re-wrap the tarp around it properly. But at least it's back up.
I guess it might not be as heavy as I thought it was.

And now I don't have to worry about it filling with water when it rains tomorrow and then freezing.  I do want to sell my Genuine Indian Brand canoe  this spring... so it would have sucked if it got damaged. 

I've had a 2nd date with the guy I met on POF and so far so good. I'm a happy camper.   :)

In town leading to her birthday

One of my closest friends has been visiting since Friday night. She came into Montreal to celebrate her birthday with her friends because in New Brunswick where she lives she hardly knows a soul.

We've been hanging out and being silly. Always fun to hang out. Last night she was feeling a little festive at Old Navy :)

She's also waiting for the company we both worked for and I still work for, to call her back and re-hire her. Our boss wants to but needs higher up approval and right now it's not happening. In fact I heard there were layoffs this past week so they won't hire her anytime soon. Which sucks she was really hoping to leave NB for good shortly.

For the record I didn't end up buying a thing at the Mall yesterday. But had a lot of fun looking at stuff.

Heart institute of Montreal

My friend had her ablation at the Montreal Heart Institute. It's located in the eastern part of the Montreal Island, at Viau and Belanger, which is not an area fraught with homeless people or the like.  And yet the first time we used the bathroom on the main floor next to the Emergency, we found 2 empty bottles of Black bull hiding being a toilet.

Two days later when I came to pick up my friend, I made a pit stop at the same bathroom on my way to pick up a wheelchair to take her home. Well that time, this bathroom smelled like 20 people had just had cigarettes in there.  That really got my goat. It's a HOSPITAL for HEART PATIENTS. Must you fucking smoke?  Especially when you are 10 feet from outside and you can go smoke outside?  I don't care if it was a patient. You might be fucking with your heart but what about other people?

And the last bitch I have is, yes you're in Quebec, but do you have to be rude and unwelcoming to someone who doesn't speak French?  If you have a patient refereed to your hospital from another province a little courtesy goes a long way. Saying "Speak French, we're in Quebec" is rather insensitive.   It's a fucking hospital, how about treating the patient properly. If the patient has no French, then how are you providing good care if you don't even try to help them in their language.

Other then that the procedure went well. She's all black and blue from the various catheters and tubes that were put inside her, and disoriented due to the sedation, it's giving her LSD like dreams. Other then that my friend is in good spirits and we're all keeping our fingers and toes crossed that this intervention will permit her to have a more normal life, without heart medications.

More surgery

From her wall post on Facebook, it seems my daughter's surgery went well and she is home, recovering with pain killers. Apparently they put screws in her knee and I made a stupid comment on her wall because I couldn't help myself.  [That and laughter is the best medicine]

Last night I drove my friend all the way to the Montreal Heart Institute where she is having her ablation done this morning.  She was happy I accompanied her into the Hospital for the check-in process as the person at the information desk didn't speak anything but French. The woman who checked her in didn't seem to speak much English either. She was friendly and pleasant enough despite feeling a little under pressure, because it was the first time she was filling out admission papers for an "out of province" patient. However they knew she was coming because when we arrived at the admissions desk, she asked if she was the patient from New Brunswick. I found that highly re-assuring. It meant in my mind they were expecting her and ready for her.

We stayed with my friends during the first 2 hours while they poked and prodded her. There were pre-surgery blood tests. They also put a heart monitor on, one that permits the patient to walk around on her own. We left at 8:30 because I was exhausted and I still had to drive home. I felt bad leaving her there alone, I'm sure she would have liked if her husband, son and I stayed until  they kicked us out, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to drive home, I felt I was crashing.

As I understood it, she's not the first patient they are operating on this morning, but the second patient. So they will take her sometime between 9 and 10 this morning. Thankfully I was so tired I actually slept last night, for the first time in close to a week.

Luna is a bitch!

At least that's what one of my buddies in the ADHD group says. Many of us believe he's probably right. I always have problem sleeping on nights where the moon is full. But I have problems sleeping. Gee, like a lot of other people with ADHD. 

And on nights like tonight I HATE myself. I was so tired around 8:30 last night that I lay down on my couch while watching "Corner Gas". Well I was out like a light till about midnight. You think I've been able to sleep since?  I cannot allow myself to sleep before 1 or 2 AM because otherwise I don't sleep till morning. The fact that I slept almost 4 hours means my brain isnt tired anymore. It wants to paaaaaaaartay the rest of the night. 

What's keeping me up, well.. Next Monday, my youngest daughter is having knee surgery to repair a broken ACL. That's some important ligament in the knee.  While they are fixing the ACL, they will also look to see if they can do something for her meniscus. She was supposed to have the surgery a month ago but it was delayed.  

Next Monday night I drop off my friend at the Heart Institute in Montreal. She's having an ablation done Tuesday, in hopes that it resolves the problem where her hearts beats incredibly fast. This is a problem she's was born with, and hopefully this time they will be able to fix her heart so it no longer does this. It's not healthy for your heart to be at 115 bps when at complete rest and go up to 150 bps when getting up just to use the facilities.  Which is where her heart was at for 5 days 2 weeks ago, before it was reset.  Also not something one wants to have done to their person too often. Have heart stopped and have it paddled back to function.

I'm crossing my fingers and toes, and praying that everything will go the best for both.  Thankfully, my 5 releases that were supposed to happen next week have been pushed off a week, so I can at least manage my stress a little better.