Thursday, November 27, 2014

New lcd to replace my dead LG

At some point in April one of my two lcds just died.  It was an LG, the W2253w which had vga, dvi  & hdmi connections. Used the hdmi as tv with laptop.

I has decided I wanted to replace it with a Philips but wasn't sure if i wanted it to have hdmi or displayport.  The new one I picked up today has both so it wont matter.  Its the Philips 242G5DJEB 24" lcd that displays at 1920x1080, and I got it at Canada Computers for $289 plus tax. It was $299 at Tiger Direct, and you'd have had to add shipping. Everywhere else this LCD is going for $320+

Funny too I went Monday to Canada Computers and they had none available I even got a call to tell me that  there was none in any of the stores, and yet today I get email to pick it up. Now have to clear the desk to set it up.  I was too lazy to do that tonight.

It's more monitor then I need. I know this, but working with high end LCDs at work gives me serious monitor envy. Besides, it's not like I've bought myself a TV in easily 10 years, so what if I splurge in an LCD. I'm a geek. :)

Meh it's Thursday!

It's Thursday.  I'm still nursing a cold, that seems to have relocated itself in my sinuses and in my throat. Buckleys cough & congestion is doing wonders for my lungs. Don't feel I'm fighting bronchitis at least.

My laptop is still dead and I decided I'd wait to this week-end with black Friday sales to see if I can get a good price. I'm getting another Lenovo most likely the Thinkpad L440. Main reason I'd get the L instead of the X or T or E version is that it touts 12 HOURS of battery life. WOOT.

I hope to be energetic enough this week-end to finally winterize my yard.

Today I have this Death Cab by Cutie song stuck in my head... 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Bois de liesse late fall

I went for a short walk in lieu of lunch today

Ruisseau Bertrand from the bridge
Ruisseau Bertrand on trail just off St Regis blvd

A new dress Finished on Sunday

Mc Calls M6754 with a nice lace print lined with a thick cotton knit
This dress came out almost perfect. I love how both fabrics married so nicely together to give me a thick winter dress, made with a nice lace print. Must find more of this cotton knit and make other "skater" dresses. 
Lace print lined with cotton knit.

And I decided that this dress fit better my friend

Monday, November 24, 2014

I'm a big fan of dragonflies.

I had also never realized that this awesome song I haven't heard since my late teens, was by Mahogany Rush or that it was called dragonfly  It's pretty funky.

Something loves to have fun at my expense.

Something out there LOVES to fuck with my head. To play with my insecurities. Happens usually when I like someone a lot. That anything and everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Sometimes I think I'm just paranoid, other times I feel I've got tangible proof that something or someone is out to get me. Or at least play with me for fun. "Oh you want that do you? Well FUCK YOU! You ain't getting it". Or "You want it, run, run, run like a headless chicken..."

Then I start looking at circumstances and I can't imagine that there's so many things always fucking up. If I have spare time, he doesn't. Even when he thinks he has time for me, it gets chewed up by 1001 things.

This morning I thought again for the nth time I accidentally called him. I was pressing on a facebook email on my phone at the time so I really had a "da fuck" moment. Apparently that was overheard before I hung up. Then I went to look at my call log and realized I didn't accidentally call, it was him who called. Apparently it was accidental as well, he meant to text me, that his laptop died.

{My laptop died last week...?!?!?!}

Well we talked twice this morning, and discussed this thing that likes to fuck around. And he felt it was there too from the day we met at Timmies, that time his phone vanished!!!

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean there isn't someone out there waiting to get me....

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Band du jour

Was reminiscing about one of my favourite Canadian bands along with The Guess Who, Neil Young, and of course Mahogany Rush. [Dont like Rush, Geddy Lee's voice is like nails on chalkboard for me]. I also remembered this morning, that in my first year at work doing technical support,. I took a phone call from none other then Frank Marino.  I don't remember anything other then the fact I knew who he was and provided him with great technical support.

This morning I've been listening to the concert they did in Bromont in 1979, the year I graduated from high school.

Also discovered that I've always liked their song Dragonfly - shocking isn't it?

