I'm broken, but I'll have a nice wardrobe!

One of the few things I can usually do when I am barely functional is sew. I can do it for a few hours a day and at least it stops my mind from spiraling out of control for a few hours.

This dress I finished before the downward spiral hit. The print of the fabric is nothing special and most don't care for it. However it is the softest nicest rayon knit I have ever owned. This was a designer fabric at Club Tissu I bought for myself as a birthday present. Originally $30 something per meter, got it 40% off. Still an expensive dress. But I LOVE how it feels.

These photos were taken by my friend Nina. Note, the lighting wasn't good and I didn't let her edit them. I don't care, I just want to showcase the sewing.

Simplicity 1804 with soft rayon knit

The others have been made since I have been hiding at home. The blue number is awesome. I have the same print on both a knit and a woven denim style fabric. I've used this print already on a number of items, but this dress just rocks. I suspect it will be a favourite camping.

This dress was started last summer. I finished it in hopes it would help bring spring. HA

McCalls M6074 with a summery rayon knit

This next one is a soft rayon woven, I've been heavily into knits but this fabric with it's purple and pinks, reminiscent of my garage....

NewLook 6121

This one I started months ago, reminds me of many of the dresses I had in the 60's.The front bodice and sleeves are made of a stretch sateen and the skirt and back are made from a cotton print.

Simplicity 3833

Then there's the faux snakeskin dress. Don't care much for the fabric or the print, but wanted to try out a pattern. I finished this one today and wore it to therapist appointment.

McCalls M6958

This nightshirt was made from a Butterick pattern I had back in the late 80's early 90's.

Flannel nightshirt .

I'm a total basketcase

While I'm trying to formulate how to put things into words all I can hear is the toc-ing of a woodpecker.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to process but I haven't been at work all last week. Could not. I'd get as far as getting dressed packing a lunch and then turning back.  My uncle's death triggered something, not sure what.

I hadn't been able to cry. Not until this morning.  I have cried now 3 times. Once was brought upon chatting with my Lebanese ex, once was brought upon  chatting with my Irish buddy, and the last was reading a sweet email from my boss from last Thursday telling me to take it easy and not stress out over fact I'm not at work.

The crying it was a start but it's not enough. Is there something horrible in my childhood associated with my uncle. I don't think so. Nothing comes to mind. I liked my uncle. Always have. I don't know him well, since he was around the least when i was a child, but the few memories I have of him are good. It's memories I have with my cousins.. some aren't so good. Maybe this is what my uncle's death is triggering, a bad memory with one of my cousins?  Something beyond fact my female cousin is always a mean bitch to me.

Thankfully seeing my therapist tomorrow. hopefully this will shed some light on where the fuck I'm stuck. because this is beyond being an emotional baskketcase. I can't talk to most people. Can't get out of my house or out of my head much.

It's sad when I don't even want to leave the house for retail therapy. I could use retail therapy. Not clothes so much as fabrics [ All the cupros and all the silks ], shoes, value village....

Cute cute cute

The thing that makes me smile the most is my kitten!

You can hang out with laptop, I'm going to sleep

hmmmm

HI MOM! I want breakfast!!!!

Weeeeeeeeee tissue paper!

Broken

I have not been physically well since some time last week, between the cold sores and the flu like symptoms for sure I was fighting something.

But it's my mind that has been broken. Since the news of my uncles death, I have been in a place I hadn't been since my dad's death. I've been struggling with my dad's death now for over 12 years and I thought I was making progress, but this has spiralled me back years in terms of processing.

That's the problem is that I am not processing emotions anymore. I feel over whelmed all I want to do is to hibernate and be alone.

I have slept more the past 5 days then I've slept the past year!  Me sleeping a lot usually signifies I'm not well in one way or another.Not sure when I'm seeing my therapist next but I could so see him today. Maybe I'll message and see.

I've barely been eating, have no interest in food. It's hard. Usually when I'm this low I have had a significant other who makes sure I get fed. Right now I'm not really paying that good attention. I'm trying to eat 3 times a day, but one day that meant I had 4 eggs and a few crackers with cheese.

I've always had a hard time eating when I'm upset and processing or trying to process emotions. I feel like such a basket-case today.The worst part is that it's 8:15. I was ready to leave for work at 8. I had bathed, brushed my teeth, even gotten dressed, and got into the truck and well that was all the energy I had.

I laughed so hard

Took a picture of my Desert Lynx this morning and with his ears back he looks like he has curled ears just like a Highland Lynx cat.

Desert Lynx meme

My Messy desk

I was reading an article not too long ago about how messy desk is a sign of a creative mind. Well this is my desk:

My desk in March 2015

Close up on the things on my desk...

Yes among the things on my desk includes hand cream, spice mixture to put on potatoes, buckley's cough drops, tetley earl grey decaf tea, white out, a dollar store ball, that lights up when bumped a certain way, pills for back spasms, mouse, pens, sticky notes, highlighters, various USB cables, a USB hub, earbuds, several hard disks.... and that's just looking at the photo :) 

 

On this gloomy first day of Spring

I want to wish my eldest a Happy Birthday, where ever she is sailing today!

The obituary

The obituary for my mom's brother, my uncle Richard.  I'm feeling all discombobulated today.

and he's gone

My uncle left this world this morning around 5:20am. He was close to 80 years old. He had a good life.

Mr Cab Driver....

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not fond of Taxi's.

Don't like the drivers, who almost always drive like assholes. Don't like the attitude of most male taxi drivers, and apparently Montreal has had numerous cases of women sexually assaulted by taxi drivers, and it's been kept HUSH HUSH?!?!?!

One of the last times I took a taxi, I was coming from the Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport in Dorval.  When I got into the car I told the guy I was going to Pierrefonds. I had to stop him from taking the 20 towards downtown.  Then when he realized he wasn't going downtown he drove as slow as possible the entire way back to my place he was surly and he charged me more then the meter said and would not take no for an answer. He asked me for more then I had on me. I went into the house and I had some change in quarters and Loonies, and let me tell you he got paid in the smallest coins I had and I did not hand them to him, I dumped it on his front seat and ran back into the house.

