I'm broken, but I'll have a nice wardrobe!

One of the few things I can usually do when I am barely functional is sew. I can do it for a few hours a day and at least it stops my mind from spiraling out of control for a few hours.

This dress I finished before the downward spiral hit. The print of the fabric is nothing special and most don't care for it. However it is the softest nicest rayon knit I have ever owned. This was a designer fabric at Club Tissu I bought for myself as a birthday present. Originally $30 something per meter, got it 40% off. Still an expensive dress. But I LOVE how it feels.

These photos were taken by my friend Nina. Note, the lighting wasn't good and I didn't let her edit them. I don't care, I just want to showcase the sewing.

Simplicity 1804 with soft rayon knit

The others have been made since I have been hiding at home. The blue number is awesome. I have the same print on both a knit and a woven denim style fabric. I've used this print already on a number of items, but this dress just rocks. I suspect it will be a favourite camping.

This dress was started last summer. I finished it in hopes it would help bring spring. HA

McCalls M6074 with a summery rayon knit

This next one is a soft rayon woven, I've been heavily into knits but this fabric with it's purple and pinks, reminiscent of my garage....

NewLook 6121

This one I started months ago, reminds me of many of the dresses I had in the 60's.The front bodice and sleeves are made of a stretch sateen and the skirt and back are made from a cotton print.

Simplicity 3833

Then there's the faux snakeskin dress. Don't care much for the fabric or the print, but wanted to try out a pattern. I finished this one today and wore it to therapist appointment.

McCalls M6958

This nightshirt was made from a Butterick pattern I had back in the late 80's early 90's.

Flannel nightshirt .

I'm a total basketcase

While I'm trying to formulate how to put things into words all I can hear is the toc-ing of a woodpecker.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to process but I haven't been at work all last week. Could not. I'd get as far as getting dressed packing a lunch and then turning back.  My uncle's death triggered something, not sure what.

I hadn't been able to cry. Not until this morning.  I have cried now 3 times. Once was brought upon chatting with my Lebanese ex, once was brought upon  chatting with my Irish buddy, and the last was reading a sweet email from my boss from last Thursday telling me to take it easy and not stress out over fact I'm not at work.

The crying it was a start but it's not enough. Is there something horrible in my childhood associated with my uncle. I don't think so. Nothing comes to mind. I liked my uncle. Always have. I don't know him well, since he was around the least when i was a child, but the few memories I have of him are good. It's memories I have with my cousins.. some aren't so good. Maybe this is what my uncle's death is triggering, a bad memory with one of my cousins?  Something beyond fact my female cousin is always a mean bitch to me.

Thankfully seeing my therapist tomorrow. hopefully this will shed some light on where the fuck I'm stuck. because this is beyond being an emotional baskketcase. I can't talk to most people. Can't get out of my house or out of my head much.

It's sad when I don't even want to leave the house for retail therapy. I could use retail therapy. Not clothes so much as fabrics [ All the cupros and all the silks ], shoes, value village....

Cute cute cute

The thing that makes me smile the most is my kitten!

You can hang out with laptop, I'm going to sleep

hmmmm

HI MOM! I want breakfast!!!!

Weeeeeeeeee tissue paper!

Broken

I have not been physically well since some time last week, between the cold sores and the flu like symptoms for sure I was fighting something.

But it's my mind that has been broken. Since the news of my uncles death, I have been in a place I hadn't been since my dad's death. I've been struggling with my dad's death now for over 12 years and I thought I was making progress, but this has spiralled me back years in terms of processing.

That's the problem is that I am not processing emotions anymore. I feel over whelmed all I want to do is to hibernate and be alone.

I have slept more the past 5 days then I've slept the past year!  Me sleeping a lot usually signifies I'm not well in one way or another.Not sure when I'm seeing my therapist next but I could so see him today. Maybe I'll message and see.

I've barely been eating, have no interest in food. It's hard. Usually when I'm this low I have had a significant other who makes sure I get fed. Right now I'm not really paying that good attention. I'm trying to eat 3 times a day, but one day that meant I had 4 eggs and a few crackers with cheese.

