Broken

I have not been physically well since some time last week, between the cold sores and the flu like symptoms for sure I was fighting something.

But it's my mind that has been broken. Since the news of my uncles death, I have been in a place I hadn't been since my dad's death. I've been struggling with my dad's death now for over 12 years and I thought I was making progress, but this has spiralled me back years in terms of processing.

That's the problem is that I am not processing emotions anymore. I feel over whelmed all I want to do is to hibernate and be alone.

I have slept more the past 5 days then I've slept the past year!  Me sleeping a lot usually signifies I'm not well in one way or another.Not sure when I'm seeing my therapist next but I could so see him today. Maybe I'll message and see.

I've barely been eating, have no interest in food. It's hard. Usually when I'm this low I have had a significant other who makes sure I get fed. Right now I'm not really paying that good attention. I'm trying to eat 3 times a day, but one day that meant I had 4 eggs and a few crackers with cheese.

I've always had a hard time eating when I'm upset and processing or trying to process emotions. I feel like such a basket-case today.The worst part is that it's 8:15. I was ready to leave for work at 8. I had bathed, brushed my teeth, even gotten dressed, and got into the truck and well that was all the energy I had.