You can find the odd article about it, but the taxi bureau ridicules women who complain. That tells me that WOMEN should not take taxis alone or alternatively, we should do like in Beirut. Have a taxi run by women, driven by women and only FOR women.  This way we'd be less likely to be sexually assaulted.

This woman as per this article, says she is suing because she got assaulted and the driver who assaulted her was suspected in another assault and to this day he still drives a cab!!!!

And for fun including one of my favourite Lenny Kravitz songs.

Happy St Patricks day!

Everyone is Irish on St Patricks day. What's not so cool is that the Irish weren't treated any better then blacks in the US. In fact in some cases, the Irish were slaves too.

Here's one article about the real Irish-American story.

New black dress

 Sunday I made a new dress using a favourite, Butterick 5313. Completely from one end to another. I have like at least 12 dresses cut out but not sewn but wasn't feeling any of them. So I made this one from soft Rayon, so it feels like awesome to wear

In bois de liesse Monday

We know cats are assholes

Realized that it was my female cat setting off the dog. Got to love button pushers even animals do it.

Ziva on dog patrol. Keeps an eye out for dog, bullies and runs it out of rooms when it finds dog!

Cats are assholes

so today I was trying to take photos of up coming sewing projects, and of course after I placed all the fabrics and patterns on the bed, 3 of my 4 cats decided to go investigate. When I got back with phone, this was what I saw.

Cats photo bombing my upcoming sewing projects

Then again the other morning, I had the ity bitty kitty committee in my room as well.  I think they are hiding from the dog. But the dog has been grumpy anyways.

The dog brooding in the other bedroom: It's a hard life. 

Bloke that sews...

I'm not sure why not more men sew to be honest. Tailors are generally men.  My grandpa, old school, would be be 105 today were he still be alive, had some basic sewing skills. He worked for several years on merchant boats going between Montreal and the various ports along the great lakes. He could be gone several months at a time. So before he left my grandma showed him how to hem, fix unsewn items, put back on buttons and even change a zipper. A skill he still used in his 60's.

My last bf had good sewing skills too. He was the first man I'd met in a long time that could sew.

This dude made the news in the UK for his mad sewing skills

STOP! You! Yes you with the big ass SUV

I take Kingsley most days to get to Sunnybrooke.  I've noticed the past 2 or 3 weeks that a police van hides on Sonata and nails people for speeding in a school zone and for not stopping at the various stop signs. From the spot the police hides on Sonata, they can observe 2 stops and 3 school zones.

This morning I was coming from Spring Garden, onto Kingsley and as I approached the stop on the corner of Sonata, I saw the police Van chase a car that had stopped very little. What blew my mind is despite the police car following the SUV, the person kept driving. Finally stopping on Sunnybrooke, right after the stop sign. A horrible place to stop given the traffic on Sunnybrooke.

Most of the time when I see the police van chase someone or catch someone it's between Sonata and Saturn, or even between Saturn and Sunnybrooke but closer to Saturn.

I happened to witness the first interaction between the young male police officer, sexy in his camouflage protest pants, and the middle aged fur coat wearing, privileged woman. If I had been able to hear I'm sure he chewed her out for not stopping when he first went behind her. I mean who did she think he was chasing? His tail? There was no one else on the road in front of her.  If he was going for some emergency he would have just barreled around her.

Oh if I had been able to take a photo of him giving her hell, I would have loved it.

Anyways it made my morning, because there are way too many "privileged" people in the west Island who think they own the road.  Of course if I hadn't let 2 bunches of pedestrians, [one bunch who waved at me thankfully] cross Spring Garden before I turned on Kingsley I would not have witnessed this spectacle!

Skating in a forest?

Le domaine de la foret perdue is roughly two hours from Montreal and located in the Trois Rivieres area. There you can find the labyrinth which encompasses twelve kilometers of skating path, that meanders through a forest

The cost for adults to go skating is fourteen dollars  per day.  They have skate and snowshoe rentals, there are also farm animals that can be observed and fed.  Sounds like a wonderful place to spend the day with friends or children.

Lovely walk in the forest yesterday...

Selfie taken with timer on phone

It felt like spring. For the first time in 2015, I was outside and I was WARM!!!  Heck it's about 6 or 7C and I'm wearing no hat, no mitts, and my coat is open, no scarf. I walked like this with open coat no hat. Usually I wait till about 12 to be able to do it. But it was so consistently cold this winter, that anything above 0 seems warm.

In direct from Quebec.

Hadn't heard about them until I saw it shared from one of my former interns, from Ecole de Technologie Superieur [ETS] but I think the river turbine is a great idea.   To quote the website of company who makes them:

"Combining Quebec’s expertise in hydroelectricity, aluminum and renewable energy, Idénergie has successfully developed the first solution to easily generate electricity from the natural flow of a river. Since its inception, significant efforts have been made in order to overcome technical challenges related to the production of electricity under water. Idénergie has been recognized by various public and private entities for the quality of its project. It will now join solar panels and wind turbines in the growing residential renewable energy market."

My SuperFit boots

I got my winter boots on sale at the Rubino warehouse at Galeries des Sources back in late October or early November. I remember wearing the first time when I went to Toronto in mid November, with no regrets as it was incredibly cold two of the days we were there.

The brand is Superfit, never heard of them before but I liked the boot, the price and the colour. From what I gather they are a Canadian brand and they specialize in making footwear for cold temperatures.

I can't say I wore any other pair of boots most of the winter. Never once were my feet cold.  This is the boots after being worn all December, January and February, some of November and some of March. I'm very pleased with them.

The amusing thing is that when I went to Rubino with my friend when she was looking for winter boots, the salesgirl who helped her out, had the nerve to dis my boots, saying they were the worst piece of crap they sold and they wouldn't last the winter. Talk about stupid. You don't dis merchandise you sell! Especially not to someone who bought them from your store just a week or two earlier.

