WTF is going on in the Excited States of "Murica?

I sometimes wonder about our neighbours to the south who feel very strongly about their right to bear arms (as opposed our right to bare breasts in Canada!)

Between the stupidity of bathroom laws {Personally as long as you wash your hands and don't pee on the fucking seat, I don't care which bathroom you use), people who refuse to bake goodies for people who are gay (Because GASP it offends their Christian beliefs that someone else is gay!) and the pervasive racism against blacks, I don't know that I'd ever want to move there, live there... even having them as neighbours is sometimes embarrassing. 

Don't get me started why a WHITE University kid who was caught raping an unconscious woman has his swimming scores published and he gets a slap on the wrist. A black man for the same offense might have been shot on the spot, if not condemned to years in Prison and they would have dug out every single little transgression he might have committed like getting into a fight when he was 15 for instance .

After several days where black men were shot in dubious circumstances, multiple police officers got shot in Dallas. The New Yorker had an interesting article.

Cleaning lady last day.

I couldn't handle her any more.  She's gotten either crazier or more senile with age. So we told her we no longer needed her services.

She was more involved with fattening up my cats then cleaning my house. I have been asking her for years to NOT FEED MY CATS. Pixie my older cat was beyond chubby and totally unhealthy. I hid the cat food, so would you believe she'd bring her own and stash it around my house and on cleaning day would put the equivalent of several cups of food on the floor so the cats could force feed and eat like idiots.

I spend good money in buying no grain extra good cat food and the twit was buying cheap walmart food to feed my cats.

When Izzy took Pixie home, the cleaning lady was distressed because it was her favourite cat {of course, he ate till he almost exploded} so my bf told her my daughter had him and we would be getting a kitten. She got all angry and told my bf that I should not get any more cats since I don't feed them properly!!!!

Like really? Is she my fucking mother, my sister, my father, my bf, my kids, my boss? Oh wait I HIRE YOU to clean my toilets, but you think it's ok to tell me when, with what and how to feed my cats what litter to use.She would bring litter and try to convince my bf to tell me to go and buy it?

I'm still pissed off at her but will never have to be again. I still cant' believe after I asked her repeatedly NOT TO FEED MY FUCKING CATS, that not only did she continue feeding them but brought in food to feed them.  Yep she's fucking senile. 

cauliflower was EIGHT dollars....

I like my cruciferous vegetables like the next guy but when I saw $8 for one head of cauliflower before Christmas, I was stunned.  It's crazy shit.  I suspect the price of the Canadian dollar has some impact on the price of vegetables. And if cauliflower was $8 in Montreal, it was obviously $20 in Iqaluit.  It will be some time yet when I make grilled cauliflower in the oven.

Medicated Drama Queen......

No one is the perfect parent but there's a difference between being an ok parent and being the parent from hell.  I've not always been the easiest person to deal with, but despite my shortcomings, I'm a generous, kind and caring person. I love both of my daughters, and am EXTREMELY proud of both.

You'd be amazed at the number of people I've met in my life who's parents compete with them AS ADULTS?!?!?! I understand a teen trying to compete with the parent of his gender, but for the parent to perpetuate that forever?

Both my husbands had a competitive dad. One that will never embrace their son and their son's accomplishments, because they are still too busy competing with their son. That is really pathetic. I've had several other exes with the same thing as well.

Now I just met a woman who I can tell, was jealous the minute her baby was born and the attention shifted from her to her baby. Yes it's hard when you bring a new born home, you're tired and crabby and your body aches, and everyone who comes over ooooos and awwwws over the baby.  That is NORMAL. Still competing with your 25 year old daughter isn't. You should be proud of her accomplishements, not spend all your time trying really hard to put her down.

Dunno I'm reminded of the song "The Outsider" by A Perfect Circle. THe lines "Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence.  Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence"

Tuesday on my mind

I've come to the epiphany that there was some sort of shift after I went to Toronto.  Basically things haven't been the same. And we all know how well people with ADHD deal with change. At first like a bull in a china shop. Give me a few weeks and I have adapted.  Also it's the time of the year I hate the most, the time leading to my birthday and Christmas.

That and I've had 3 viral infections, two stemming from colleague who was sick when we travelled and the last caught due to the other two. I'm still fighting the last one. My back is still twingy, I wake up and I have so much congestion, you'd think it was allergy season.

I've been an emotional basketcase needing support. I can't seem to face work today. Yesterday was so dismal, I hid at my desk most of the day. Today, I'm going to stay home in hopes that rest will make me better.

Of course the two episodes of cold sores in my right nostril did nothing good, and when I go through outbreaks of herpes it puts me in a vile mood. I've been ignoring this fact but it keeps reminding me.

As for my friend, he was sick all week-end. Why he couldn't text me he wasn't well, I dunno. I guess that's what I need to get across. He means well.  And apparently whether that makes me an idiot or not is left for others to figure out but I really do like him.  I did figure out I'd rather see him once a month then ever see the asshole from May 2014 again.  So that must mean something. Few men my age get me excited, and he sure does. My friends in Kingsbury remind me to be patient. That if this works out at all for me it will be in the long term and take it slow. My friend in Ireland tells me to take it slow.

SLOW DRIVES ME INSANE.  I can't walk slow, drive slow do much of anything slow..... I gotta go go go go go you know? Like the energizer bunny.

I was reading Savage Love this morning, I've been reading Dan Savage for years, he's taught me a lot. He went on to say that to make a relationship work you have to ignore the things that you don't like and focus on the ones you do. No one is perfect but one person is ok enough to make it work.   He makes a lot of sense. Any relationship is a compromise and while I'm an only child, I still manage to pull of the whole compromise thing at least half of the time.

Is it Monday again?

It's been a while since I've been moodier then the temperature.

I've also just realized that while work forces me to take 2 weeks vacation at Christmas, most of this time will be spent alone as most of the people I know already have plans or are busy during that period of time.

I should have planned myself a trip but there was too many unknowns and I hate unknowns. So like usual I painted myself into a corner and now I'm feeling down and unloved because I did that. Nothing new really.

You'd think with age and forethought things would end different but I suppose I'm crazy thinking that if I keep doing the same thing something will change.

But apparently I'm just crazy.

It's a gloomy Monday of course.

Crazier to think that my friend will find time for me on week-ends. And I believe him each time he says he will, and when he doesn't I feel all defeated. . I spent all week-end anticipating for nothing. Then on Monday I feel like a fool.  How many times can I be fooled? I'm just as gullible as when I was a kid and the adults used to make fun of me.

The other way to be is to believe nothing and think everyone is just an asshole.....

Either way it paints me like an idiot.  What kind of fool believes?  Me obviously. What a fool I am. 

Gaslighting?

If I had a penny for every time someone told me I was over reacting or when someone tells me to relax or says things to make me think I'm crazy. Well, it's a phenomenon most women are aware of, and the word gaslight appears to be correct. Check this article.

Yep have often been labelled all sorts of things

I've also been told that my feelings weren't relevant, or that they were misplaced. Interesting blog entry here. 

I have been known to say that the women who chase after me are crazy, and I don't mean it in the same way as in the above article. The ones that I've had problems with have had bi-polar disorder and borderline personality disorder.