Toby tries to woo her

This is the third visit Toby makes to my friends house in Kingsbury. Their female cat is never impressed with other animals. She barely tolerates the dog and cat she lives with. So she is generally unimpressed with Toby's presence in the house.  Usually just being in the same room, Pixel growls. Toby managed to get reasonably close and within line of sight. Maybe there is hope!

Despite all the warnings Toby got, he really liked hanging out under the Christmas tree, and we did tolerate him when he wasn't attacking the tree.

The little putz and his shenanigans

Despite having been sprayed a few times with the water bottle I caught him pawing at a hanging decoration. When he heard the camera click he ran probably remembering the water bottle.

 Here the little putz hides on the chair to paw at the dog's tail.

Kittens

Have you ever tried to do a tarot reading with an inquisitive kitten?

I don't recall but he seems paws-on. He always seem to want to touch the cards

Tobias doesn't know .....

As Toby gets acquainted with the skateboard I have big plans for him.

Innocently sitting on the skateboard

Poor sleep

What a day. Didn't get to sleep till 4am, but then really didn't sleep much, and was up by 9am. My stomach was having another one of them days. I still have mounds of pots and pans from Sunday but no motivation to do anything.

Eventually after dosing in and out of sleep in my chair part of the afternoon, I went to sleep around 4 and slept straight till 11pm. Of course that's not going to help me sleep tonight, but this nap was longer then most of my nights sleep in the past week.

I felt badly, I was invited to dinner that evening but I could not bear thinking about going out in the pissing rain with the nausea and all. 

Perhaps the stress of the holidays. Hopefully my tummy troubles are going to be over soon.

Interesting find online

While I don't believe in labels, sometimes they help you figure out things. I've never really been strong on monogamy, but at the same time I do build lasting relationships with people. Some of which are strongly emotional and intimate but the relationship itself is platonic and within standards norm of friendship or what society considers normal.

Of course fact I build such relationships just as easily with men or women, including some in lands far away puzzles some people, but it doesn't make me defective. It just makes me 'different'.

With time and age you realize that you can find people who you click with and like similar things you do and have similar expectations. I found this interesting article on  Solo Polyamory a lot of which makes sense to me.

I have many close friends, with close emotional bonds, including my 2nd ex husband. We might not have been "happily ever after' material but the love and friendship between us certainly hasn't changed. I told him not to long ago, that my condition to sign the divorce papers was that he had to promise that I would always be a friend, that I could not stand losing my friend. We were good friends before we became more and losing that good friend would really hurt.  But I should have no such fears.  We're good. He said as much and he was sincere. I could see it in his eyes.

My family these days consists of my daughters, my close friends and my cats, and sometimes I'm not sure I want a primary relationship. Those are often messy and complicated.... and I don't do well in them. 

And then it was 2

By Monday 3pm, I was alone with an old friend visiting from Ottawa, who stayed till Tuesday. We got to hang out. and talk and not do much of anything.

We had the mussel leftovers, it was just enough for a meal for two and as it turned out he hadn't sampled the mussels on Sunday.  I wanted to make French fries to accompany the mussels but it didn't happen.  There was enough mussels.

Still want to make fries with my brand new vegetable cutter, that cuts vegetables and small potatoes, and it julienne. I love juliennes.  I wonder if this would cut sweet potatoes, probably not. Maybe that's what I'm going to have for dinner tonight. French fries, cut with my brand new fry cutter.

Monday morning though I was up early and at Club Tissu in Laval so my eldest daughter could choose a sewing machine for herself. Went spent an hour or so there, she got lesson on the machine she liked and bought and that extended my membership by 3 months.  So she goes back to Halifax with a sewing machine. She may not yet get into making her own clothes, but she can use it for her crafts.

It's that time of the year

I left work at noon on Friday, and only go back to work on the 5th of January.

My daughter arrived by 4pm boyfriend in tow, I was just about to doze off,  was another day where I was feeling on and off.  

Did some cooking that night and on the Saturday.  I would have liked to go to Ikea with my daughter but was not feeling healthy enough. I felt totally drained and the thought of being at IKEA at this time of the year with all the people made me shriek inside.

