Frazzled

I still haven't gotten over the shock of Rick's death on Canada day. I'm well aware of the fragility of life, but Rick you know was the guy who was going to live forever. Or at least it seemed that way. From the time I met him in Fall 1990 till today, Rick had pretty much been a constant in my extended circle of friends. I read his Facebook page just hours before his untimely demise.

I've been upset about it all week. Not to the point where I can't function like after my parents death, but I'm not functioning so well. I was just able to go to work, go to the funeral home for the viewing on Wednesday and that's it. I haven't been able to do any errands or even leave work at lunch time. I'm just frazzled. I was hoping to go to Quebec City to see daughters this week-end, but I didn't even have the stamina to drive up and for some reason this week-end is bad because they are booked at the base.  I also don't have the cash right now for anything.

I also couldn't find it in me to put on a happy face and go out for dinner with some friends from out of town, who only had a tiny window to meet friends and family. I so wanted to see them, I've missed George and Bia. I also wanted hubby to meet them as I've talk about my buddy George often enough. But I got home after work and all I could do was cry and cry and cry last night.

It didn't help that sometime this week I noticed one of the sapphires on my engagement ring had fallen off. That really upset me and every time I'd think of it hubby wasn't around. I finally got to show him yesterday and cried and cried.  I'm not sure I know why I'm so upset. But I love that ring we got in Gold land in Dubai. I love the fact it has like 6 little sapphires and 5 little diamonds. It's just so beautiful and unique and it's white gold. I remember when we toured this place in Dubai, I was just disappointed by the jewellery.  Traditionally Bedouin jewellery is big and being tiny I tend to like smaller things.  That's why my ring is so special, it's so delicate.  Hubby took it to get it fixed and I feel bare without it.

It's a beautiful summer day and I could be out enjoying it but chances are I will stay in and watch M*A*S*H in hopes it lifts my spirits. It's the show that helped me get through that nasty break-down I had in 2001 [or was it 2002].