Yep I'm too embarassed

I'm one of them people who is too embarrassed to go to a sex shop by myself..I figured I would share this article for the likes of me, in hopes one day I can not be so hung up.  The irony is I've brought people who had never been to one and didn't want to go alone to some. But myself still got the hangup.Despite being very adult and rational that sex is part of life.

Many thanks to my Catholic upbringing for a slew of my hangups. I was hoping that after my parents both died, I would feel freer, and less bound by conservative Christian morals. But sadly these things live in my head and I'm the only one who can purge my brain as I crave freedom, at least in my own mind.

Im an emotional basketcase, it must be Saturday

For some reason I'm often an emotional basketcase on Saturdays.  Maybe its trying to be professional at work all week, the excess emotion comes out when I try to relax.

Doesnt help that things I did since labour day weekend have torn down my walls and shields.  So im very much stuck with my raw emotion.  

Some which is wild since I dance with Kali and she has been dragging me in her whirlish spiral dancing. Everything Kali is very raw. My Kali nature is very intense, few are comfortable with it. Those who say they are but it makes them recoil in one way or another.

How disappointing to harness Kali in such manner and have no one to share with, at least not in the near future. In general rarely can I share Kali her dance is just too much.... it burns. .... and you give blood and  flesh in sacrifice.

Im getting mixed signals from new friend. Says things that make me glow but then theres little follow through. Can't tell if hes just in a weird place himself or if he's really pushing  me away gently.  Not sure he even knows at times. I probably like him more then I should.  Perhaps it's a case of right guy wrong time. 

Either way sitting here feeling so many emotions that it prevents me from being able to do anything productive.  Hoping to do something productive like cooking or sewing or even drawing pastels. Just hoping I pull myself together enough to clear the garage and get winter tires in my truck and make appointment to get them put on.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

First piece of art since June 2011.

This piece is called bottled emotions. It is my first chalk pastel since my teens. My preferred medium since 2007 has been oil pastels, though I've done a few acrylic paint pieces. But they are rare.

Bottled Emotions - November 18th, 2014.
This was all about emotion. It was drawn quickly on impulse almost like if I didn't go fast I would lose the momentum and not finish the piece. I drew it while listening to trainspottin  by primal scream. over and over. It just is.

Hopefully this is the start of a new prolific drawing season. Long winter nights inspire dreams of northern lights... I have so many unfinished drawings in my notebooks that may well stay unfinished. sometimes the space I was in when I started those other drawings, I'm not ever going to be in again.. hard to finish in a different space...  At least for me.


Once an asshole generally always an asshole...

So yesterday I had an engineer at my desk. This is not unusual. The particular engineer was. I've worked with the guy years ago, and he's always been an ass. He's one of those engineers who looks down on anyone who isn't an engineer, and yet, he's one of the more inept engineers I know.

One who  used to ask us to do the stupidest things to prove that the bug wasn't his. He used to play ostrich in a big way and make it sound like the testers were inventing problems to make him look bad, never mind the fact that he couldn't debug a simple problem if it bit him in the ass.

This particular fellow is more socially inept then he is in development, so while waiting for testers to reproduce issues he generally manages to piss them off good and proper with salliant non-work related, none of his business questions that make people boil.

Luckily he's been put on more obscure projects that have rarely interfaced with me or my team in years. But yesterday he seemed to think despite having burnt all his bridges with me years ago, that I'd gladly help him out with his problems. From what I understood he trashed his development system.  While he didnt' manage to get otehrs to re-install for him, now he's trying to get others to setup his development environment, and to that end he came and see me yesterday for my "Newbie wiki".

The good thing is I don't have a newbie wiki. I had to argue the point. He was convinced there was one and I was holding back. The information he wanted to know is in the back of my checklists in the "How to" section. However he's the kind of asshole, who would not benefit from the information but who would take my checklist and tear me a new one, even though it has nothing to do with anything he's doing and though he has worked on display drivers, he would not know how to test one if it hit him in the face. 

So I told him I could not help him. I had to yell it at the end because he became incredibly pushy and would not take no for an answer.

The sad part is, if it had been anyone else in the company including a totally new employee, I would have went out of my way to be helpful. 

