Why are we still blaming the victim's behaviour?

A statement made by a female advice columnist to young women was basically "don't drink if you don't want to get raped". By that logic, I'm surprised she didn't suggest young women also stay home and don't date.  I'm surprised she didn't call for a curfew on all young women to make sure women were home safely!

I remember reading that when Golda Meir was asked to put a curfew on women following a series of rapes suggested that it is the men that should be under curfew as they were the ones committing the rapes.  Yet Golda Meir is supposed to be no friend of women, despite having been a woman in power.  But she got it, to not blame the victim but the attacker.

I never told my daughters not to drink, but I did tell them if they got really intoxicated they could always call home to ask for a lift because people will take advantage of a drunk person. That we wouldn't lecture them about drinking, we'd just pick em up no questions asked. 

Ultimately why are women still blaming the victim?  I was raped and I wasn't drunk or intoxicated enough to not know what was happening. I was VERY AWARE I was being raped. I chose not to fight because I didn't want to have broken bones on top of sexual violence.  I don't remember drinking that night, but if I did it was one or 2 beers, nothing to make me lose control or not know what was happening.  I didn't really start to drink or do drugs to excess until AFTER I was raped.

I've rarely seen campaigns aimed at men saying "NO MEANS NO" and "Rape is bad". No often when a woman reports a rape, we get told, "You were originally willing, now you changed your mind".  What amazes me the most is women who still blame the victim? Or people who will tell me not to divulge I've been raped because it makes me damaged goods!    Right. Would you say that to someone who was beaten up in an alley to get his wallet stolen?

People don't even take no for simple things. I remember having a huge confrontation with a door to door salesmen who would not take no for an answer and sadly had managed to corner me in the hallway leading to my apartment. Trust me if I had been in the apartment I would not have answered to his knocks.  He was selling long distance telephone plans. From the minute he talked to me I told him I was not interested. He kept insisting. When I finally got into my apartment I slammed the door, locked it and yelled "NO MEANS NO MEANS NO". ANd I heard him yell back in the hallway "STUPID BITCH". Yes.. I'm a stupid bitch because you could not bully me into signing a long distance phone contract I did not need and could not afford. But I'm the bitch!!!!  And most people would see it as me being out of control, because I stood my ground and did not let a jerk bully me.

Rape education should be aimed at men.   You shouldn't be turned on by an unwilling participant!!!!