2015 might not be a good year for my mom's siblings.

My mom has been gone since 1999, but both of her siblings are still alive. At least at the latest news but it might not be long. My mom was born in 1933, my aunt was most likely born in 1931, and my uncle in 1936 or 1937.  That makes my aunt 84 and my uncle not quite 80.

When I saw my broker, he mentioned he hasn't seen my aunt in 2 years because she isn't well enough to discuss her finances, and today I received a Facebook message from one of my cousins to say his dad is in his last miles.  It's sad, and I guess I am bracing myself to receive phone call about their passing on.

I don't remember last time I saw either. My mom hadn't been on good terms with her brother and his wife, except perhaps the last year of her life, and though she did spend time with my aunt, she always had issues with her.  I have my own issues with my aunt, and we don't get along that well, we're too alike.

I sometimes forget that I'm 50ish, so it's not surprising that my aunt and uncle are getting older. 

Today we SPRING forward.. WOOT

Uhm. Not really.  Daily savings time is a whole crock. Not sure who it saves daylight for but changing time twice a year is a real pain in the ass!

The old St Bernard school in DDO

It was changed school board so probably no longer has a Catholic school name. But this used to be my daughter's elementary school when they were children.

All the cute snow sculptures had caught my attention the several other times I'd passed in front of the school in the past 2 weeks.

What a day!

Yesterday gave me a scare.  I went for walk in bois de liesse on lieu of lunch though i went around 3. It was beautiful. It's been so cold past 2 months Ive missed walking outside.

 

Later around 4:30 when I was getting my purse looked into by security before leaving work I noticed my wallet was missing.  I ran back to my desk and did not find it.

Then I ran to my Suzuki to search it... no wallet. So I start to drive home. On Kingsley on DDO, there are 2 stops in front of thr school, and while I do stop sometimes the police see it differently.  So I stop and go and notice the police car after going and I think..."fuck! He's going to nail me", and thinking without any papers, as they are all in my wallet. 

 

But no thankfully he did not follow me and I made it home unscathed. Run into house to look for wallet on the dining room table where my purse was in the morning. Still no wallet. By then Im freaking out.  I go back into the garage to look more in the truck from diffferent angles, still no wallet, and as I am going around my truck, see my wallet all soggy from having been in a puddle.

So grateful to have found it. Moreso the wallet itself is a gift from my friend in abu dhabi and I would have been so upset to have lost it, never mind the drivers license,  medicare card, credit cards and all sorts of misellaneous store cards.

Hopefully today is less eventful.

People suck!

I don't mean that in a sexual way or a good way.  Lots of people on this earth are selfish narcissistic assholes. One of the New Delhi rapists, the one who was driving the bus was interviewed about his predicament, and he clearly puts the blame on women for being raped. She was out of her house past 9 pm.  She fought back? Now all women who are raped in New Delhi will be killed because of the bigger penalties he says. He also says it's all the woman's fault for being raped.

I still think in countries where rape is rampant, curfews should be put on males. After all they do the raping!  The view that a woman was asking for it, just drives me batty.  Like saying just because you breathe you deserve to be raped.

Suggestions for avoiding rape include dressing more conservatively, not flirting, staying home etc... Like WHAT THE FUCK?  Have they read statistics, men rape for POWER. They don't care if you're pretty, or sexy or young, or  what have you. Women are raped at all time of the day, NOT JUST AT NIGHT, like everyone would have us believe.  It was still light outside when I was raped.

People suck also because they are judgmental assholes.  It's like they think that people going through financial difficulties should not live. Before people give others help they judge them, and decide if they are worthy of help.

Even people going through a rough time need some form of entertainment, otherwise how the fuck do you expect them to get through the rough time.   A steady diet of austerity combined with depression and other hardships isn't going to help the person get out of their miserable situation. Occasionally you need a pick me up.  Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture and not just at an immediate situation.  You have to look at the sacrifices they made in one aspect of their life so that they may indulge a little bit from time to time, even when going through a more difficult period.

Most of my friends are going through financial hardships. My buddy in Ottawa, my friends in the townships, my friend who is living with me, my Lebanese Ex hubby,  my friend in Ireland..... I don't' judge them. I don't start looking for fleas... "Oh she went out Friday night, she can't really be struggling".   Yeah she went out, and had 1 drink that her friend paid. And you're going to judge her for that?  She should stay home and cry because she is broke?  Or he's having beef for dinner he can't possibly be broke, but you don't know he has a farmer friend that gives him meat in exchange for services rendered. And you're going to judge him for that? Or worse they smoke cigarettes or weed, and people expect them to stop cold turkey because stopping those activities are going to be enough to make ends meet? Seriously?

It's always easy calling the kettle black, but sometimes the pot should look at itself closely. Perhaps the pot is just as black and acting like a complete douche canoe!. Or in French we like to say you notice the straw in your friends eye but not the beam in your own..  "On voit la paille dans l'oeil de son voisin, mais pas la poutre  dans le sien " 

New bikini...

I was looking on American Eagle Outfitters website to see if it was worth going to a store to try on some bathing suits and spotted this little number in a colour they call sugar palm. It was only available online, and was reduced in price. So I took a leap of faith. I have to thank the woman in the review who says that normally AOE are true to size, but this one was too small in small. I ordered both in Medium and the fit is perfect. I agree with the woman, it is made very small.

Not only does it fit perfectly, and so much better then last years bikini, but matches a dragonfly wrap I picked up at value village a few months back. So pining for summer at this point.  I want it to be warm enough to be comfortable wearing just the bikini, or with the see through wrap around it :)

In canada, you're way more likely to be killed by a Moose, than by a terror plot!

Miso soup for lunch

This has been a favourite for weeks.  I love the Mishima miso Soup mix. They have multiple flavours, like white, red, mixed and spicy.  I haven't found the spicy in a while, but a tablespoon of the Louisiana hot sauce makes my miso soup as spicy as I like it.

