I could have written this

Found this article and the list is so me. :)  I wish my mom was alive and I could show her why I never managed to graduate from university. Why such a bright girl has so many fears and sometimes gets so stuck in her own head...

Neurodiverse eh?

I'd be curious how many friends and family are possibly on the spectrum. There's a quiz found here

These were my results:

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 146 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 81 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

Feel free to leave results in comments, if you like! 

Autism in Women in Quebec

I recently stumbled upon the fact that they are doing studies in Quebec and France about women with autism.  It's called "l'Autisme au feminin".  You can sign up here.

According to what I've read currently there is 1 woman diagnosed for every 4 men.  This is apparently wrong, there should be 1 women diagnosed for every 2 man.  Meaning that most women never get diagnosis.  Which is sad.  Knowledge is everything.  I feel so relieved. I spent most of my adult life knowing I was different, thinking I was half assed crazy but never been able to put my finger on it.  I feel so much better. I feel like for the first time I see the light. It explains EVERYTHING

This particular study is in French, so you can only participate if you master the French language, but you don't need to have an official diagnosis to participate.

I don't expect to benefit from this study, but hopefully the younger generation of girls will have an easier time getting diagnosis and treatment.

This blog on Aspie women has been very helpful

This describes me. Especially the social hangovers! But so much else.  It's all making sense. Like a puzzle. So many things I could not put in words.I mean I always knew I was different, but I didn't realize I wasn't neurotypical until the original ADHD diagnosis 6 years ago. I don't have words to always describe how I'm feeling.  This social hangover, I was never able to express it except to say I needed time alone

What got me to really push my therapist to look at possibility I had an ASD, was this blog post, shared by a Facebook friend. She identified with it herself and suspected I might identify with it too. She knew I was in a position to actually get a diagnosis, whereas she's less in that position.

I went through the 30 points of that blog post with my therapist point per point, describing how I was at 5. I think most points hit home. With this he was able to see me, without the the hundreds of coping skills We discussed it first in early May. Last appointment in early June he said he thought about it and it all fits.

That he's sure without more testing that I am of the Asperger type of ASD, though that term has now been dropped from the DSMV.  We discussed doing another test, but I think  it might be more helpful to me to bring the blog post I linked earlier under social hangovers above and discuss the points that apply, and ask for help in the points where I struggle. I can put it in black and white, though many points have been previously identified.

I've been beating myself up for most of my life for behaviours that I can't help. I'm wired a certain way, I'm different, not less. Having mostly identified my weaknesses I can make a plan to help myself manage life and manage my stress and anxiety better.  And not beat myself up so much when I crash.

Something a fellow ASD said the other day resonates ; "We seem to know ourselves deeply but seem to be also running in  parallel with the rest of society"