Moral of the story - don't be an ass to others, don't burn your bridges. You never know when that stupid Software Quality assurance dumbass can be of help.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Elvis has left the building...

I should add as well that Michael Jackson has left the building and yet some are claiming Jackson is alive and well and living in Canada.

If there was anyone I would have wanted alive, it would have been either Jim Morrison, or even Jimi Hendrix, especially in my late teens, early 20's. But I digress...

I had an epiphany earlier but I'll be damned if I remember what it was about now.

I'll conclude by re-iterating that Elvis has left the building, and so has Michael Jackson and neither one of them left any footprints in the snow. . Not everything is  a great conspiracy. Just some things. :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Portable Boxing bag

This is one invention of one of the employees in my team. I think it's nifty.Something I could use to vent out those frustrations. Portable is key here :)

I feel Blearrrrrrrrrrrgh

I woke up around 4 this morning needing to get to the bathroom really fast. And a few more times since. I wonder if I picked that one up from co-worker with whom I travelled, or in Toronto itself, as we went to malls, restaurants, hotels....  but I'm not well.

I thought I'd fought off the cold saliently. Other then sore throat on/off the past week-end I was feeling, ok, though a bit worn out.  The trip to Toronto sucked the life out of me. 

At least I got lots of hugs and cuddles  and tlc from my friends in Kingsbury. I always feel so much better after spending time with them.  Their company helps me recharge batteries. I also love sitting next to a fire, that recharges my batteries. nothing like sitting in front of a fire for a fire sign :)

Today I'm feeling particularly alone. Today I'd actually like to be mothered. It doesn't happen often that I feel this way. Or that I can vocalize it.  I generally don't allow others to help me, or to mother me. I'm particularly vulnerable as well because I'm not feeling well. Usually I have a huge wall around me of grump especially when I feel off, as it makes me vulnerable, today, not so much.

I've often been reproached that I don't let others in or let them help me. There's so many reasons, but ultimately I think part of it is I hear in my head "you got in this mess, you get out of this mess yourself", then there's the pride thing that kicks in, I'm strong I can get through anything and then there's the fact I'm emotionally needy or so I'm told and I can't gauge that. And in most likelihood I'm probably all or nothing, too emotional and needy with some and too together and independent with others. There's the fact that if I just break down and let someone in, all the walls come down, all the filters come down and all the flooding comes, I'm going to be a mess for hours, more intense than anyone could handle, including my mom. 

 Probably a good thing I'm seeing therapist tonight. I can reason a lot of this out. This along with those trust issues.

Read a really good article the other day about boundaries. I really never want a co-dependent relationship again. It's so not good for me. I'm guessing it's not good for anyone, but I know it's particularly bad for me.

Mooooving on. well I still feel blearghhh. Going to see if my blueberry oatmeal is in an eatable state at this point. and then going back to bed. Maybe I'll feel better next time I wake up?  One can hope.

Monday, November 17, 2014

It's SNOWING!!!!!

This was the view I had leaving my friends home in Kingsbury, this is driving down Frank at about 80kms.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

I alway enjoy spending time in Kingsbury

Not only do I enjoy the company of my friends who live in Kingsbury and their pets but, I love how peaceful it is here. My house is reasonably quiet for a house on the island of Montreal, but with open windows in summer, I hear the traffic on Pierrefonds blvd, and the fire fighters.

Here it's peaceful. Though they live in the town, there are so few homes, you barely feel the other people, whereas where I live I always feel the other people, and after 4 days up the 401, I really did not want to feel people and their weird energies.

I'm feeling very contemplative this morning.  Dunno if it's because I went to sleep at 6:30 instead of waking up at 6:30 but it's changed my perspective somewhat.

Happy the trip in Toronto is over. Happy to have Monday off, so I can contemplate life more. See the good and flush the bad.

I was so burnt after the trip to AMD in Toronto. How I managed to drive myself  out of town... and it was a record short drive. Took me barely 2 hours despite fact I had gotten to sources when I realized I was wearing shoes and I wanted to wear winter boots. Good thing I did. It's been SNOWING WOOOOOT!!!!

