Friday, October 13, 2017


The never ending headache. THat never goes away. Oh it goes away for a few hours and then comes back with a vengence.  I have no patience any more.  Where is my quality of life?

There are days I so regret having the stupid MOHS surgery.  No one told me it was going to be months of head aches.  And to make it all better today, I have cold sores in my nose.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm constantly tired. I can't do anything I like, because my head hurts. Life sucks.

Thursday, October 05, 2017

So it's been determined.

About a month ago I was evaluated as an adult to see if I was on the Autism Spectrum. The woman who assessed me is part of the West Island Therapy Center where my therapist is, and specializes in diagnosing autism.

Despite seeing me for just one hour in a professional setting, where I was on my best learned behaviours, she was able to see that I was on the spectrum. Things that stuck out for her was the way I use language, sometimes it's very atypical. Also when I was asked to read a story, while my voice had the proper intonations {my mom had me practice reading out loud with right tones...} my body language did not match my voice at all. Also she found my emotions sometimes did not match my body language.  All very subtle stuff to observe in a one hour assessment.

My therapist in the 8 years he'd been seeing me had missed it though as he now looks back he's realizing that things he attributed to 'personality quirks' were actually behaviours on the spectrum. He says that with women, unless you are especially non verbal, even a trained therapist in learning disabilities can just think the person is quirky rather than autistic.

I'm happy with this assessment. For the first time in my life I KNOW what is 'wrong' with me so to speak. I've always known I was different though not to what extent. As I got older I realized to what extent. Now I have to realize that instead of thinking I'm a loser who can't do anything right, I have to start looking at the fact that despite my limitations, I have managed to get pretty far in life and I should stop beating myself up for mistakes. I'm different not less.

Also this does not negate the ADHD diagnosis, the ADHD is just a subset of the ASD.

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Found another pair of kick ass shoes

Also at the bay but they had none my size the day I bought them so I had to order them online. Indigo road makes a 3 strap Mary Jane that is so adorable.
They arrived Tuesday. I would have worn them already expect it was raining.

Monday, October 02, 2017

Found new dress shoes!

I've' had Rockports before, but it's been a long long time. They were a nice pair of running shoes.  These are a nice pair of black dress shoes. First pair I like in years, since the Hush Puppies store closed.

The one pair of Hush Puppies I like, none of the local stores carry it and I can't tell if I'm a 5 or 5.5 now with them, since they changed their sizing just around the time they closed their Canadian stores.

Adrina Rockports

Sunday, October 01, 2017

New Leopard print Vans.

I loved my Leopard print Vans. I used to have 2 pairs.  But I wore them so much I killed them .
Toby shows off my original 2 pairs of Leopard print Vans. 

So I picked up this pair, that I had to order online as the Vans store in Carrefour Laval did not have them!

Vans Mono Authentic

Thursday, September 28, 2017

New street signs perhaps

My borough of Pierrefonds need to change some of the street signs because they are so faded they cannot be read. See case in point with the signs I took pictures of the past 2 weeks.
Corner of Maplewood and Aragon
Corner of Lalande and Edward

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

OMG What just happened in Saudi Arabia?

So I just read that Women will finally be given the right to drive in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. In June 2018 while they sort out the details.

Monday, September 25, 2017

I cooked all week-end.

It's been months since I cooked anything.  I hate cooking and when I'm feeling down the last thing I want to do is cook. However I haven't been eating very well since I'm not cooking, so I bit the bullet so to speak and cooked all week-end.

I made an Irish stew with beef for Terry and Zoey.  They both loved it. Zoey liked it so much, she even drank all the remaining sauce that she didn't get with her crusty bread.

For myself I made chickpea and tomato curry, a coconut vegetable curry and ratatouille. I also made edamame bean noodles to go with the vegetable curry and the ratatouille.  I made a tabouleh for lunch all week and I also made a spinach lasagne. [not pictured]

Chick pea and tomato curry

Irish stew made with Beef

Coconut vegetable curry


Quinoa Tabouleh

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Well that was unexpected!

So Saturday morning, I went to Fabricville so I could use my $15 coupon.  I bought some Royal blue galaxy twill to make a set of scrubs for Terry.  On my way I got extra thirsty, so I decided to stop at the Super C at Galerie des sources to pick up a 1 litre bottle of Perrier.

I parked on the side of the bureau en gros and walked in. I was wearing the sundress featured below, along with my hot pink sweater and my floral print Vans.  I was also wearing my sunglasses.

Just as I was walking towards the super C, this tall thin black woman, grabs my arm ever so slightly and says " I don't usually give out compliments but I felt I had to.  Dressed like that with those shoes, and the way you're walking, you look like a 16 year old girl going to the mall". and just like that she disappeared quickly before I could say anything.

I guess she saw me as she walked out of bureau en gros and thought seeing me that I was a teen, and when she realized I was a 50 + year old woman,  she felt she had to compliment me for looking so young and being that limber.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

We were both treated like common criminals at Jean Coutu

Last night Terry and I decided to go to Jean Coutu around 8:30 PM. We went to the one on Sources, near the Sheng Tai Asian market.Terry stopped at the shampoos and I wandered off looking for Dove unscented body wash for his daughter who seems to have skin as sensitive as my eldest daughter and myself.

While I was doing that apparently in the 5 minutes he looked at Shampoo's he was asked 3 times if he found what he was looking for. In the end he came home with conditioner and NO SHAMPOO. After being asked 3 times, he felt uncomfortable and felt he was being spied on, so he walked up and down all the aisles all the way to the chips, where he picked a bag and headed to the cash. A female clerk followed him through the store. He waited for me in the car because he didn't like the feeling of being treated like a crook.

