Considering that I tend to pick up men with drinking issues, this article is very apropos. It's well written and discusses how to protect from the dangers of alcohol and alcoholism. I'd send this to my drunken Mohawk ex but he probably wouldn't read it because he doesn't have a problem. Just because it's legal doesn't make it any less dangerous. Apparently it's people with bi-polar disorder that are more likely to abuse alcohol in hopes to help them with their mood dysrhythmia. It doesn't help and with time it turns them in creeps.
I'm sure my manic-depressive biological dad was just self-medicating with the volumes of alcohol he took daily. My mom used to say it was either one or two 40 ounces of hard liquor a day for him. Under that type of intoxication he found it a good idea to try strangling me in my sleep at 2 1/2. Yeah sound judgment there.
He would probably argue that it never happened, that he has no recollection. He certainly couldn't think of any reason why his daughter wouldn't want to have anything to do with him when he started calling me in my late teens. He had the nerve to say my mom had turned me against him. GEE. YOU DON"T THINK TRYING TO KILL YOUR DAUGHTER WOULD TURN HER AGAINST YOU? Of course not. It's like my Mohawk ex - the one in denial. I'm the bitch who won't talk with him ,and he doesn't get why. Because he never remembers how much of a douche he is when he drinks.
I stopped drinking myself 31 years ago because I cannot control my inhibitions when I drink. I came to that mature realization at 19 years of age. I knew then that if I wanted to have a chance at a normal life I COULD NOT DRINK. I'm not sure how normal my life has been till now, but far more so then if I had been drinking all this time.
I really hope that the men that were in my life with drinking problems will find the will power to stop drinking. It's all I can hope for. It sucks that alcohol despite taking it out of my life, still haunts me in ways it should not. And before anyone thinks that being a dry alcoholic is easy, I still wonder if just trying one drink might not be fun one day. It's been so long.... alcohol still talks to me. So long as its out of sight, it's out of mind thankfully.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
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