So driving Saturday around lunch is a good time. I didn't get traffic around St Bruno on the 30, didn't get traffic going between the 30 & the 20, didn't get traffic on the Mercier, and didn't get traffic anywhere on the 20, which is amazing.  Also didn't go 90 for km's on the 20 in the left most lane, was able to do 118 most of the way and pass several police car with radars with no ill effects.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

How does one overcome trust issues?

Compared to 10 years ago, I can generally say I have better self-esteem. I am fairly confident with who I am and comfortable. Though sometimes too apologetic. I shouldn't apologize all the time for who I am. I am who I am. And I sound like Popeye.

But I have trust issues. I suspect everyone with ulterior motives. It's not just me. It's a very French Quebecois thing to be paranoid about other people's intentions.  Or to be suspicious of anyone who I is too nice. Any one who seems to really like me, makes me wonder why they do. I shouldn't wonder. I'm someone likeable, if you like weird and quirky, and I sure do.  I mean I'd like me as a friend. I make an awesome friend, moody but very dependable.

These days if I get a compliment, my first reaction is to be pleased and accept the compliment graciously. However a few hours later, I'm analyzing and over analyzing why that person might have given me a compliment, instead of being my normal self and just taking it at face value and moving on.

Something to discuss again with therapist no doubt on Tuesday.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Torana sucks....

Not happy camper this morning. My laptop crashed coming out of sleep and now just boots to a desktop in safe mode.

I fell asleep early cause i felt like crap and was awake at 2 am. Could not get back to sleep.  Was up at 5 am. My back is twingy, im nursing a fucking cold sore in my right nostril and i developed a mouth sore too. Some food i ate past few days did not agree with me.

I just hope the nausea subsides after  breakfast cause a5 hour drive with nausea sucks. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

SUSFU in Toronto

It's 6am and I can't sleep anymore.  For one there's not enough bedding on my bed, not heavy enough. I wasn't cold, but just not comfortable. I do like the suite I have at the Residence Inn Marriot Markham, better then the room I had at the Garden Hilton last time.

Kitchen & entrance door
 It's just down the street from the Garden Hilton and actually a bit closer to the AMD offices.  I remembered the area well and was able to co-pilot very well.  We even went for dinner at the Markville Mall yesterday. Must go back there with a bit more time to check out the FabricLand, last night co-worker was tired from not having slept night before due to getting stomach flu from his son who was sick all last week-end.  {note I really wish I don't get it, but I brought my strawberry extract}.

You can see the bedroom next to dining table.

  For some reason I was really pining for a Taco Bell 7 layer Burrito. Though I could not eat the bread since it is not gluten free.  Sucks that mexican take out is marred in wheat. But I digress.

Bedroom and bathroom

I can't sleep anymore because all I hear are gale force winds at the moment from my room. So I took the time to do my employee evaluations and today I must finalize my equipment budget. I mean the timing of this trip is just adding to the extra work I need to do.

Living room part of suite.
I just noticed the time, I have less then an hour to get dressed and ready for breakfast so running off.  For the record, I still hate Toronto.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014


So I woke up at 5 this morning to be at work by 6:30 but  the colleague I'm travelling with hit traffic and its 7am and I'm still waiting.

Other then the fact my left hand has bruised middle finger knuckle and a blister on the finger next to it.

yeah not feeling it this morning. 

Monday, November 10, 2014

I baptized the new deep fryer

I tried my new deep fryer tonight, and while it works the same as my old one,  I manage to splash oil on my finger and now I have a nice blister.  So the deep fryer baptized me.

I also finished another dress on Sunday. I bought this fabric because I loved the print. Between the black and white and the spirals, and its handkerchief look, I love it. But however it was viscose. I generally don't like viscose and while some idiot in a fabric store argued that rayon and viscose was the same, I strongly disagree. I love wearing rayon but I didn't like how this fabric felt. I'm warm and sweaty and at the same time I am cold.  So this is the last viscose I buy.

