Paranoid Parents

It amazes me. Parents realizing their precious little snowflakes suffer from obesity now signing them up at Kiddie Gyms. I used to get comments when my daughters were younger for letting them play outside. Something much healthier then having them cooped in the house with a game playstation or computer all day.

The first house we bought had a nice fenced in yard with a 5ft gate on one side and 6 ft gate on the other side. I naively thought that it would keep my daughters, then aged 21 months and close to 3, in the yard. The first day I let them go in the back yard, I found them both on the front lawn not much later. So I watched. The baby managed to climb the 5ft gate to end up in the front yard, and the 3 year old, climbed the 6ft gate. I realized that the gate climbing in itself was dangerous. Their clothes could get stuck on the gate. I sat down my 2 toddlers and had a talk with them. I told them that I would leave the gates opened, but if I so much as caught any part of them off our property, in particular in the street they would never play outside again.

I didn't think it would work, but it worked well. They stayed off the street, and the area where they could play got to include the next door neighbor's property. They had 3 children around the same age as my 2 daughters and all 5 children could play in both yards. I'd watch them in my yard, the neighbor when they were in their yard.

I put them both in preschool starting at age 3. Basically it was 2 hours a day 4 days a week. The preschool was about a 15 minute walk away, and I'd walk them to the preschool regardless of the weather. My daughters got so used to walking even in the -20 weather, that we'd get home from the pre-school and they would want to stay outside and play, regardless how cold it got. I'd have to tell them no, when it was less then -15, because little ones don't move enough and don't realize when their hands/feet start to freeze, even if they were well dressed for the temperature.

Sadly we didn't stay in that house for more then 2-3 years, their dad and I split up, and I moved to a low-rent housing complex. I was warned by everyone I knew that it was the WORST place in all of our area of Montreal. That it had a high rate of crime. I was thinking, well duh, you put 3,000 people in a tiny area, and you will get more problems then if you spread them out.

I got an appartment in a building that was on the edge of the Bois de Liesse. I figured at least my kids would be able to play on the edge of the forest, and in the few park areas designed for the multitude of children living in the area. One of those parks had monkey bars that were 2 meters high. I remember driving home from work on day and seeing a very small child sitting on top of the monkey bars. My first reaction was "What kind of parent leaves a child that small climb up that high". Then it hit me. It was my baby, Isabelle, the one who is always climbing, that was sitting on top of the monkey bars. I decided NOT to stop the car. Because I thought if I yelled out her name, it might startle her and she might fall off. I reminded myself that I taught her how to climb, because she was a climber before she started to walk before age 1, and that despite her clumbsiness, she was also good at climbing.

As for the forest, I told the girls, they could play in the forest so long as they can still see the buildings of our complex. I figured it was healthier and safer to play in the woods, then in the street. The most dangerous animals in that stretch of woods in Montreal are red foxes and owls. And generally children make too much noise, tend to scare the away. My daughters actually have wonderful memories of living in the low-rent housing complex. In their words "There was parks, the woods and tons of children, always someone to play with".

Of course they weren't allowed outside after dark, and alternatively in the winter, not after 6pm [since it's dark at 4:30] and if it was dark they had to stay within earshot. I'm sure it was great for Izzy living there, as between the ages of 5-10 if I was looking for her, the most likely place to find her was up a tree. Izzy was a lot like having a son. She was fearless and it still amazes her dad and I to this day that she made it to 16 without breaking anything. Of course we're not sure she did break something at 16, but she had a cast on her thumb and wrist for 6 weeks, doctors never were able to say if it was a cracked bone, a broken bone, or just ligaments & muscles so strained and swelled that they couldn't tell if something was broken.

I mean sure I put Sam in little league baseball at 8 and Izzy in little league soccer [football for people outside north america] at 7, and they both took swimming lessons from the time they were babies. I figured most kids like playing in water, the earlier they learn how to swim and pool safety, the safer it is for them. Izzy also played basketball at school and in a league for a year. Both also played for their school volleyball team. And of course both got into Rugby at the end of high school and played in college as well as in a league. I've taught them to to ice skate as toddlers, and how to ride a bicycle. They also know how to in-line skate since it was something we could do together, as mom is less athletic then both daughters. I'm happy that they are athletic enough to handle team sports, unlike me who did best at individual sports.

But they got to play outside, get familiar with their environment use their creativity, and stay in shape. It drove me nuts that others labeled me as a bad parent, because I didn't control what they did 24/7 Kids need time to be just kids. To not have anyone telling them what to do, and to be able to just lie in the grass and watch the clouds in the sky.