Second dress I make in 2015

On Sunday I finished this Rayon dress that I had started sometime in January:

Butterick 3437 from the 1990's

My phone captured the purple as being greyish but the fabric looks like the photo with the pattern.  It's a really comfortable dress. Very happy with it. May add an elastic to make the empire waist more fitting

Sleepy time

A few hours later the bed was more interesting then the laundry basket. ...

.

Do  you realize this is a Queen bed? He's a long little guy...

Look at me!

He wanted to be laundered today. Don't think it will happen buddy... Just sayin...

Coldest February on Record for Quebec, and Montreal

I normally like winter, but this winter has been harsh. It wasn't just snowy, it was cold. Very cold. Coldest  on record, and also it was one of the coldest places globally this year so far.

We're all sick of the cold. it's sad when -10 C appears to be warm

Fuck you & your shoes & your cat toys!

I ended up falling asleep early last night which is never good. I was awaken by something around 4 am. At which point Toby decided to come and check out if I was awake.  I got up to walk the 3feet to my ensuite bathroom and managed to slip on a cat toy and fall. At 4am I thought it was cat puke because it felt cold and slippery. But no, it was a piece of cardboard attached to a string that has just the right amount of plastic to make it a weapon of mass disruption. 

As it turned out I did not fall in a symmetrical way so most of the impact was absorbed by my left butt cheek. I'm sure there will be a spectacular bruise there later today.  I also managed to hit the accordion door to my bathroom along my spine.  I cant recall what obscenity I muttered.

If this had happened in a slapstick comedy,  or cartoon, it might have elicited lots of laughs. I'm sure the dafuck expression on my face was priceless. I can be highly expressive especially when I'm upset.

It's 2 hours later and I still feel battered.  I wonder if my cats are out to get me.  Last night I was holding and petting Toby and he heard a sound, that scared the fuck out of him so he left nasty  scratch marks on my arm and belly. I also yelled some obscenities then that I can't remember either.

I thought I might have a week-end where I could actually go skating because my back stopped twinging on Monday. But no, like a cat, I am acting like I meant for it to happen, and sitting in my bed licking my wounds. 

Ziva and Toby play footsies at the foot of the bed.

Getting itchy feet, want to TRAVEL!!!

Earlier this evening I watched 2 documentaries. One was from 2011 done just around the time the Burj Khalifa was set to open. I'd seen it in 2007, just partly done. It is still as we speak the tallest building in the world.

Part of me is disappointed because I never got to see it finished and I doubt I will ever travel to Dubai again, part of me knows I hate heights and elevators and I'm not sure I'd want to go to one of the viewpoints where the view is spectacular.  The building sets fear in me. However it is still an engineering feat. Since the documentary was produced in Dubai of course they showed everything going perfectly planned. It amuses me to no end having been there.

The other documentary I watched was on Petra.   I would still love to go back and spend a minimum of a week wandering around the Petra site, choosing a different area of this old Nabateaen city every day.  While I had read a fair amount about Petra around the time I visited it, I still learned much from this documentary. It is spectacular what a desert nomadic tribe accomplished that long ago in terms of both architecture and plumbing considering Petra is in a desert that is one of the driest places on Earth.

Since going in 2010 to Petra, a short 3 hours, where we tried to see and absorb the most, at least when they showed all the different areas of the old city I could recognize the buildings and the tombs. Also since I've always been fascinated by old buildings and architecture, it was interesting to see how all the different styles from the Romans, the Egyptians and the Assryrians, all blended into one to make a unique style for the Nabateaens.

While I want to go back and visit Petra, I was thinking I couldn't just go to Jordan at this point, with all the conflict in the region just to visit. If I went to Jordan, the only thing I could see myself doing in good conscience would be to go offer my services, whatever I have to offer to the Syria refugee camps that are undoubtedly occupying most of the bordering territory between Jordan and Syria.  I could not visit one of the worlds oldest wonders and not feel the suffering of the millions of displaced Syrians, and also the Iraqis.  How humans can do this to one another escapes me.

Submit your claim

If you had PC equipment back then you can submit a claim and get $20 no questions asked. IF you still have receipts you could claim more!

Coolest thing I saw today

This has to be one of the coolest things I've seen in a while actually. A bicycle powered RV for one.

Looks like a neat idea has small footprint.

Google takes no chances with people now.

Last August I saw the google car in front of where I work and stood there as it rolled by and even took a shot of the car as it went by. 

This morning for fun I looked in front of company on street view, and the parking lot shows I just arrived, as my Suzuki is one of the last cars parked, but the image they have for the sidewalk of the building is from 2011, where there is no one walking.

I guess after all the complaints they have from people, those at google edit out any random person left in their images. Besides I guess it makes for a better image for people to see details if there isn't a bunch of people walking around.

I am a Trichophiliac

Everyone who knows me know I LOVE long hair, especially on men, but also on women too. Though I've found all sorts of short-haired women attractive, men have to be particularly soft featured  and sweet for me to find them hot with short hair.

I know one of my first favourite songs from my early childhood was "Comme un garcon" But as it turns out it wasn't about a Boy with long hair, but about a girl being a long haired boy. Which works for me just as well, I'm not a typical female and being told girls don't do that never has stopped me.

I know I was crushing on long haired boys at 12, in grade 7. I liked the boy that looked like "Hyde" on the 70s show. He had a giant mop of frizzy hair that went below his shoulders, I think his name was Gary, and sadly he was a giant douche with no respect for women, but he looked hot with his hair.  In my teens I crushed on a lot of boys with what I would now call a 70's mop. Hair that's just long enough to be wild, and messy. And I love it moreso if it's wavy.

I think I like long haired men because to be honest, none of the men who hurt me physically in my childhood had anything but crew cuts.  Short hair, suits and uniforms are almost a trigger for me. Meeting a man for the first time, and he's wearing a suit, is an absolute way for me to never see that person in a sexual way. That is undoubtedly my biggest turn-off.    I have no problem with women dressed in a suit, just men. 