I stayed home and cooked, my friends came in from the townships on Saturday night and I had a nice time chatting with them and my daughter. 

Sunday most people dispersed and I had the house to myself for a few hours to get ready and finish most of the cooking. People starting arriving around 5:30 and a nice time was had by all

I was disappointed that my new friend did not even stop in briefly at least to meet a few of my friends.  But I could dedicate a whole entry to that topic but it's probably not worth the effort.

The Chile Shrimp was a success as always. I made 4lbs of shrimp and it went like that. Poof.  There was no left overs, in fact some folks didn't even get the chance to get a 2nd serving.

My daughter made mussels, oh they were divine.  YUM.

Husky visits

She felt at home on the bed right with the pack

This is too cute not to share

I've always found men that actually spend quality time with their children, very sexy. So I had to share this article with dads who do all sorts of fun stuff with their kids.

I have to say I got a step-dad I was 10. He was phenomenal. I got to put curlers in this hair and try different hair do's on him. He gave me airplane rides around the house, and he was 6ft3inches, so that was a lot of fun. I used to walk around using his shoes, since they were size 13, and clunk away  He played all sorts of cool games with me as a teen though they would tax his brain.  Heck even in the last few years, in his wheelchair, he would go shopping with me, because he knew I enjoyed that.

I've been an emotional mess this past bit, with raw emotions busting out at the seams all the time, so just writing this entry and looking at this article is making me cry

It's just one of those days.

He loves playing with the windchimes in my studio

Tired this morning

I was awake till 2:30 trying to get zen with my sleep.  Before that I was cooking. I managed to make ratatouille and rosemary chicken last night, along with some rice, since I'm having ratatouille for lunch today and tomorrow.

I managed to get kitchen reasonably back clean once I was done since today is cleaning lady day, and I don't want to hunt for my stuff.

I was chatting with my buddy in Ireland when I got home, then chatted with a friend on and off, took a Skype video call from a friend in Ottawa and also talked to my not quite ex husband. It's rare that I spend the entire evening chatting. Was more sociable then usual but it helped me get through cooking.

What I would do without my little Galaxy S4 mini...

Also ran out around 8pm to stop at the bank drive through and pick up a few items I could not cook without. On the way back I came on my street from Pierrefonds blvd, and it's parallel to it for a while. My street rarely gets snow removal so it still had about an inch of snow. I drove the whole length around 35km/hour slaloming while listening to Riders on the Storm. Epic :) 

I'm so duh this morning, but I'm psyched. 2 more days and then vacation till January 5th.

Weird. I just threw up. I have a feeling it's the B complex, sometimes it sits funny on an empty stomach.  It can't be anything else, cause as soon as I was done, the heavy nausea from being starving hit me and I just downed my bowl of cereal and I feel fine, now.

For some reason it reminds me of something that I talked about last night with one friend about the chinese proverb "May you live in interesting times"

Well then it's being interesting!!! 

Toby: up close and personal

When the alarm goes off Toby comes to cuddle... up close and personal.

Yay Facebook.....

So in excess of 80 people wished me a  happy birthday on Facebook, some on my wall, some in private messages, some with cute little videos, some with cute cards, and even an ex with his brothers computer. I should mention even my youngest first cousin took the time to wish me a happy birthday and tell me that we may not communicate much but he loves to follow what I do on facebook. I know how that feels, I love to just know what people are up to and that they seem happy.

Also got a few emails, phone calls and even someone stopped at my door to give me a birthday hug.

Close to 100 people wished me happy birthday. Which was a shitty day, made less shitty by the fact that many people took the time to think about me.

After the big hug from my friend I took a nap from 5pm to 10 pm. When I woke up around 10ish I felt a lot better. Finally felt human. I had a long chat with a friend and went off to bed feeling good, I hope she felt the same way.

Sadly I have yet to cook for my Yule dinner on Sunday the 21st, but you know what? I will come home early most days except for today I have therapist appointment at 6.

