Towards an ASD diagnosis.

After the therapy session today, my therapist is now 99% sure I'm ASD.  He's also going to re-run the long diagnostic test he had me do 6 years ago, through the system again, apparently they analyze the data differently than they did back then.  Also next appointment, he will give me a test  to identify the level of my neuro differences.   I will also be meeting with a woman who works in the same office, for part of the test. She is their specialist in diagnosing autism. One part of test she will be doing is showing me pictures with facial expressions and see if I can identify them.  She generally works with children but apparently has diagnosed several young adults recently. I bet I will be the oldest female adult she's ever had to diagnose!

It feels good to know. It all fits in. Like I'm not missing parts of the puzzle anymore.  All the other health issues I have tend to be typical of people with autism. From the general over sensitivity, to the asthma, eczema, seasonal allergies, food allergies and intolerances, as well as gluten sensitivity, add the social anxiety, the generalized anxiety, hating change and the sensory processing disorder . Hell even my painful periods and hellish PMS which was closer to PMDD, it all fits.

Whether my mom knew or not or suspected, what's for sure is that she tried to help me be as autonomous and independent as possible. She gave me hundreds of coping skills and she had figured out many things about me to make me function at high levels.  My therapist thinks I'm a successful. person. To have managed to get myself where I am and function given all the other trauma's I've had, I'm ok. Now I just need to convince myself and not be always so hard on myself.  I often see myself as a GINORMOUS failure.

I need to keep repeating to myself, I'm different, not less.