Just like I have a thing for blue-collars or working class men. Not a big fan of professionals, who again often wear suits. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but overall suits just make me uncomfortable.  I suppose there is also the added fact that suits is very traditional and conformist. I am still at 50+ quite rebellious and probably less conformist then when I was younger.  Ask me if I care that women my age don't do what I do?

Yes I'm well aware that just because a guy has long hair doesn't make him a nice person. There are psychopaths and sociopaths of every type. Still to this day I've had better interactions with long haired fellers then short haired ones.

When I meet a guy with hair beyond a certain length all I want to do is play in their hair. So many of my friends and lovers have indulged me in that.  I could just pass my fingers through their locks for hours.

I have to say I miss my last ex-bf's hair. He had spectacular hair.  As seen in the photo below..

Taken on the top of "le mont du lac des Cygnes"

Last year my friend added me to a group called "Long haired men" and it's been better then porn for me. On days where I'm needing a little pick me up, I go into the group and can see photos of long haired men from all over the world. From the 20' somethings, to men older then me.   It puts a smile on my face.  Tight jeans and long hair.  Perfect image to put me in a happy place. 

Wonder where he's at?

The summer I was 19, I met I think at the Sunshine Campground in Rawdon, in their recreation room. where they had a few video game machines, a jukebox, a few pool tables.. a  young man who was a few years older then me.

We met a few days after he'd had a serious injury where he'd almost lost his life. He'd gone through a glass door, with his right arm, and there was a huge cut, that required lots of stitches.  And I'm remembered that particular night, the poor paramedic that was serving Rawdon, had first a suicide attempt of a guy he knew, that he had to rush to the hospital. No sooner then he'd left him at the hospital, he gets a call about another guy needing to get to the hospital and also in critical condition. And the worse thing is that my friend was high on acid that night.  So the stuff he said to the paramedic made the poor guy really all freaked out.

So when he and I met we were in a detox stage in our lives. I was living with my aunt in Rawdon  to get away from the city, and it's negative influences. I hadn't realized that even small downs like Rawdon, had people party heavy. Perhaps more so then in the city because youth are isolated by a bigger distance without hardly any practical public transport. Rawdon at the time was the only place I knew that actually carded teens buying alcohol

 At the time in Montreal at the local depanneur, I was buying beer  every night the summer I was 17. I would buy the big bottle which is like 2 1/2 beers. I'd go sit under a giant willow tree on the edge of the Riviere des prairies and drink it before going home, hiding my empty inside my jacket, so I could use it to get my next one the next night. Heck I started buying cigarettes at 13 or 14. Was never once carded.

So I met Rocco Altobelli a couple of nights after his accident. My friend and neighbour knew him and his friend, so we played pool together.  I was a newbie, and he couldn't use his right hand at all because of the cast/bandage.  So it was like he was new in terms of reflexes but he knew how to play. It made it fun for me to learn since I actually could legitimately win.  Both his 2 friends and him took a liking to me, but I took a shine to him. He was really friendly and could talk to anyone,  he was also shy and introverted and he had lost boy eyes.  

Of all the "Italian" descent men I dated he was the most awesome.  I'm sad he stopped seeing me because he didn't want to hold me back and he didn't think he would fit in my world. I'd love to know what came of him. At the time I knew him he lived with his folks in Greenfield park or was it Ville LeMoyne. It was definitely near the Lemoyne hospital. He had family that had  a little summer cottage in Rawdon.

We spent one summer dating, but on a platonic level. The next summer, we became lovers. I wonder what became of him.  He was blond haired, blue-eyed, tall and lanky. He didn't speak any Italian but liked to boast that his last name meant that we was tall and handsome.

The Torch Tower in Dubai Torched!

When I read that it was in the Dubai Marina, I read the article. and the minute I saw the article I knew which tower it was, and where it was located in the Dubai Marina. One of the rare places you can take a stroll in Dubai is along the Dubai Marina, at least in the winter months, where it's quite pleasant.

The last time I visited my Lebanese hubby in Dubai, while he worked during the day, I would sometimes wander to the Dubai Marina for lunch at the Rupee room. I remember the time I ordered the spicy eggplant curry. The waiter tells me it's pretty spicy hot, I tell him bring it on.  Well he brings me my meal and I notice that all the waiters, are all standing in a line watching me take my first bite.  As if to say "Watch the white woman with the red hair, she's going to be calling for water, or to have her dish changed". Three of them had a water pitcher in their hand. Their eggplant curry was divine. Just hot enough, and when it got a bit too hot, I'd take a bite of rice to cool down my mouth. After I'd eaten 3-4 bites and not even touched my water, I watched them all disperse. 

After my lunch, I'd sit in the Dubai Marina on one of the benches, and watch the people go buy. From the ex-pat Brits, to the Emiratis, and every nationality in between. There was a fair amount of Filipinos and east Asians working in the food industry and the Marina walk is scattered with restaurants and cafes, both local endeavours and chains like Johnny Rockets.

I've also been known to sketch, while I was in Dubai and the only building I sketched while sitting in the Dubai Marina, was the Torch tower.

Help my friend out if you can

A friend of mine is going through a rough time.   She says:

"I've run into financial difficulty after being rejected (again) from CSST and finding myself unable to work a regular 9-5 due to my physical health limitations.

That being said - I do have a lot of skill as a photographer and a lot of art available for sale!

If you are looking for photography services or art please look though the albums to see what is available (feel free to ask for custom orders as well)

There is also a GO FUND ME campaign as well if you prefer to go though that : http://www.gofundme.com/c0n9ak

If you are unable to help out financially please share both this event and the gofundme

I can accept payments in cash, cheque, paypal, credit card or e-transfer

I appreciate all the help!"

Far less angry

This is a general thing. Not how I feel after driving in rush hour in DDO and Pierrefonds. Don't even get me started on the traffic today.