I've always had a hard time eating when I'm upset and processing or trying to process emotions. I feel like such a basket-case today.The worst part is that it's 8:15. I was ready to leave for work at 8. I had bathed, brushed my teeth, even gotten dressed, and got into the truck and well that was all the energy I had.

I laughed so hard

Took a picture of my Desert Lynx this morning and with his ears back he looks like he has curled ears just like a Highland Lynx cat.

Desert Lynx meme

My Messy desk

I was reading an article not too long ago about how messy desk is a sign of a creative mind. Well this is my desk:

My desk in March 2015

Close up on the things on my desk...

Yes among the things on my desk includes hand cream, spice mixture to put on potatoes, buckley's cough drops, tetley earl grey decaf tea, white out, a dollar store ball, that lights up when bumped a certain way, pills for back spasms, mouse, pens, sticky notes, highlighters, various USB cables, a USB hub, earbuds, several hard disks.... and that's just looking at the photo :) 

 

On this gloomy first day of Spring

I want to wish my eldest a Happy Birthday, where ever she is sailing today!

The obituary

The obituary for my mom's brother, my uncle Richard.  I'm feeling all discombobulated today.

and he's gone

My uncle left this world this morning around 5:20am. He was close to 80 years old. He had a good life.

Mr Cab Driver....

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not fond of Taxi's.

Don't like the drivers, who almost always drive like assholes. Don't like the attitude of most male taxi drivers, and apparently Montreal has had numerous cases of women sexually assaulted by taxi drivers, and it's been kept HUSH HUSH?!?!?!

One of the last times I took a taxi, I was coming from the Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport in Dorval.  When I got into the car I told the guy I was going to Pierrefonds. I had to stop him from taking the 20 towards downtown.  Then when he realized he wasn't going downtown he drove as slow as possible the entire way back to my place he was surly and he charged me more then the meter said and would not take no for an answer. He asked me for more then I had on me. I went into the house and I had some change in quarters and Loonies, and let me tell you he got paid in the smallest coins I had and I did not hand them to him, I dumped it on his front seat and ran back into the house.

You can find the odd article about it, but the taxi bureau ridicules women who complain. That tells me that WOMEN should not take taxis alone or alternatively, we should do like in Beirut. Have a taxi run by women, driven by women and only FOR women.  This way we'd be less likely to be sexually assaulted.

This woman as per this article, says she is suing because she got assaulted and the driver who assaulted her was suspected in another assault and to this day he still drives a cab!!!!

And for fun including one of my favourite Lenny Kravitz songs.

Happy St Patricks day!

Everyone is Irish on St Patricks day. What's not so cool is that the Irish weren't treated any better then blacks in the US. In fact in some cases, the Irish were slaves too.

Here's one article about the real Irish-American story.

New black dress

 Sunday I made a new dress using a favourite, Butterick 5313. Completely from one end to another. I have like at least 12 dresses cut out but not sewn but wasn't feeling any of them. So I made this one from soft Rayon, so it feels like awesome to wear

In bois de liesse Monday

We know cats are assholes

Realized that it was my female cat setting off the dog. Got to love button pushers even animals do it.

Ziva on dog patrol. Keeps an eye out for dog, bullies and runs it out of rooms when it finds dog!

Cats are assholes

so today I was trying to take photos of up coming sewing projects, and of course after I placed all the fabrics and patterns on the bed, 3 of my 4 cats decided to go investigate. When I got back with phone, this was what I saw.

Cats photo bombing my upcoming sewing projects

Then again the other morning, I had the ity bitty kitty committee in my room as well.  I think they are hiding from the dog. But the dog has been grumpy anyways.

The dog brooding in the other bedroom: It's a hard life. 

Bloke that sews...

I'm not sure why not more men sew to be honest. Tailors are generally men.  My grandpa, old school, would be be 105 today were he still be alive, had some basic sewing skills. He worked for several years on merchant boats going between Montreal and the various ports along the great lakes. He could be gone several months at a time. So before he left my grandma showed him how to hem, fix unsewn items, put back on buttons and even change a zipper. A skill he still used in his 60's.