I'm going to cook some of the food some nights this week and it will all work out. No point in panicking. ANd I can also cut the menu if I think I can't pull it off. This would stress me out a lot other years not this year.

Alone in my own shit!

I fell asleep around 9ish last night and was fine till about 3ish this morning. This is where my bowels decided it wanted to expel just about everything it was harbouring,  in a highly liquefied form. Though I managed to sleep with a hot water bottle, to a gurgling belly, I woke up feeling wet and nasty.

I have to say this is a positively shitty way to start my 52nd year and this is probably more then you wanted to know about me today. but fuck really? Another bout? Making it the 4th time since I been back from Toronto that I have to fucking run to the goddamn toilet?

Figures of course that I had brand new sheets and these are whitish with snowflakes. They are now soaking in the washing machine.

I won't be shopping. In fact I'll probably be sitting very close to one of my 3 toilets today.  Me and my shitty sense of humour :P

Today I get my winter tires on

This morning I'm going to get my winter tires on and get an oil change as well as get the cabin light in my truck looked at. Otherwise I'm not having issues with it.

I seemed to remember having a hard time moving the tires,  225 60R18. Apparently they weigh anywhere from 26-30 lbs. I guess after moving my 38lb canoe alone, the tires don't seem particularly heavy anymore. or as awkward. 

 

So tires in truck and leaving to be there for 7:45. Yuck.

Otter boxes for mobile phones.

A co-worker dropped his Samsung galaxy 5 in his garage thus morning and completely shattered the glass. He was using a Samsung case.

I just dropped my Samsung galaxy 4 mini in its otter box. Three co-workers reacted like I'd killed my phone. I drop it often though usually not on purpose and LOVE my Otter Box. 

The only thing that would make it perfect was if it was also waterproof.  

Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini with Otter box. It's clunky but safe :)

 

Nor'Easter decenber 11 2014

Photos of driveway and drive to work.  Love the snow.

Dress finished in the wee hours of Wednesday Morning

McCalls M6889 with a thick green poly-cotton knit

This is the third time I use McCalls M6889 and I got it perfectly for my body this time. No gaping neckline. Fabric is really comfy. Looks a bit like I'm wearing sweatshirt fleece but it's not.

I feel totally naked without my beloved Samsung Galaxy S4 mini....

It's so pretty outside this morning. We had a Nor'Easter go through overnight and this morning everything was covered in snow. It's heavy wet snow, so it was stuck to all the trees and until it warms up it looks really surreal. I would have taken photos except that I had neither a camera nor even my !(*%#(*&%()*# android.

Though to be honest it amazes me that I don't forget it or lose it more often!!!  I left my phone I think on the stairs next to where my purse and lunch bag was. I guess I thought it was either in my sweater pocket or in my coat pocket, but no. I noticed it at the first red light on Sources.

Perhaps when my new laptop arrives I'll be less attached to my phone but until that time I'm feeling NAKED without my stupid phone. And it's not like I use it as a phone that often. Usually it's used as a texting/chatting device.

It keeps me sane during 5 minute mode changes at work. Yesterday I spent 3 hours doing mode changes. In between I'd look at my phone, read articles. Do something to prevent myself to lull myself into a coma. Doing nothing for 5 minute chunks while waiting for software to finish it's task is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Yay Asthma.

Soon winter vacation will be upon us. It won't be too soon. Toronto left a bitter taste in my mouth and I was sick for some time afterwards. I'm still clearing my lungs of mucus. It's weird because I hardly have a cough, but I'm still taking two swings of Buckleys "Coughs and Congestion" two to three times a day.

What I've found is it helps with the lung congestion a great deal, and instead of coughing unproductively forever, with the Buckleys I'm coughing productively very infrequently.  Of course not used to this so I skip taking a dose of Buckleys and then I end up with mild asthma attacks later on.

With this series of infections I've had coming back from Toronto I've almost emptied 3 x 100ml of Buckleys. I have 2 bottles that probably have 2-3 more doses left and one I finished already. Good thing I stocked up on Buckleys in Toronto before I got sick and then again at Walmart the first week I was back home.