After finding the Dove body wash I went up and down all the aisles looking for the hand lotion then I remembered it was near the makeup, so went down to find the new Glysomed for Eczema, since Zoey has eczema on her elbows and knees.  Then I noticed the nail polish behind me, and was looking through the different brands to find a nice shade of red.  I picked a bottle and dropped it. You'd think I'd have dropped something worth a $1000.  This clerk came running my way and gave me the dirtiest of looks when I picked it up. I continued looking at nail polish and this is when I realized she was watching me.  Then I went to find the Noxzema only to realize it was back in that aisle so came back. At that point she started to pretend to tidy stuff behind me and next to me. 

I wandered off again because I wanted to bring a bag of chips home and once I found that I remembered I needed new tweezers so ended back at the same aisle where the girl kept making sure I wasn't stealing.  At that point I should have handed her my basket and said "It's all in here, not in my purse, I wasn't stealing".  But I went to pay, and then found Terry waiting for me in the truck. I asked him why he didn't come to find me, and he said, "Because they were treating me like a thief".

He got followed around by the same clerk as me, the girl with the short brown curly hair and glasses, and a blue Jean Coutu jacket and then an older lady wearing a white Jean Coutu lab coat.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Two more Sundresses !

Butterick 5181

New Look 6369
The blue sundress in a soft rayon challis was made with New Look 6369.  I love it. This dress reminds me of my favourite American Eagle dress.

The other one is also in a soft rayon challis border print was made with Butterick 5181.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Another Sundress

I had cut out dozen's of sundresses in early spring figuring I would make them in spring and early summer, but between the flood, the surgery, the car accident, I really didn't manage to sew. For weeks even sewing would hurt my head. Now it's a mixed bag. It calms down my anxiety at least.

I like this one a lot better than yesterday's.  This one was made with a pattern from 2007, Simplicity 3745. I made it with a batik cotton I picked up at club tissu. This dress would be spectacular made with rayon, as it would have more flow and look nicer.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

A sundress

I also started working on 2 sundresses this week-end.  This one, I made way too small. I suppose I cut it out when I was down to 88 lbs last year. When I first tried it on, I couldn't even wear a bra and needed Terry to zip me up. I undid the sides and gained 1cm on each side. Now at least I can wear a bra and it doesn't hold my boobs up like a vice.

People always say how I'm so talented. Yeah my ass. I make tons of mistakes when I sew and sometimes I have to undo the damn thing multiple times to get it to somewhat fit.  This dress was made using a Project Runway Simplicity pattern. 2175. I made the simplest version to test the fit.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Really DDO?

Another brilliant idea by DDO. Who was the moron who thought it was a good idea to make Spring Garden single lane at Kingsley?   This way there can be a 20 car line up at 8 in the morning when the crossing guard is there.   Because if you cannot turn left you prevent EVERYONE else in the line from moving forward.

At least before you could be 2 cars. If the car in front of you was turning left, you could avoid them by the right to go straight or turn right. If they thought it would make it safer for the children. not so much if there's 100's of cars....

I always wonder who's in charge of the streets in DDO. They make some of the most moronic decisions ever.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

New dresses made in September

Both of these are Rayon dresses.

Thick rayon dress

Rayon dress with 1990's pattern

Saturday, September 09, 2017

New dress made in late August

I love Rayon gauze. It's such a neat fabric. I finally got around to making another dress with Gauze

Friday, September 08, 2017

Hurting every day

It's been almost three months since the surgery I had to remove the basal cell carcinoma. The scar healed fine. I still have a big bump scalp on one end of scar that hurts and the top of my head is still numb. They damaged a nerve and it's taking its sweet time to heal

I'm still in pain everyday and still can't sleep lying down. It's really getting especially working full time thru it all. I'm constantly in pain and have no patience for anything and can't do much if anything I like.

Vacation sucked because of it. Instead of relaxing, I was stressed throughout vacation because my head hurt most of the time.  I'm still stressed out and anxious.

I feel very alone with my pain.  It's times like these I wish my mom and dad were still alive.  I know even when I had hernia surgery my mom was already dead, but my dad helped some.  I so wish I had someone to talk to.  Talking to Terry at this point isn't helpful at all. Half of the time it's like he thinks I'm not in pain or exaggerating or being a major downer.

The stuff I like to do, I can't do much of it because of the pain. I'm losing my patience. I can't cope anymore. Where's my quality of life?

Friday, September 01, 2017

Luna Lindsey: Splines Theory: A Spoons Metaphor for Autism

I found this article and I will need to read it a few more times, but it explains so much.  It will help me explain me to others. 

Luna Lindsey: Splines Theory: A Spoons Metaphor for Autism: An incident occurred last week where my child unexpectedly needed a ride to school in the middle of my writing session. And it ruined my wh...

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

New Dress

Made with dragonfly print bought at Atlantic Fabrics in Dartmouth  last year.  Finished today.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Toby: Our little hunter

So while Terry was at work, and I was in my room sewing and Zoey was in her room sleeping, one of the cats left a bird as a gift for us. I'm assuming it's Toby.  There was feathers EVERYWHERE.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

New purchase

Cat and dragonfly socks!
Sasha New York Stiletto
I fell in love when I saw those shoes at Sears. I just had to have them. It's rare I buy stillettos