Friday, January 14, 2011

Solitude is a good friend.

I go through periods in my life where I have a profound need to be alone. It's like it all becomes too much. I become overwhelmed with the outside world. I become so drained that I need to withdraw from others and society. 

Sometimes I can go for weeks without going out except for work, and since I've been at the same workplace for close to 19 years, I can handle going in most of the time. When I get like this though I work more hours when no one is around [like while others are at lunch]. I'll pick up groceries or cat food during my lunch break, which I take when others are back from lunch. Other then that I have little or no social contact. 

I'd love to be able to go live out in the middle of nowhere, with the nearest neighbor no closer then a kilometer away. Have a property with trees and a stream or lake. Sometimes I wish I could figure out a way to work from home. I love Montreal, but I'd love to not live in it anymore. It would be far more exciting to visit :)

I used to get lonely at times as a child or a teen. Of course after my daughters were born I didn't get much time alone and since that point I've rarely gotten lonely when I've been alone. No I have reveled in the fact that I could just be. 

I've just realized that in 2010, I spent about 3 months living in close proximity with 4 to 6 people, between having my gf's family living with me after the fire, to living at my mom-in-laws during our vacation. Don't get me wrong if something happened to my gf, I'd still take her in for as long as it takes and I really had a great time at my mom in laws. I'm not complaining but then after I need to spend time all alone to recharge my batteries.

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