Yes I *hate* Walmart for everything it stands for. Making poor people poorer. But I have to say, the meds that I can't find anywhere else I can often find in the Pharmacy at Walmart. Like Buckleys Coughs and Congestion when it was hardest to find, and Rougiers "Strawberry Extract", which keeps my tummy happy when it's unhappy.

I can't believe I fell asleep on my couch around 8ish last night up until midnight where I got up, migrated to bed and went right  back to sleep, even Toby crashed quickly.  I didn't wake up till 3:45 and then fell back asleep until the alarm around 6ish. I know I needed the sleep, I had one night this week-end I didn't sleep, though I took nap both Saturday late afternoon and Sunday late afternoon.  Finally catching up on the sleep I hadn't gotten since Toronto.

Hanging with my homies!

In Memory of December 6th, 1989

In Memoriam of December 6th, 1989

You are gone forever but not forgotten
The memory of your tragedy lives on
It is a pity that you were attacked and killed
For just fulfilling your potential

There is a malaise in society
That was created long before you came to be
It will not go away so easily
Perhaps your death will make the problem clearer

There were those who looked on in disbelief
Those who were confused and deeply hurt
How can someone decide the fate of others
Is there no justice for the living?

The work of a madman for sure
But there is a madperson in all of us
Some say that he was just a marginal exception
But how can we learn to trust others again

Perhaps this incident will make people think
Of all the injustices committed towards women
Perhaps the next time she cries injustice
Society will believe she her complaint.

The answer does lie within each one of us
To forgive him who focused his personal anger on women
To help others learn to love and help themselves
And make this world equal for both men and women.


In your memory: Genevieve Bergeron, Helene Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Havierncik, Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz, Maryse Laganiere, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay,Sonia Pelletier, Michele Richard, Annie St..Arneault, Annie Turcotte

Blood red sky

When I ran my bath this morning noticed that the sunrise was quite colourful

Geese? In December?

On the way out of work around 4ish today I noticed migrating geese. I can't remember the last time I saw geese migrate in December. Usually they are long gone by now. I guess this bunch didn't get the memo.

Why did you open the light, I was sleeping....

I'm still a feminist!

I've been a feminist since I was a small child. I've always felt that being a girl shouldn't prevent me from doing whatever I wanted in my life.  Asked at age 6 what I was going to be when I grew up I would answer "Medical doctor" or even "Prime Minister". Little did I know how much I would hate politics, politicians and  how full of lies public life is, but it never occured to me as a 6 year old girl that I could not do this as a girl in 1962.

I find it appalling the things women still cannot do in 2014.  Simple things like same pay for same work. As a competent computer technician I feel I should earn the same amount of money as another competent technician who does similar job. I am recognized as a competent tech in my field mostly because I use to work 3 times as hard as the boys. I had to be better then them all the time to be noticed as even competent in the field.

When I started in 1992, I used to get razzed about my gender all the time. It only stopped when I started to razz the guys the same way they razzed me.  I've actually told co-worker who couldn't figure out a hardware problem that I quickly resolved that the reason I managed to resolve it that quickly is that I didn't have a penis between my legs to confuse me.

A few weeks ago I had to do reviews for my employees and I know my boss checks our bug database to see how many problems each employee documents.  I realized I had 3 times the number of issues as my best guy, who is my 2nd. Everyone else has put less issues. To be honest I seem to have found as many issues as the rest of my team put together. This has been a constant for many years. Some of it is that I go on projects before the guys so I find the blaring issues. The other thing is I test the more complex configs and that finds the weirder issues.Some of it is that I'm that good at finding issues.

All of this to say that I'm over 50 and I still strongly feel that gender is not relevant in how good you are at something or another.  Yet in 2014 there were still plenty of things women were told they could not do. 

My kitties sun in the kitchen

For a bit this morning I tried to get some vitamin D. I had company.
Can you believe the bronze coloured desert lynx kitten is 7 months old. He's huge.

I'm vibrating with the string. No really?!?!!

