Friday, February 20, 2015

Far less angry

This is a general thing. Not how I feel after driving in rush hour in DDO and Pierrefonds. Don't even get me started on the traffic today.

However what I mean is that in general since I made a conscious effort to not get angry at things I have no control over, I'm far less angry. I've also made peace with events from my past, and I'm thinking about blogging about them. Putting it out in the open.  The bullying,  the hurtful things that happened.

At the end of my last therapy session, my therapist said he learned more about me that day then in the 4 prior years. He also said that I am incredibly well adjusted knowing all this. 

So I am far less angry overall. I still blow up and boil over and get all bent out of shape over the most stupid things, but I no longer really dwell.  This has affected the music I listen to.  I've been listening to far less angry music. I still love NIN and Rage against the Machine, but the past couple of weeks, if not even months, I've been heavily into the doors, and Riders on the storm.   I just get lost in the music. You'd think Id be bored of it... but most days no..

I have cool memories associated with this song from various decades too. I mean there was my decadent late teens, and then there was my late 20's. I remember driving down the 40 into a ginormous harvest moon, probably going between 160-180 with a friend in his green Beretta.  I associate it with the movie "no one gets out of here alive" that I saw years after I read the book. 

Other songs that lately I must listen to, Moby Porcelain. I hadn't listened to that in easily 10 years, add some  Coldplay, Syntax, and Jesus Jones and that's what mostly is lighting me up.

On a completely unrelated subject, today I ended up talking with one of the hardware guys who is native of Lebanon but hasn't visited in over 20 years.  We talked about the places in Lebanon I'd visited, the places I'd gone in Syria and Jordan, about the geopolitical situation, the people of the middle east, including him tossing the odd arab word, many of whom I would instantly recognize. He told me by the time we finished our conversation that I was very incredibly well informed on the middle east. I was thinking it was mostly through absorbing though my Lebanese hubby's eyes.  But then I realized that the comment I made about ISIS/ISIL today was definitely an opinion I'd formed alone. I think I commented that this group was just a more backwards form of Wahhabism. .

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