Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Anxiety, stresses, Oh My!

Things still aren't going easily. Still having to go through hoops to get simple things done. After a while I just want to not have to deal with all of this crap.

Life has never been easy for me and of late it seems like someone keeps pissing on my parade, putting sticks in my bike spokes... it's just frustrating and infuriating.

I hate banks, I hate dealing with banks. There are stupid arbitrary rules that will just drive me CRAZY...

My anxiety has been bad the past few days and I keep forgetting to take supplements that would help me manage my stress.

Though this week I'm technically back at work full time, as it turns out, Tomorrow is a holiday so it's still a 4 day week for me.

Please let me get through this day and gets things resolved!!! 

Friday, October 17, 2014

stress sucks

Here I thought I left work at work, that I'd learned to handle my stress and  so on.

Wednesday when my friend picked me up from the train station and asked how I was doing and explained that my lower abdomen was in a knot and I had waves of nausea, she suggested it was stress and then perhaps that it was my date tonight that was doing it.

Well no. While I do get nervous before a date {usually in the 30 minutes before it happens} never to this level. However today was the major release that has probably been the source of my lower abdomen distress.

I had stomach issues also about 3-4 weeks ago. Also before the beta release. This project has been particularly stressful. I'm used to working with a team of engineers who can generally fix anything I throw at them.  If the software issue I find, turns out to be hardware or ASIC, we can find a work-around. Our engineers are really creative at circumventing windows limitations even.  Sadly because this is a joint effort with another company, well some problems will never get resolved.  I'm not used to having to live with what I consider nasty bugs, and which I feel lowers the quality of the product.

So essentially this release has really stressed me.  And of course the nasty pains came out MONDAY after 3 idyllic days spent with my friends in Kingsbury. In fact the stomach pains came out pretty bad the last afternoon I was supposed to be there. 

Today finally I woke up without my tummy in a knot. Sure I made the packages for web release yesterday and by quitting time, nothing catastrophic had been found. One wrong string that I suspect is stuck in cement, which makes things look inconsistent, but certainly not a show stopper!


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Cold sores

Apparently my stress levels haven't gone down, as I woke up this morning with a large festering cold sore on the edge of my right nostril. It's leaking and swelled up. Will not be pretty later today. And I didn't even blow my nose, like wtf? 

I have an intern that is really pissing me off. Other then the fact he pulled a fast one last week - he left at noon on Friday, didn't ask for permission, just said goodbye to colleagues near his desk and left at lunch time!  He also tried to put overtime on his  timesheet which despite fact interns cannot do overtime.  He's also ignored my direct orders and not run the tests I asked him to run, to debug a problem he found and I didn't want engineers to waste their time on.   I asked him to run a script overnight at 4:30 pm. Despite not leaving before 6pm he didn't manage to ask or run the test I asked him overnight.   Not to outdo himself, he did it again last night. Two days in a row. 

Sadly this poor intern is now in my cross hairs. I'm a great boss for people with motivation,and initiative, I give you a lot of latitude to do your thing.  Don't do something to blow my trust. Once it's blown I trust nothing you do or say. This student has managed to make it there with his mistakes the past 2 weeks. What did he did because his mid-term evaluation was good that it was a reason to start being a moron? Does he not realize that he's also getting evaluated at the end and I will not forget how he disobeyed direct instructions.