Tobias at 7 months old.  Each tile is 12". Draw your own conclusions.

All 4 of my kittehs were hanging out. Yep Ziva was the Diva on the chair!

Toby enjoying the packaging of cat toys

Looking for Christmas presents - Looking for Photos? Christmas Photo shoot?

My friend Nina Haigh is an awesome photographer. I love her work, her vision. She's also easy to work with, energetic, enthusiastic and a ray of sunshine. I'm not just saying it because she's my friend. I'm saying it because these happen to be things I love about her.

Check out her ETSY SHOP  , there you might find prints you really love.

Check out her Facebook page.  where you can find the  Holiday Portrait Sessions,  which makes the perfect gift!!!!!

It happens that I also take photos where she takes photos and it always amazes me the angles that she sees that I don't see. It helps she's got professional training, but she's also quite the artist.   This photo below is one of my favourites, it's along the Lachine Canal in Lachine or Lasalle, I confuse all the beautiful weeping willows along that shore of the Montreal island.

Photographer: Nina Haigh

She works in the Eastern Townships, she's closest to Richmond, but she also travels to Montreal to do her art.

Tuesday on my mind

I've come to the epiphany that there was some sort of shift after I went to Toronto.  Basically things haven't been the same. And we all know how well people with ADHD deal with change. At first like a bull in a china shop. Give me a few weeks and I have adapted.  Also it's the time of the year I hate the most, the time leading to my birthday and Christmas.

That and I've had 3 viral infections, two stemming from colleague who was sick when we travelled and the last caught due to the other two. I'm still fighting the last one. My back is still twingy, I wake up and I have so much congestion, you'd think it was allergy season.

I've been an emotional basketcase needing support. I can't seem to face work today. Yesterday was so dismal, I hid at my desk most of the day. Today, I'm going to stay home in hopes that rest will make me better.

Of course the two episodes of cold sores in my right nostril did nothing good, and when I go through outbreaks of herpes it puts me in a vile mood. I've been ignoring this fact but it keeps reminding me.

As for my friend, he was sick all week-end. Why he couldn't text me he wasn't well, I dunno. I guess that's what I need to get across. He means well.  And apparently whether that makes me an idiot or not is left for others to figure out but I really do like him.  I did figure out I'd rather see him once a month then ever see the asshole from May 2014 again.  So that must mean something. Few men my age get me excited, and he sure does. My friends in Kingsbury remind me to be patient. That if this works out at all for me it will be in the long term and take it slow. My friend in Ireland tells me to take it slow.

SLOW DRIVES ME INSANE.  I can't walk slow, drive slow do much of anything slow..... I gotta go go go go go you know? Like the energizer bunny.

I was reading Savage Love this morning, I've been reading Dan Savage for years, he's taught me a lot. He went on to say that to make a relationship work you have to ignore the things that you don't like and focus on the ones you do. No one is perfect but one person is ok enough to make it work.   He makes a lot of sense. Any relationship is a compromise and while I'm an only child, I still manage to pull of the whole compromise thing at least half of the time.

Is it Monday again?

It's been a while since I've been moodier then the temperature.

I've also just realized that while work forces me to take 2 weeks vacation at Christmas, most of this time will be spent alone as most of the people I know already have plans or are busy during that period of time.

I should have planned myself a trip but there was too many unknowns and I hate unknowns. So like usual I painted myself into a corner and now I'm feeling down and unloved because I did that. Nothing new really.

You'd think with age and forethought things would end different but I suppose I'm crazy thinking that if I keep doing the same thing something will change.

But apparently I'm just crazy.

It's a gloomy Monday of course.

Crazier to think that my friend will find time for me on week-ends. And I believe him each time he says he will, and when he doesn't I feel all defeated. . I spent all week-end anticipating for nothing. Then on Monday I feel like a fool.  How many times can I be fooled? I'm just as gullible as when I was a kid and the adults used to make fun of me.

The other way to be is to believe nothing and think everyone is just an asshole.....

Either way it paints me like an idiot.  What kind of fool believes?  Me obviously. What a fool I am.