Interesting Biases

Was talking to Debbie about the waterheater woman, and she pointed out that I sound really young. Reminded me of an incident when I lived on Woodhaven circle.

It was afternoon, and both of my daughters had just fallen asleep for the afternoon nap. It was a warm day out, so I had the front door open, and the screen door was locked, so air could come into the house.

Some young traveling salesman rings the doorbell. I wasn't expecting anyone and had forgotten I'd left only the screen door, so, the moron rings like 10 times in a row. Of course by then you can hear two crying babies. [maybe they were 2 and 4 respectively]

SO I go to the door pretty pissed, and the first thing he says to me is "Are your parents home?" I answered that if he wants my parents he's in the wrong part of town, that they live in RDP [30km away]. He tells me to stop jerking him around that he wants to talk to one of my parents. At this point I lose it. I tell him this is my house and the crying he's hearing are my two daughters that he woke up with his obnoxious ringing, that if someone isn't answering the door, perhaps they don't want to answer the door or they have sleeping toddlers.

So at this point he starts getting argumentative. I should be flattered that he thought I was so young and he starts on his sales pitch. I told him he'd better get off my property.

That was one of three times, since I've moved out of my parents home at 21, where someone assumed I was too young to be a parent, too young to own a home, too young to be living by myself. And the thing is.. they think you should be flattered that you get treated like a 16 year old.

Sorry if I was able to vote and drink legally at 18, I'm old enough to buy appliances like a stove and a fridge [SHould have seen how many stores my ex hubby and I had to walk to at 23/24 to be able to buy appliances before someone would talk to us], to have children, to take care of my children and to own a home. I should be capable of making decisions about my future like any other adult.

It still gets to me that at 40 + years old some people still talk down to you like you're a little kid who woulnd't know how to deal with their own life. I've owned this house by myself for the past 7 years. I'm SO F***ING fed up of people telling me to 'consult your husband'.

I mean like I explained to my older neighbor a few days ago, I'm mechanically inclined. I've always been mechanically inclined. I used to help my grandpa fix things starting at age 3-4. I could better anticipate the tools he needed then his kids or any one else he worked with other then my grandma. I'm also a reasonably good problem solver. I tend to like men who are artists who might not have a mechanical bone in their body.

Dr. Phil yesterday was about 'girly men' and how some had wives who had issues with being 'The man of the house". I have no issues with playing the role I'm good at. I don't expect my male partners to 'be the man'. I expect them to be a partner. To be someone with who we split up tasks according to interest & capabilities, not according to gender.

I used to get so upset when my youngest, who is a tom boy, would come home and tell me that some boy told her "girls don't play with such and such thing", and I used to ask her "Do you like playing with toy X", then say "Mommy gives you permission to play with toy x". TO make her realize that she was allowed being herself, even if that meant she was not a stereotypical little girl. She loved to play with cars and construction games, and not with dolls. And for those who might think she's not maternal, it's actually quite the contrary. My youngest is a natural with children. Always has been from like 3 or 4. She would help out with the younger children at her babysitters. She's worked in day camps, She works as a lifeguard and swimming instructor now. She loves working with children. My eldest daughter who loved playing with dolls, is much like me and has no maternal bone in her body. Doesn't like small children. Doesn't know how to approach them or what to do with them. But like me I'm sure she'll make a fine mother if she wants to be one. We're not maternal, but we use common sense instead to make sure child has what he/she needs. We don't care for other people's kids much. [Though with age I'm finding that is changing for me. I get all gaga over children under 5 now.... can't wait to be a grandma]

Off my soapbox again...