Simplicity 1804 with a black viscose knit
Butterick 1804

Week-end mixed bag

Uncertainty drives me crazy.  I prefer knowing, even knowing something won't happen rather then be in a state of uncertainty. It took 2-3weeks for work to decide they were shipping me to AMD and then the details took a while to materialize.

Been also trying to see my Lebanese ex now for the better part of 2 months and he's hopelessly busy these days. If it's not one thing, it's another.  After labour day week-end I needed to talk to him but by the time I get to see him, most of what I want to say will have vanished in my vast memory library in my mind.

My friends from Kingsbury were supposed to drop in Saturday night, but at the last minute, she got called into work on Sunday, so they could not drop in. I won't say I wasn't disappointed 

The good things of this week-end included buying a George Foreman Mean Lean Frying machine off some black dude on Kijiji.  For some reason he decided it would be better to meet at a Timmy's in NDG. So we met him there. My friend went into the Timmies to see if he was there and get breakfast, and she tells me "No one there with a deep fryer" and I happen to look out the window and I see a black man running and smiling holding a deep fryer in a Natural food store bag.

Debbie, who's been living with me for almost a year, and I were really missing French fries after my last George Foreman deep fryer died.  So we're back in business. I'll be able to make Batata Harra again :)

Need to get out of bed and get into work early today. Tomorrow, Toronto. BLEAH!!!!!

Sunday, November 09, 2014

This week-end's sewing project

Butterick 3223

I decided to use an old Butterick pattern from  1993  to make this dress. The suggested fabrics included jersey's and knits. So I used the smallest size and removed the zipper and it fits beautifully.

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Ground Moose Hobo Stew

Moose Hobo Stew
I had 1lb left of the Moose meat and decided to make hobo stew. I used ground moose, garlic, onions, celery, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, peas and corn.  First I stir fried the onion, garlic and celery in coconut oil, to which I added the ground moose, and continued stirring until the meat was browned. Then added the rest of the veggies, stir fried a few minutes more. I added about 2 cups worth Oasis vegetable juice. brought it to a boil and let the stew simmer until the potatoes and carrots were tender. For seasoning I added salt, ground black pepper, sage, thyme, rosemary, marjoram, cayenne, as well as 2 tablespoons of  chili garlic cock sauce.

It was delicious. I specifically made it so it's a meal with lots of veggies and a little meat.

I love and HATE shopping at the same time

I do enjoy walking through endless stores filled with fashions to get an idea of what's  fashionable. After which I much prefer making my own clothes. Honestly this past 6 months of sewing has been so rewarding.

If I realize that I sew far more prolifically then I can reasonably benefit, I'm going to look into programs that donate clothes to poor children.  I love making children's clothes, I love shopping for fabric. I can make pretty dresses. Every little girl who likes dresses deserves a pretty little dress. I am well aware not all girls like dresses, and I respect that.  I also like making oshkosh type overalls, with cute animal appliques and turtlenecks for both genders.

I went to Carrefour laval today, was there maybe an hour and a half. I targeted Maison Simon, looked briefly at the sweaters, I would like to replace one of my long sweaters, but these days they are all wrap around sweaters and I find buttonless sweaters useless.

I went straight to the tights section and found that they carried merino wool tights in 4 colours. oatmeal, light grey, dark grey and black.  I picked up a pair of black ones for my friend who was looking for some as well, and one dark grey and one oatmeal coloured for myself.  I was also hoping to find olive green tights, at least in cotton, but no such luck.  I did buy a pair of burgundy type colour in cotton.

I stopped at Hush Puppies, to see if I could find a new pair of dress black winter boots. I gave away almost all my winter footwear a few days ago along with a giant bag of clothes.  Had no luck. This one pair I liked were fine for fall/spring, and waterproof, but I want winter boots.

I stopped at Old Navy to check out the coats, mine is easily 3-4 years old. I had it already at Occupy Montreal in October 2011.  They had olive and black in this years model of my coat. Sadly the XS while fitting properly elsewhere did not give me the shoulder room that my current coat does. Was dissapointed to be honest as it felt very much like my current coat, which is hot, but not too hot and is perfect for fall, spring, warmer winter days and driving.  Also would prefer to get a reddish coloured coat. Will look after Christmas, I might luck out.

