Emotions

 I have this thing where half the time I have no clue what I'm feeling.  So I end up blowing up over a stupid comment about nothing. And it often surprises me as much as the person I just blew up at. 

I've been upset about work, about my old boss for months but hadn't been able to verbalize it or put it in words. I was able to tell some to Dave but his sudden death makes me feel like those thoughts died along with him.  

I rarely dream but since I retired I've been having nightmares every night about the computer equipment I left behind. I wake up all upset thinking about the hardware layouts I was testing with. 

Change is hard and this year has been nothing but change. Change in how everything we do, was changes at work, changes with my home being purged of extraneous junk... it's too much.  I feel so lost. 

Sudden death

 It's been less than 2 full weeks since I retired and hear of the death of a colleague.

 I first met him as an intern in technical support over the summer. He then got hired as engineer in ASIC design, became team leader, head of department and eventually VP. 

I worked with him about 20 years, the last where he was my bosses boss. He will be missed. He had a great sense of humour and was very down to earth. 

Dave you will be missed. 

New 70's dress

 I've been stress sewing. This is my latest creation. A dress made with pattern from 1972, Butterick 6683

#SEWNSHOWNSEATED

Feeling upside down

 Still don't know how I'm feeling but I'm upset. I keep crying on and off. I don't deal well with change. The past year has been nothing but constant change. 

I feel so discombobulated. I feel alone with no one to talk about how I feel. No one ever understands and it makes me feel even worse because how I'm feeling gets dismissed. 

I feel so stuck I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to ask for help. I just feel really stuck. 

Another knit dress

 I made this one last fall. I was testing out Simplicity 3503, I made model E in the short version. 

It has come to my attention that disabled sewers appreciate how an outfit looks when one is sitting. So this is the first dress I model both standing and sitting:

#SEWNSHOWNSEATED

I retired after 29 years

 I don't know how I'm feeling. I couldn't sleep last night ... all I could think of was all the conputer equipment I was using and how attached I am to everything. 

My unnatual attachment to innanimate objects. I wonder if it's related or a symptom of my deep abandonment issues. 

All I know is I could not sleep. I'm thinking of all the Lenovo systems. 

I can't find the words for the deep emotional turmoil I'm feeling. 

Pfizer #2

 At Centre Gerry Robertson in Pierrefonds getting my 2nd covid vaccination.

I also wore a dragonfly dress for my 2nd dose. 

My latest sarong finds

Since the beginning of pandemic I haven't had a chance to go to value village much and the last few times they had no sewing patterns. 

I always check for sarongs and silk scarves. Today was no patterns but found a dragonfly sarong!!!! These are the last 3 sarongs that felt the need to come home. 

This one is a skirt. Not sure if someone bought a sarong then adding clips or if it was purchased like this but with minor adjustments on the pleats I've got this one to wear on the beach too! 

  

One of my favourite patterns - New Look 6093

 I first made New look 6093 back in 2015, first with a pink & white plaid stretch woven cotton. I loved the fact the dress was shaped very differently then current dresses I was still buying at the store. What I've recently realized is that it's a 1940's inspired dress, most likely a late 40's pin-up style. I've found a few other dresses made like this one with bias side pieces when researching.  So far all of the ones I've made have been with some form of cotton. Next time I make this dress, I want to make it in a flowy rayon .

One of the things I love about this pattern is that it has a reasonably full skirt but it's not using tons of fabric. I tend to prefer dresses with less fabric than more and I like my dresses above the knee so that I'm less likely to trip. Believe it or not, when I wear long dresses with full skirt, I'm far more clumsy.

New Look 6093 - 40's inspired dress. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Made this one in 2015

This one was made in 2017 with quilting fabric from Atlantic Fabrics. It's a stained glass effect with dragonflies

This one was made in 2018 with Quilting cotton

 

With some colourful cotton batik - Last one I made but never took a photo.

No sympathy for Catholic Church

 Most people know I'm an ex-Catholic. I decided at age 6 that the Catholic religion was full of hypocrites and I would rather go to hell than follow it's teachings. 

 

The Catholic church has been in the news lately in regards to residential school. I can't imagine the trauma families must have felt having to part with their children.

 

 Why the church isn't apologizing is beyond me. But then pedophile priests still get quietly shuffled around to new locations instead of being defrocked. 

 

It's part of a same pattern. The rich, those in power ( in the church) can do no wrong. They can break every single law of man and with contrition and prayer be absolved.

 

My mom on her death bed said if she was refused heaven because she refused to say she was a sinner and have the last rights... she didn't want to go to heaven. 