However what I mean is that in general since I made a conscious effort to not get angry at things I have no control over, I'm far less angry. I've also made peace with events from my past, and I'm thinking about blogging about them. Putting it out in the open.  The bullying,  the hurtful things that happened.

At the end of my last therapy session, my therapist said he learned more about me that day then in the 4 prior years. He also said that I am incredibly well adjusted knowing all this. 

So I am far less angry overall. I still blow up and boil over and get all bent out of shape over the most stupid things, but I no longer really dwell.  This has affected the music I listen to.  I've been listening to far less angry music. I still love NIN and Rage against the Machine, but the past couple of weeks, if not even months, I've been heavily into the doors, and Riders on the storm.   I just get lost in the music. You'd think Id be bored of it... but most days no..

I have cool memories associated with this song from various decades too. I mean there was my decadent late teens, and then there was my late 20's. I remember driving down the 40 into a ginormous harvest moon, probably going between 160-180 with a friend in his green Beretta.  I associate it with the movie "no one gets out of here alive" that I saw years after I read the book. 

Other songs that lately I must listen to, Moby Porcelain. I hadn't listened to that in easily 10 years, add some  Coldplay, Syntax, and Jesus Jones and that's what mostly is lighting me up.

On a completely unrelated subject, today I ended up talking with one of the hardware guys who is native of Lebanon but hasn't visited in over 20 years.  We talked about the places in Lebanon I'd visited, the places I'd gone in Syria and Jordan, about the geopolitical situation, the people of the middle east, including him tossing the odd arab word, many of whom I would instantly recognize. He told me by the time we finished our conversation that I was very incredibly well informed on the middle east. I was thinking it was mostly through absorbing though my Lebanese hubby's eyes.  But then I realized that the comment I made about ISIS/ISIL today was definitely an opinion I'd formed alone. I think I commented that this group was just a more backwards form of Wahhabism. .

I've hated my lenovo laptop since I got it

I've been wanting to reformat it and start fresh. After being forwarded this article by a friend who knows I have a Lenovo laptop, I'm definitely REFORMATTING it tonight.

I've hardly used it for surfing the web, mostly I've used it as a television.

Well tonight, it's getting a version of Windows 7, and I will only be installing drivers, not even the software accompanying drivers.

Addiction!

This article makes so much sense. 

Not sure I posted the first article a few weeks back that questions the way we handle drug addiction and also the "War on drugs". Making those behaviours punishable by law, when the only thing the person is doing is drugging themselves is useless in terms of prevention.

This makes me rethink my complete alcohol denial and maybe at least try to drink once responsibly before deciding for good that I should continue never drinking.

My only accomplishment

I made potato and chickpea curry today while I stayed home and felt miserable.  The only cutting was for the potatoes and onions. This is really easy dish to make when not feeling well. Put tons of cayenne in it too so my stomach handles all the stupid muscle relaxants I've been taking for my back.

Again with the twingie

Last night and this morning my back is twingie again but with a twist. Now I have shooting pain from the twingie part of my back down my left leg. After last year where I decided a little back ache wouldn't stop me from working and I was in bed more then a week, I'm taking it easy. Today I'm staying home. Took 2 muscle relaxants, which I should have taken last night before bed,  and going to lie down part of the day. Not sure why it's my left leg. I drive with my right leg...

Panasonic ESED90P Ladies Wet and Dry Epilator/Shaver

I ordered it on Amazon on February 3rd and it arrived on February the 13th. Given they had none in stock and had no clue when they would have stock, I was pretty pleased with it's timely arrival.

My main reason for buying it is that I have been getting nasty rashes shaving. Usually days 2-3-4 after shaving. It was suggested that I may be less prone to rashes if I were to use an electric shaver.

So after a month of checking out various models, I opted for the Panasonic ESE090P. I wasn't here on Friday when it arrived, so I opened the box on Sunday dinner time, after I got home.

I decided to try it around 11pm after spending time on Skype with my buddy in Otttawa. It was easy to use, but 30 minutes after I was finished both legs were rashed. Thankfully, not touching them at all or reacting to the itching meant that this morning both legs looked fine, rash gone, and it's a close shave.

So this might actually work for me. As the name implies you can use the shaver in the shower, but I doubt I'll ever do that in the 3 showers I take a year. The trauma of taking a shower is enough to make me inept to shave. For those who don't know me, I do bathe daily. I just don't like showers, or having water fall on me. I also don't like being out in the rain much. It's a texture/tactile issue. I'm fine being immersed in water, moreso if the water is the right temperature.

Beautiful Sunny day

Today was a beautiful sunny day. I left the townships around 3:15, gassed at the Petro-T in Drummondville, and drove straight home. The 55's passing lane did have a bit of snow in some parts of the left most side, but the  right lane was clear. The 20 was clear the whole way as was the 30. A bit of wind and drifting snow in some areas but nothing compared to my drive down.

I arrived home at 5:30, and pulled straight in the garage. Toby did not say meow the entire trip home. He slept, with his face near the exit of the cage. I always put it so that he can see me and he knows I'm with him.  He was found sleeping earlier in his usual spot at this time in the evening. Jethro and Pixie greeted him, Ziva hissed, sniffed him and told him he smelled funny. Females!

I didn't mention that I went to Rockaberry on Sources, on Wednesday night. I went to meet a new POF guy. I hope, the first and the only for 2015.  This new one messaged me the Wednesday before, and I responded the morning before leaving for my interviews at ETS downtown. We exchanged around 15 emails that day, starting with silly banter and ending with much deeper and intellectual topics. By the end I was actually wanting to meet him. Usually it takes me a week or two online to feel out someone. However what kept me from the impulsivity was my sore back.  It wasn't well enough before Wednesday to attempt meeting anyone.

We met around 7pm, I decided at 9:30 to put a 10pm end to the meeting otherwise we would have talked all night. I got a good feeling, like this one might be a friend for a very long time. He actually speaks my language.  Time will tell as is usual with such things.We're still exchanging emails but nothing like the frenzy of the first day.

