Pain

Bleah

The never ending headache. THat never goes away. Oh it goes away for a few hours and then comes back with a vengence.  I have no patience any more.  Where is my quality of life?

There are days I so regret having the stupid MOHS surgery.  No one told me it was going to be months of head aches.  And to make it all better today, I have cold sores in my nose.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm constantly tired. I can't do anything I like, because my head hurts. Life sucks.

Hurting every day

It's been almost three months since the surgery I had to remove the basal cell carcinoma. The scar healed fine. I still have a big bump on.my scalp on one end of scar that hurts and the top of my head is still numb. They damaged a nerve and it's taking its sweet time to heal

I'm still in pain everyday and still can't sleep lying down. It's really getting to.me. especially working full time thru it all. I'm constantly in pain and have no patience for anything and can't do much if anything I like.

Vacation sucked because of it. Instead of relaxing, I was stressed throughout vacation because my head hurt most of the time.  I'm still stressed out and anxious.

I feel very alone with my pain.  It's times like these I wish my mom and dad were still alive.  I know even when I had hernia surgery my mom was already dead, but my dad helped some.  I so wish I had someone to talk to.  Talking to Terry at this point isn't helpful at all. Half of the time it's like he thinks I'm not in pain or exaggerating or being a major downer.

The stuff I like to do, I can't do much of it because of the pain. I'm losing my patience. I can't cope anymore. Where's my quality of life?

So it's normal.

This is how my head looks today. I still have a bump on the scalp end of the scar, and numbness on the top of my head. Since it's now 6 weeks from the surgery, I decided to call the dermatologist at du Marché. The one who did the biopsy and ask if I could be seen this week.

As it turns out, he was working only till noon today and then he's on vacation. I let his assistant know about how I still have a bump, and I still have numbness at the top of my head and I wanted to make sure this is normal. I said the scar was beautifully healed, but the bump and numbness and pain was of concern.

 She said she'd leave a message for the doctor and hoped he'd see it before he quit at noon. Well 30 minutes later she called back to say that due to the location of my surgery, the bump and head numbness is normal. There has been a nerve that was affected. I can massage the bump when I'm not doing anything and it's bugging me, it should help and that the doctor would like to see me in a followup in December.

Last stitch finally gone.

So this morning we removed the last stitch. Finally. Now hopefully the numbness on the top.of the head will disperse. ..

Still got one fucking stitch

For some reason the top two melting stitches have been giving me a hard time. Maybe it's because they are on my scalp rather than my forehead. The presence of hair might have hampered my body's ability to spot foreign substances Yesterday morning Terry cut the last top stitch saying it was the only left. This morning I realized that the one before that is still there intact. WHAT THE FUCK!!! All the other stitches are long gone. Highly unimpressed.

Slowly healing scar

Don't know if the sutures are dissolving normally or not.

The sutures slowly melting

This is how it looks today

The scar

Here is the scar from the Mohs surgery. 

After the surgery