 

I was traumatized in church. My mom was often sick when I was little and my mom would let me go to Sunday mass alone. I'd usually go to pray that my mom would be better. When I went alone I'd sit in the middle front pew. At 6 I was quite thin and short and didn't look much more than 5. 

 

That particular Sunday, once mass started an intellectually deficient young adult came, pushed me over and sat next to me near the aisle. He prevented me from going to communion and kept me captive in the seat until 10 minutes past the end of the service. This was in full view of the priest and the entire congregation. ( I was kept captive in total  for about an hour) 

 

Not one person came to save me.  But by the time I got home half the parish had called my mom to tell her what happened. 

 

That day I lost my faith. All these people in their Sunday best watched me being bullied and did nothing...  they didn't want to disrupt the service. They thought it was ok for an adult to hurt a small child in plain view. 

 

I've never been angry at the adult who bullied me. He didn't understand. But that day I lost respect for most adults and most people.  

New dresses - I discovered shirring!

Modified New Look 6096 to make it with shirring

Style 2341 from 1978 - My first shirring dress

Made Style 2341 in Rayon.

Favourite Vogue pattern V8724. Love the fit

McCalls M6074 - fabric from FabricLand in Markham

Made in cotton-silk voile lined in rayon.

Made with Butterick B5985

 

It's been over a month

 So when I got pneumonia it was a sign to quit smoking cigarettes. I managed to quit on May1st. Though I had 2 on May 7th I have no smoked since. 

Had been quit to not jynx it. I've quit smoking so many times in my life. The vintage sewing has been so helpful  to keep my mind off it. 

I've made it one month woooohoo! 

Got 18 retro patterns

 I joined a while ago a group on facebook called sewing with cats. Mostly it's cute photos of cats hanging out with sewing projects or interfering.  

In late April at the beginning of the pneumonia someone in that group was gifted with a large lot of vintage patterns and giving away those she didn't want. I was greedy and got 18 patterns. Two for children, the rest all for 'young women' including a few 'junior teens'.  Since the shipping came out to $21.50 US I made sure to reinburse her. But 18 vintage patterns for 25 CAD is an amazing find. Moreso as most patterns are my size. 

More May sewing.

Simplicity 1251 - cotton hoodie.

Back of the cotton hoodie

Knit wrap around dress made with New Look 6301

Simplicity 1799 with a woven cotton that stretches.

 

More sewing from the 1960's & 1970's

Made with McCalls 9676 from 1969 - with cotton I picked up in PEI in 2019.

Made with McCalls 9676 from 1969

Made with Simplicity 7578 from 1968

Made with Simplicity 8259 from 1969

Made with Simplicity 9833 from 1971

Top made with Simplicity 5211 from 1972

 

Mado is 5 today

 

Co-worker tests positive

 In the past 5 weeks I was only at the office one day, last Monday. After I was under the weather after my covid vaccine.

When I came in found out that someone in the lab tested postive for covid and I spent some time with them last Monday. I remember being annoyed at them for wearing mask under nose.  Sadly they got covid mild so they still aren't taking it seriously. And by doing that putting other people at risk. At least 2 people had to stay home and get covid tests because of him. 

HR wants to know if we are positive but dont warn people others have tested positive. 

 Was also annoyed because our covid cleaning stations had no paper towels. Just bottles of a disinfectant spray.... ? I sent a bitchy complaint about that to maintenance and 3 rolls arrived promptly. 

Tacos Don Rigo

 Terry decided to try the taco place on St.. Jean especially since they make veggie corn quesadillas that I can eat. Except of the 6 times he ordered (by phone and then even twice more in person) we gave up. 

Every other time... somehow my corn quesadillas became wheat flour tacos... even though he would specify CORN quesadillas. 

The last time was Sunday. He waited in line outside for an hour to place an order and then waited another 30 minutes, get home only to realize they fucked up my order again. He asked for his money back. Was mot going to wait another 30 minutes again.  Not worth the wait. They get 1 * for bad service. 

Yesterday he made quesadillas at home. Delicious and guaranteed to be corn and not wheat tortillas. 

Deadly 2021

 My sweet next door neighbour to the left died March 7th of this year. She was 83. 

And today, it's the teen boy neighbour to the right that died of cancer. All I know is it was orginally cancer in the bone of one of his legs. Just saw the funeral transport pick up the body. He was only 14. So sad. 

This has not been a good year for my neighbours... there was also those across the island who's house burned late January. 

Team Pfizer

Wore a dragonfly dress to get my COVID-19 vaccination!