My back is still a bit stiff but I can still bounce around a room, and that is a good thing. My back stays stiff too if I don't move around enough. Another few days and it should be fine. Just have to make sure not to lift much this week at work.

Fifty shades of Unimpressed

You have to be living under a rock to not have heard about the book and now the movie "50 shades of Grey".   I don't tend to buy into the hype, and was never particularly tempted to read 50 shades of grey and the likelihood I see it in the movie theatre, given that I'm already not a fan of going to the cinema is probably nil. I think the last movie I saw in the theatre was the last "Sex and the City movie". It was with my ex husband, and it was at the Colloseum in Kirkland off Chemin Ste Marie.

Sadly lately the media, including social media is saturated with this drivel. I hear the book is extremely poorly written, and that while it posses as erotic and bdsm, really, it's nothing more then glorified abuse. Most practitioners of BDSM will tell you that the relationship between the main 2 characters is unhealthy.  It's sad that hordes of women have bought into this garbage. We already don't have enough issues with rape and consent that some yahoo makes it sound all erotic.

There is really nothing erotic about being raped.  I know there are women who like to fantasize about rape, but trust me, the real thing... well... it kills part of you inside.

So I'm 50 shades of unimpressed with society in general . It's hard to know who to trust, and who is telling the truth. Having more access to information doesn't seem to make people smarter, it seems to permit to information peddlers to convince people that their information is the truth.

I know I live in a 'democratic" society where I think I have freedom. {Well at least there is freedom of what to think inside my head.. That must count for something? }  I can run up and down the street yelling how much Steven Harper is a moron, and I won't get arrested. At worst my neighbours will call the police and I will get a nuisance ticket.

But at the same time I know that I'm only free in so far as I am a good little citizen.  50 shades of unimpressed with the government, the health care system, workers comp {CSST in Quebec}, and everything in between.

I'm a Crazy Canuck

Thursday night despite the fact it was still snowing I decided to drive down to my friends place in the townships. On a good day, with clear roads it has taken me as little as 2 hours.  It would not be that way this time.  It took me 45 minutes to make it to the Petro-T in Kahnawake.  That was a sign of things to come.

The 30 was drive-able,  I even passed a snow removal truck which didn't much difference to be honest. I made it to the 20 and it wasn't so bad except people were mostly going between 60-70km/hr. I could not see myself driving holding my steering for dear life 4 hours. That made me anxious. So i grabbed my courage and barrelled down the highway at times as fast as 105. There were areas where the wind and drifting snow made the visibility almost nil and i did slow to 70ish at times.

The 55 was good around Drummondville but as I got deeper into the Townships the road became more covered especially after i passed the snow removal truck. The last 20 clics on the 55 were the hardest, had hard time finding the road. Of course the last bit on the country road i was going 50 and at times I wasn't sure where the road was. Fun  times.

It took me 2 hours 45 minutes holding my steering with a death grip. But I made it in one piece. Toby was mostly good on the way down and he got to spend time with the dog.

Nice to see I'm not the only women who really finds receiving unsolicited dick photos unpleasant....

Great article with video about the subject.  I've ranted about this a few times before but this article hits it on the head.

Saudi Historian needs a pole up his.....

Some buffoon Saudi historian claims women drive in other countries, because WE DON'T CARE IF WE GET RAPED. 

I'd love to know where he gained this knowledge? Has he traveled to other countries and raped women and then interview them to know how they felt? If he did, he's a bad Saudi, and a bad Muslim, he shouldn't be looking never mind touching women who he isn't married to or related to.  And if he didn't then WHAT the fuck does  he know about women in other countries?

When he was made fun in the interview, he added that Saudi Arabia should hire foreign women drivers to drive their women?  Really? Because the law in Saudi Arabia differentiates between local women and foreign women?  Last I checked if you are ANY FEMALE caught driving in Saudi Arabia, there will be penalties. I'm guessing if you're a foreigner, you will be fined and deported.

I have to feel sorry for Saudi women stuck with neanderthals like this buffoon.  I have hope that one day our Saudi sisters will be allowed to drive their cars, without the risk of rape....

I mean you'd think if they fear rape so much they would JAIL ALL THE MEN. After all it's MEN who rape women.

Beck rocks

Yep. This picture does say it all.  I'm impressed with Beck who was classy and humble and really he rocks!

Shirley Manson of Garbage was very unimpressed with Kanye

Always been a big fan of Beck, and I guess it's time I check out the album for which he got Grammy.

What are the urban developers in DDO really thinking?

There are so few north-south streets in the west island that goes between highway 40 and Gouin and some yahoo in DDO, thought that one of the few streets that do, should be single lane 40km per hour!!!

Don't know what he has been smoking, but ever since the line was painted to mark where one could no longer drive and not clearing the snow on the side of the road, Sunnybrooke  BOULEVARD has been jammed up between 7:30-8:30AM and between 4-6pm daily. When I say jammed up, bumper to bumper traffic. I've been stuck on Sunnybrooke blvd longer then 30 fucking minutes. The damn BOULEVARD is 2.2km long and should take no more then 5 minutes to drive from one end to the other, even if you have to wait for the light at Hyman, and for the bike path in summer.

If I had a choice I would NEVER use Sunnybrooke BOULEVARD, but sadly I work on St Regis, and really the best way to get home is by taking Gouin to Pierrefonds blvd. The only way to get from St Regis to Gouin is by taking Sunnybrooke.

But some Yahoo from DDO thinks that I should maybe get on the highway for one exit and then go down Sources blvd? So I drive further out of the way?  Besides most mornings Sources is backed up to Hyman, or even Sunnydale.  I've taken to zigzagging through DDO in the morning and getting to Sunnybrooke at Kingsley and still some mornings I spend 20 minutes on Sunnybrooke.

Also if they didn't want Sunnybrooke BOULEVARD to be used by so much traffic, they perhaps having it connect to an entrance to the highway  via St Regis wasn't the best idea either

I spent most of my commute time stuck in non-moving traffic on both Sunnybrooke and St Regis and it's really frustrating.