Then I went to American Eagle Outfitters and picked up a pair of jeans. I need to go through what I have of jeans and get rid of lots of pairs. Especially pairs smaller then size 2, that haven't fit in a while.

So tally, I got 3 pairs of tights and 1 pair of jeans. Things I'm not likely to make myself.

On an unrelated topic, I was told I am intoxicating by my fwb, that I met back September 15th on POF.  I'm thinking that's a good thing, seeing that I like his company very much.

Friday, November 07, 2014

Happy Friday!

For some time the morning DJ on 99.9 The Buzz would play this song on Friday mornings.  So seeing it's Friday I wanted to hear this song.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Brace yourself it's Movember!

It's that time of the year for the cheesy 'staches to show up everywhere.  Time when some men end up looking like cavemen.

While I joke about the moustaches it obviously works for awareness, so go grow yours today :P

Probably less annoying then the pink ribbon for breast cancer. That everything pink is almost virally for breast cancer.

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Dress from last week-end.

McCalls M6889

Small victories

I persevered and won! Last night was the third night in a row I attempted to finish cutting a dress. I succeeded last night without falling asleep. Would have been the third night in a row I fell asleep cutting the same dress.

Also found out the dates I'm being shipped to Toronto, From the 11th to the 14th of November. Remembrance day!  Will be in a minivan heading to Toronto at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month this year.

Here's a few cute cat photos. Just because

You go to work, I'll sunbathe!

But I have pretty green eyes!

I'm really chill
Toby attacking my Joe Fresh Army green vest, in it's bag
I should add I picked up another Joe down filled vest, this one Army green. I love the black one I got last year so much. I put it on and I don't have to wear 1001 more layers. The down keeps me warm.

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Skateboarding cat.

Don't know how I stumbled onto this gem but I love it.   Wonder if Toby would learn to skateboard? Things that make you go hmmm.  I wonder if my youngest daughter who used to skateboard as a teen, would have enjoyed a skateboarding Axl?

Monday, November 03, 2014

It's 3am and I'm awake, again.

I fell asleep while taking a break cutting out a dress last night. Woke up around 2:15am realizing I had not finished cutting the dress, but had the feeling I had, meaning I dreamed I finished it.

Yesterday afternoon I wanted to return to Fabricville to pick up a Batik print that would be wearable in winter and would match this grey novelty knit with a lace overlay.  I was in a shop until you drop mood. The Batik was the one expensive piece of fabric I bought at $11.99/m,  I bought 2 meters. All other fabric was $2-$4 a meter, from the cheap wall. Found some blue cotton fabric as well as a paisley rayon print that will be fine for making medieval dresses. Also found a few more novelty knits   and picked up 3 different flannels ranging from $2-$4 a meter. In the end I had a 2 huge bags of fabric for $100 with taxes. If I'd been in this type of mood and had bought clothes, my credit card would have suffered far more. Bonus, enough fabric to keep me busy until Easter 2015 :)

Spent most of the afternoon and early evening washing fabrics and shrinking them in the dryer, mine and my friend who has no washer/dryer in her apartment. She visited with her 2 toy/miniature poodles. Kept the cats puzzled, what are those small creatures, not cats wandering around the house?

In other news I finished a red rayon/polyester knit dress yesterday, and am halfway through a viscose knit dress. Dug out a pattern from the mid 90's that I remember had a nice fit to use with a knit.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

Beam me up Scotty!

You know you're an ubber geek when 100 of your 500+ Facebook friends like George Takei.  

I have to admit that I often share George Takei's punny photos.

I hate it when the time changes.

Just sayin..

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Cats love to sit on anything you put on the floor.

Whether it's fabric that I lay out on the floor or whether it's a Sarong I want to take a photo.. The cats MUST investigate.

Oh look she got a new Sarong,  Sniff it, sit on it, go go go
Sarong from Costa Rica.
I needed retail therapy on Friday. Stopped in at value village to find this sarong. Also stopped at Fabricville to buy some batik fabric.  So pretty. Want a batik that can work as a winter dress as well.  Also want to find fabric to make a medieval inspired dress.