My last bf had good sewing skills too. He was the first man I'd met in a long time that could sew.

This dude made the news in the UK for his mad sewing skills

STOP! You! Yes you with the big ass SUV

I take Kingsley most days to get to Sunnybrooke.  I've noticed the past 2 or 3 weeks that a police van hides on Sonata and nails people for speeding in a school zone and for not stopping at the various stop signs. From the spot the police hides on Sonata, they can observe 2 stops and 3 school zones.

This morning I was coming from Spring Garden, onto Kingsley and as I approached the stop on the corner of Sonata, I saw the police Van chase a car that had stopped very little. What blew my mind is despite the police car following the SUV, the person kept driving. Finally stopping on Sunnybrooke, right after the stop sign. A horrible place to stop given the traffic on Sunnybrooke.

Most of the time when I see the police van chase someone or catch someone it's between Sonata and Saturn, or even between Saturn and Sunnybrooke but closer to Saturn.

I happened to witness the first interaction between the young male police officer, sexy in his camouflage protest pants, and the middle aged fur coat wearing, privileged woman. If I had been able to hear I'm sure he chewed her out for not stopping when he first went behind her. I mean who did she think he was chasing? His tail? There was no one else on the road in front of her.  If he was going for some emergency he would have just barreled around her.

Oh if I had been able to take a photo of him giving her hell, I would have loved it.

Anyways it made my morning, because there are way too many "privileged" people in the west Island who think they own the road.  Of course if I hadn't let 2 bunches of pedestrians, [one bunch who waved at me thankfully] cross Spring Garden before I turned on Kingsley I would not have witnessed this spectacle!

Skating in a forest?

Le domaine de la foret perdue is roughly two hours from Montreal and located in the Trois Rivieres area. There you can find the labyrinth which encompasses twelve kilometers of skating path, that meanders through a forest

The cost for adults to go skating is fourteen dollars  per day.  They have skate and snowshoe rentals, there are also farm animals that can be observed and fed.  Sounds like a wonderful place to spend the day with friends or children.

Lovely walk in the forest yesterday...

Selfie taken with timer on phone

It felt like spring. For the first time in 2015, I was outside and I was WARM!!!  Heck it's about 6 or 7C and I'm wearing no hat, no mitts, and my coat is open, no scarf. I walked like this with open coat no hat. Usually I wait till about 12 to be able to do it. But it was so consistently cold this winter, that anything above 0 seems warm.

In direct from Quebec.

Hadn't heard about them until I saw it shared from one of my former interns, from Ecole de Technologie Superieur [ETS] but I think the river turbine is a great idea.   To quote the website of company who makes them:

"Combining Quebec’s expertise in hydroelectricity, aluminum and renewable energy, Idénergie has successfully developed the first solution to easily generate electricity from the natural flow of a river. Since its inception, significant efforts have been made in order to overcome technical challenges related to the production of electricity under water. Idénergie has been recognized by various public and private entities for the quality of its project. It will now join solar panels and wind turbines in the growing residential renewable energy market."

My SuperFit boots

I got my winter boots on sale at the Rubino warehouse at Galeries des Sources back in late October or early November. I remember wearing the first time when I went to Toronto in mid November, with no regrets as it was incredibly cold two of the days we were there.

The brand is Superfit, never heard of them before but I liked the boot, the price and the colour. From what I gather they are a Canadian brand and they specialize in making footwear for cold temperatures.

I can't say I wore any other pair of boots most of the winter. Never once were my feet cold.  This is the boots after being worn all December, January and February, some of November and some of March. I'm very pleased with them.

The amusing thing is that when I went to Rubino with my friend when she was looking for winter boots, the salesgirl who helped her out, had the nerve to dis my boots, saying they were the worst piece of crap they sold and they wouldn't last the winter. Talk about stupid. You don't dis merchandise you sell! Especially not to someone who bought them from your store just a week or two earlier.