And to those unclear on the meaning of the word Boulevard, it means a LARGE road.  If you don't want people to use it call it a street or an avenue.  Not a boulvard.


/RANT OFF

"She was gagging for it? "

Some top lawyer in the UK seems to think that if you're drunk you're consenting.  Perhaps someone should spike his drink with some date rape drug, shove a stick up his ass and then tell him he was "gagging for it" since he was drunk and consenting.

Anyone can be raped, that's the reality. You really think because you're a male you will never get raped? Let someone toss you in jail for a few weeks and come back to tell me that you had sex willingly with another man in those conditions.

It pisses me off to no end when a male with some amount of power goes off and says things like "She was gagging for it". I bet you he probably also feels that there was no child abuse at the BBC, and children make up stories about abuse.... Oh and if they were drugged they were probably "gagging for it".

Stupid back

I must have slipped and twisted by back funny on Thursday when I walked to ETS from the train station because Friday morning it was locked.

It's now Monday, I've spent all week-end doing nothing much, putting tiger balm on my back and taking the crappy muscle relaxant that upsets the belly but should help the back.  Still have stiff back this morning.

Sucks. I have no idea what I did to the stupid thing.

First shots with the point and shoot.

On the way back from doing interviews at ETS, since I had 20 minutes to kill before the train, I stopped and payed a visit to m y favourite "place of worship" so to speak

Wooden statue of Mary

Basilique Marie Reine du Monde

I walked to the location in the church when the wooden depiction of Mary is found and I sat in quiet reflection for about 10 minutes.

Seriously?

So the POF guy from MAY last year resurfaced again today, with a text message, trying to engage me. Trying to get a reaction out of me. I ain't going to react, other then to rant here about what a fucking moron he is.  I told him nicely I didn't want to see him again end of May 2014. You'd think he'd have fucking moved on.... He's verging on stalker status.It's the 4th time he contacts me since.

He's another one who doesn't seem to learn that when you insult someone in a drunken stupor, you may not remember tomorrow but the other party does, and doesn't want to cross any bridge with you ever again. To wit, a blog post aimed at another clueless male.

Post script about vaccines

Great article from a doctor about why you should vaccinate your children.

When my youngest was 8-9 months several people where their dad worked got the measles.  Concerned I spoke to my pediatrician who vaccinated her at 9 months. Of course that vaccine was just enough to protect her to 15 months when she was scheduled to receive the MMR.

My youngest never got the measles thankfully. 

Take public transport they say

I'm going to interview students  at ETS today, so I decided to take the commuter train. 

In the past when I arrive around 9ish there is no parking soI figured I'd arrive earlier and get parking in one of the lots.  But no. They were already full at 8:15!!!!!!!! 

I had to park on the street in front of the IGA. Thankfully I chose to go early so at least I was able to park.  There needs to be more parking if they want more people to use public transport.

Got myself a point and shoot

Sony DSC-W830

I've been not wanting to take 2-5lbs of camera equipment everywhere I go, so I figured 2015 was the year I'd get myself a little tiny point and shoot. It's very tiny. Smaller then my android.  List price on SO\ony Canada website is $130 currently, got it for $115 taxes included at Canada Computers. Ordered two more batteries and a charger on Amazon, the total will cost me $20. Battery for this camera is rated for about 100 minutes, want to make sure I don't run out of battery. 

I've taken a few cat photos with it and happy. It does so much better then my android in poor lighting, which is good considering I hate using a flash, though even without flash the camera will flash red to get focus. 

I chose the Sony because I have a similar model at work and like it a lot. It's probably a little bigger then this one but not by much and takes good photos for my needs at work. Of course I'm just a Sony groupie, I just love the Sony colours. 

Oh and I just remembered I have 2 tripods that will work for this camera, one is tiny and will hold it, the other was supposed to be one that can be attached to anything but would not hold up a dSLR, but will hold up this tiny point and shoot, no problems. 

Vaccinations

It's fairly common these days to find parents who think vaccinations are bad for their children and refuse to get them vaccinated.

I'm from a different group of people who feel vaccinations are important. My mom was traumatized by the number of children she saw that caught paralytic polio. Canada was one of the nations the hardest hit by this disease, especially between 1927 and 1953. Canada was also one of the first countries to successfully eliminate Polio after the introduction of the salk vaccine in 1955 and the Sabin oral vaccine in 1962.

There was an outbreak in the years before my birth in 1962 that scarred my mom for life. The number of children she saw remain handicapped made sure that she was going to have me vaccinated and convince me that the better option is to have my children vaccinated.

Sadly I did end up getting the measles, really badly, and I suspect the reason my eyes adjust so poorly to light was due to this. I spent 1 month in the dark when I had the measles. They were terrified I'd go blind.  The measles vaccination was offered to me at school, but on the day it was given, I had a cold, which wasn't a cold, but symptoms of the measles. The vaccination came too late for me.

I also got the mumps at 10, and the side effect of that is that I have had motion sickness since. Before the mumps I could ride in cars and even swing on a swing. After the mumps, I turn green in anything with a bit of motion. I've never been able to go on rides in amusements park since the mumps.

The chicken pox is the only childhood disease I got that did not seem to leave me with negative side effects, with the exception of a few scars from scratching.

Here's an interesting article written by a 70's kid who's mom thought it was healthier to not receive any vaccinations.

In 2007 when I travelled to the middle-east I got a plethora of vaccinations.  I got vaccinated against polio, tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis, as well as Hep A, Heb B, typhoid, cholera, and travellers diarrhea.  The only vaccination I never got is one against rubella. However they don't make that vaccine alone, it's usually along with mumps and measles. Since I had the other two, they couldn't vaccinate me against it.

The only vaccination I do not get these days is the flu vaccination, because I've had it once and reacted really poorly to the vaccine itself. However if I got older and more prone to catching the flu, I'd probably go back to getting a yearly shot