For some reason I'm often an emotional basketcase on Saturdays. Maybe its trying to be professional at work all week, the excess emotion comes out when I try to relax.
Doesnt help that things I did since labour day weekend have torn down my walls and shields. So im very much stuck with my raw emotion.
Some which is wild since I dance with Kali and she has been dragging me in her whirlish spiral dancing. Everything Kali is very raw. My Kali nature is very intense, few are comfortable with it. Those who say they are but it makes them recoil in one way or another.
How disappointing to harness Kali in such manner and have no one to share with, at least not in the near future. In general rarely can I share Kali her dance is just too much.... it burns. .... and you give blood and flesh in sacrifice.
Im getting mixed signals from new friend. Says things that make me glow but then theres little follow through. Can't tell if hes just in a weird place himself or if he's really pushing me away gently. Not sure he even knows at times. I probably like him more then I should. Perhaps it's a case of right guy wrong time.
Either way sitting here feeling so many emotions that it prevents me from being able to do anything productive. Hoping to do something productive like cooking or sewing or even drawing pastels. Just hoping I pull myself together enough to clear the garage and get winter tires in my truck and make appointment to get them put on.
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